Ephemera Reflection Painting

First, my apologies to the few who have followed me and to the general public for my lack of attention to this website and art. Two and a half years ago my beautiful 17 year old daughter passed in an auto accident. The effect on myself was devastating. I felt as if I too had died but was left here in this plane of existence. I have been unable to paint for the past 2 years. Everything I knew and had been was knocked out of me by the shock of the loss of the most important person in my life. Recently I feel I have been emerging from a dream, a dream I now recognize was not a dream at all but in fact what we all term "reality". I recently have been able to paint again. The painting I was working on when she passed has sat untouched for more than 2 years. Finally after recognizing my situation I have begun to paint again. Painting was always my way of healing and see that it will be that again. The first painting I have finished is downloaded here (DAARPA Hummingbird Drones). It is a very "tight" painting and was quite a struggle to accomplish. I kept feeling I must remember all I had known previously about painting. I kept thinking it was all still inside me. That was not the case. Everything I had know was gone, memory, feelings of love and beauty had been knocked out of me in a single moment. My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a loved one, especially a child. I am beginning to see the beauty around me again and feel fleeting moments of love for all of humanity. The wind, snow, sun setting and rising still does not produce the feelings of awe and wonder that it used to but I do get an occasional moment of those amazing feelings that we are all capable of. I have again been involved in the study of "the nature of reality", our perception of it and our place in it and have come to some solid understandings of it. The nature of these understandings are that we can never perceive reality in all of its context. It is far too great and vast for common understanding. As I said above, I struggled through this first painting trying to remember all I had know before my loss and finally came to the realization that the past is simply imagination as well as the future.