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“I’d be a carrot.” Painting

Philip Leister

Painting, Acrylic on Canvas

Size: 12 W x 48 H x 0.5 D in

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About The Artwork

Jay Sherman: Lady, don't take this the wrong way, but you're nuts! Old Lady: Oh, you sound just like the toaster. [in Indecent Proposal II movie] Robert Redford: I'd like to sleep with your wife and I'm prepared to pay... six dollars. Demi Moore: Last time you paid us a million! Robert Redford: I know. At the time, I was worth one million and six dollars. Jay Sherman: Next year, you could be head of this studio. Security Guard: No, last year I WAS head of the studio. A twelve-picture deal with Shelly Long seemed like a good idea... Franklin Sherman: If I could be a vegetable, I’d be a carrot. from ‘The Critic’ (1994-2001) S1 E4: “Miserable” (2/16/94) Starring Pamela Reed (“Nah, it's OK, I'm not gonna throw up on you. But I am gonna kiss you.”), Brenda Vaccaro (Midnight Cowboy), Charles Napier (“Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades? Eh?”), Lil & Phil (Cubert Farnsworth), Nick Jameson (The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-Earth II), Calculon (The Real Ghostbusters), Nancy Cartwright (Anastasia), Ernie Capadino (“See, how it works is, the train moves, not the station.”), Judith Ivey (Keanu’s Advocate), Gerrit Graham (My Girl 2), Lunchlady Doris (“I can only give you Chewable Prozac for Kids in the shape of cartoon characters. I've got Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Bluebird of Unhappiness.”), and Christine Cavanaugh (“Baa-ram-ewe! Baa-ram-ewe! To your breed, your fleece, your clan be true! Sheep be true! Baa-ram-ewe!”). Written by Steven Levitan (It’s Hard to Say Goodbye If You Won’t Leave). Directed by Dan Jeup (Dr. Jay) and Gregg Vanzo (Space Pilot 3000). The Critic created by Al Jean (The Tonight Show Starring… The Last Good One. [Team Coco 4 Life]) and Mike Reiss (It’s Garry Shandling’s Show.).

Details & Dimensions

Painting:Acrylic on Canvas

Original:One-of-a-kind Artwork

Size:12 W x 48 H x 0.5 D in

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Delivery Time:Typically 5-7 business days for domestic shipments, 10-14 business days for international shipments.

I’m (I am?) a self-taught artist, originally from the north suburbs of Chicago (also known as John Hughes' America). Born in 1984, I started painting in 2017 and began to take it somewhat seriously in 2019. I currently reside in rural Montana and live a secluded life with my three dogs - Pebbles (a.k.a. Jaws, Brandy, Fang), Bam Bam (a.k.a. Scrat, Dinki-Di, Trash Panda, Dug), and Mystique (a.k.a. Lady), and five cats - Burglekutt (a.k.a. Ghostmouse Makah), Vohnkar! (a.k.a. Storm Shadow, Grogu), Falkor (a.k.a. Moro, The Mummy's Kryptonite, Wendigo, BFC), Nibbler (a.k.a. Cobblepot), and Meegosh (a.k.a. Lenny). Part of the preface to the 'Complete Works of Emily Dickinson helps sum me up as a person and an artist: "The verses of Emily Dickinson belong emphatically to what Emerson long since called ‘the Poetry of the Portfolio,’ something produced absolutely without the thought of publication, and solely by way of expression of the writer's own mind. Such verse must inevitably forfeit whatever advantage lies in the discipline of public criticism and the enforced conformity to accepted ways. On the other hand, it may often gain something through the habit of freedom and unconventional utterance of daring thoughts. In the case of the present author, there was no choice in the matter; she must write thus, or not at all. A recluse by temperament and habit, literally spending years without settling her foot beyond the doorstep, and many more years during which her walks were strictly limited to her father's grounds, she habitually concealed her mind, like her person, from all but a few friends; and it was with great difficulty that she was persuaded to print during her lifetime, three or four poems. Yet she wrote verses in great abundance; and though brought curiosity indifferent to all conventional rules, had yet a rigorous literary standard of her own, and often altered a word many times to suit an ear which had its own tenacious fastidiousness." -Thomas Wentworth Higginson "Not bad... you say this is your first lesson?" "Yes, but my father was an *art collector*, so…"

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