"It started between us two" Painting

My work has been evolving recently to include more layers, more color and more depth. I've been continuing the push to step away from the usual process, which was: draw a shape and fill in the shape. Instead, I’ve been creating organic forms, activating the negative spaces, layering and mixing paints all while continuing to think as if the forms were communicating with each other. For a long time I was compelled to create very crisp and clean lines in my work. The "graphic designer" inside me who wants organization of elements was the prominent voice in those pieces and honestly the paintings were how I viewed the world through that 2D graphic lens. Whereas now, I'm opening myself up a bit in my composition and technique. Everything feels chaotic and my paintings are a way of exerting control in a chaotic world. This is represented by the push and pull between the graphic elements and the painterly elements in these latest works. As I have anxiety, I look to have a sense of control. Being creative in my work has allowed me to have that sense as pattern making and repetitiveness calms me down and is meditative to me. I refer to my work as "Shoot from the hip" style. Why? If you say that someone shoots from the hip, you mean that they react to situations or give their opinion very quickly, without stopping to think. My work is all improvised and I develop a piece as I create it. I tend to make the marks and think later. Even with the ceramic forms, I will look at the shape and determine what glaze to use after instead of going in with a determined vision. This way of improvised working creates a dialogue between myself and the work. I listen to my instinct, energy and emotion. There is also a sense of self in that I don’t worry about a mistake. I only react to what I see, knowing that anything can be adjusted and reacted to. To me, it is improvisation and trust that are the basis of how I create. This really allows me to enjoy what I do and fully invest myself into the work.