Masking of belonging Painting

I’m Diogo, born in Rio de Janeiro and currently living in Porto Alegre. I am a neurodivergent artist, diagnosed with autism and associated conditions, including aphantasia, as per DSM-5 and medical reports. Aphantasia is a condition that prevents me from forming mental images. My artistic journey is marked by a pursuit of sublimation—a way to express what lies beyond the reach of words or internal visuals. Unlike most artists who visualize their creations before putting them on paper or canvas, my creative process is built from a void, from what I cannot see but deeply feel. Since I do not remember myself, I also don’t recall my references, making each creation a unique journey. Aphantasia, the so-called "blind mind," makes my creation process atypical and instinctive, revealing the final work only at the end of a sublimation process, not through a preconceived vision. There is no mental image preceding the brushstrokes; instead, I rely on my sensations, the emotional response each color or shape evokes as I interact with the canvas. This intuitive method of creation connects me directly and viscerally to what I am making, turning each piece into a new and sensory experience. For me, art is more than a creative act: it is a process of internal organization, a way to give structure and form to thoughts and emotions that are often confused and scattered. As an autistic individual, I have a unique relationship with the sensory world. Hypersensitivity makes colors, textures, and shapes have singular relevance in my life, and this overflows into my artistic work. Despite the absence of mental imagery, my creations are filled with emotional and subjective meanings. My neurodivergence offers me a unique way of seeing the world, and this is reflected in my works. When I paint, I’m organizing my inner universe, transforming chaos into order, darkness into color, the abstract into meaning. Art also helps me maintain a sense of identity, something that, for a long time, was difficult to find. My life experience has always been marked by the struggle to understand myself and be understood, especially when my conditions were not recognized or taken seriously. Art emerged as a safe space where I can explore myself without the restrictions and expectations imposed by society. Each brushstroke is a response to my internal need to organize what I cannot see mentally but feel deeply.