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Epic rap battles of history! Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius! Versus! Nietzsche, Socrates, and Voltaire! Begin! I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention Rolling with the flyest nihilist And me, their French henchman We got the wisdom And the wit That even I couldn't question Dropping Western medicine On these East infections It's evident You've never been Our type of mental brethren We're better Thinkers Better speakers Better lovers Better men This type of arrogance is sure to be expected From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations We filled a nation With patience And the presence For living And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kow-tow to When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu You need to take control of the life you're given They call me Übermensch, cause I'm so driven And I'm a freethinker So confronting conformists like you? It's my job Got a sharp wit Like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebab (Oh!) You flubbed the mission I'm beating your submissive ass into submission Dishing out more disses than letters and Pamphlets and plays I've been publishing Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins I can move onto Jackie Chan Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man This seminal general isn't so tough on the mic All your men must be like, "yo, what happened?" You're pitiful lyrically Lucky for history, you didn't author the Art of Rapping Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now the Sun's out Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS Laozi, kick the beat, now Confucius, drop some bars Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire French drip with the egg noodle hair Your ego's just so distracting Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping And you killed God, so I gotta ask Did he die of shame when he made your moustache? You try to plan a new German psyche But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy And it all starts with you, you're the father, Socrates Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick Sacrebleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense Come, let's blind these Chinese Hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee Let me be frank, don't start beef with The Frank Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity You must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty Ugh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today I'll make you move, bitch, get out the way Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written That two dudes on the same team Should squabble like some clucking chickens? Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in its place Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that? I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat So here's the real golden rule, I'm way above you weak rookies Confucius say You can all hold these fortune cookies! What is winning? Who is next? You decide! Epic! Quiet! Rap battles of history! ‘Eastern Philiosphers vs Western Philosophers’ by Epic Rap Battles (ERB) Songwriters: Lloyd Leonard Ahlquist / Peter Shukoff / Dante Michael Cimadamore The Western Philosophers: Socrates: I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium. (The Acropolis of Athens is where Socrates taught. A pandemonium is a wild uproar or unrestrained disorder and a word originating from Ancient Greek. Basically, Socrates is starting the battle with an uproar.) Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium! (Symposium, in this case, has two meanings. Firstly, it is a conference-like meeting to discuss a particular topic, usually involving lectures and panels so people can learn more about certain subjects. Secondly, a symposium was a drinking party held in Ancient Greece and was also the title of a work by Plato, Socrates' most famous student. Socrates is saying that the Eastern philosophers have only brought weak lyrics to battle the Western philosophers who are assembled to "pimp slap" (backhand slap) the Eastern philosophers and educate them, like a symposium might. The second Greek usage is used as a pun and reference to Socrates coming from Greece.) The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention! (Socrates is often known as the father of philosophy. He had the habit of making people aware of their own ignorance by asking them to explain the meaning of things they thought they knew, such as justice or piety. Because of this, he was described by his student Plato as a "gadfly", annoying the placid Athenian citizens like a gadfly annoys the horses.) Nietzsche: Rolling with the flyest nihilist, (Nietzsche introduces himself. A nihilist is someone who follows nihilism, which is the belief that all religious and moral values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. Nietzsche was known to be one of these, so he calls himself the flyest one, or the most superior.) Voltaire: And me, their French henchman! (Voltaire follows by introducing himself as well. Voltaire was born in France, so he interjects by saying he's the French member of the group and, being the more optimistic, lighthearted and freethinking of the three, is humble by titling himself as a henchman of the other two.) The Western Philosophers: We've got the wisdom and the wit that even I couldn't question! (As stated above, Socrates made a habit of questioning the supposed knowledge people had. An idea often associated with him is that the wisest man is the one who's aware of his own ignorance. Here, however, he claims that not even he will question the fact that his team has wisdom and wit.) Dropping Western medicine on these East infections! (Western minds of the past made many important discoveries in medicine. The West will use their advantage in medicinal knowledge to remove the Eastern philosophers, who they claim are a disease. This is also a play on words, as a yeast infection is an illness in which the yeast Candida, normally symbiotic in the human body, goes into overgrowth and causes a range of symptoms, such as thrush and varying degrees of irritation in both genders. This may also be comparing the traditional style of Western medicine which is founded upon biological and chemical research into curing diseases scientifically and originated in Greece, while traditional Eastern medicine is based around herbs and remedies passed down through generations and comes from ancient China. The Westerners could be saying that things like Eastern medicine and philosophy are based around tradition while their Western counterparts involve actual thought.) It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren! (The Western team states that it is obvious the Eastern team isn't on the same level of intelligence as them.) We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men! (This line says the Western team is superior in every way, including philosophical thinking, giving speeches, sexual prowess, and more advanced as humans in general. The philosopher that says each quality is also significant. Nietzsche was primarily known of all things to be an incredible thinker while Socrates gave many speeches to his students and Voltaire was known for being rather suave and had frequent sex with many women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Confucius: This type of arrogance is sure to be expected (The Eastern philosophers were expecting the Western philosophers to boast as they just did. Confucius also once said, "The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." This implies a person is more in deeds than in words, and saying the Western philosophers' boasting aren't effective; the reason is explained in the next line.) From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is! (They believe the Western philosophers are disrespectful, which makes them unwise and disgraceful. Showing respect for others is an important part of Eastern culture. Confucius once said that one should respect one's ancestor; since the Eastern philosophers are older than the Western philosophers, Confucius suggests the West should respect the East, rather than dis them.) Lao Tzu: You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life. (Lao Tzu's philosophy was to have discipline in life, to follow the flow of life, and have everything balanced. He says that the Westerners are sloppy from not following this lifestyle.) You lack control of yourselves and of the mic, (As previously stated, the Western team cannot control themselves nor have balance according to the Eastern philosophers, and the same goes for when they are rapping. "Lack of mic control" in rap terms is to have bad raps. Also, one of Nietzsche's teachings was having control of your own life.) Sun Tzu: While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration! (Sun Tzu's philosophy talks about precision as an important factor during war, and they will use that tactic in the battle.) Confucius: Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations! (Honoring one's ancestors is one of the bases of Confucius' teachings. Here, he claims that his and his teammates' descendants will be proud of the fact that their ancestors won this rap battle.) The Eastern Philosophers: We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living, (The Eastern philosophers believe that they have made their nation, China, a better place with their teachings, which students in China continue to learn.) And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written! (Holding a candle to something/one is to say that nothing can ever be as good as it. The East claim that the West's influence isn't even close to the philosophy that the Eastern team has written, such as the Analects, the Tao Te Ching, and The Art of War. Additionally, while the Analects was actually written by his students, Confucius authored four of the "Five Classics", known as the Classic of Poetry, the Book of Documents, the Book of Rites, and Spring and Autumn Annals.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to ("Kautau (叩頭)" (sometimes Westernized as "kowtow") is the Chinese act of kneeling and bowing one's head so that it touches the ground in order to show deep respect and reverence; the Eastern philosophers do this at the end of their verse. Nietzsche is saying he will do something that they will have no choice but to respect, continued in the next line.) When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu! (The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff, is a book that is meant to explain the Eastern philosophy of Taoism to Western society using the characters from Winnie-the-Pooh. "Pooh" or "poo" is another term for feces, and to "shit on" someone is to diss or demoralize them. Continuing from the previous line, Nietzsche is saying he will take a shit on, or insult and demoralize, Lao Tzu.) You need to take control of the life you're given! (One of Nietzsche's teachings was based on the concept of free will or having control of your own life. In contrast, one of the primary doctrines of Taoism is the concept of wu-wei, which, in essential, teaches letting go of control and letting life take you on a natural course to achieve harmony. Nietzsche states that Lao Tzu's teachings are, in fact, invalid.) They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven! ("Übermensch", German for "beyond-human", is a concept created by Nietzsche. In his book Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra), Nietzsche describes the Übermensch as one who is driven to seek meaning in their current life, in contrast with the acceptance advocated by Taoism. This is also a pun on Uber, a company that offers car rides and would therefore make its users "driven" in a literal sense.) Voltaire: And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job! (Freethinking is a philosophical viewpoint which believes that truths should be formed on the basis of logic and reason rather than authority and conformity, a concept that was central to the Enlightenment period, during which Voltaire wrote. Voltaire himself rejected groups that supported conformity such as the Catholic Church and the French ruling class, and therefore deems himself qualified to target Confucius, who taught conformist ideas, including adherence to tradition, obedience and respect to elders and authority, and the honoring of ancestors.) Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab! (Voltaire says he will use his sharp wit, or intelligence, to impale Confucius. A spit is a rod used to stick through meat when roasting it over a fire, i.e. making shish kebabs, or sticks with meat and vegetables on them. A lyrical pun is made with Confucius' name.) (Oh!) You flubbed the mission; I'm beating your submissive ass into submission! (Confucius was ultimately unable to have the heavily fortified walls of the Ji, Meng, and Shu families in China dismantled after many years of trying. Having failed his mission, Confucius went into self-exile for 18 years and would not return until his enemy, Viscount Ji Huan, was dead. The line could be implying that Confucius simply submitted to Huan after not reaching his goal. Voltaire says that Confucius will do the same to him.) Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing! (Apart from being a philosopher, Voltaire was also a writer. He produced many works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. He wrote more than 20,000 letters and more than 2,000 books and pamphlets, meaning he will make more insults towards his opponents than the amount of his written works combined.) Socrates: Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan! (The concept of Yin-Yang is used in Confucianism (Confucius) and Taoism (Lao Tzu). This is also a reference to the rap group, the Ying Yang Twins. Sun Tzu, in this line, is compared with action star, Jackie Chan. Chan is known for his impressive and often comedic fighting style. Socrates is saying although Sun Tzu is a mighty warrior, he finds him laughable.) Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man! (Wu (武) is the Chinese word for military, or combat-related matters, which Sun Tzu was famous for discussing in his work The Art of War. In addition, he was born, and lived, in the Chinese state of Wu. He was also said to be the minister to King Helü, the ruler of Wu. Socrates says that he will criticize or "pick apart" Sun Tzu with his Socratic method, a form of discussion named after the Greek philosopher. This line is also a reference to Method Man, an American rapper who is best known as being a member of the Wu-Tang Clan. Furthermore, it may also reference Sun Tzu's birth name, which was Sun Wu.) The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?" (Sun Tzu was a Chinese military general considered to be very influential. However, Socrates says that Sun Tzu is not very good at rapping and his soldiers will be shocked by his loss.) You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping! (Socrates goes on to describe his opponent's lyrics as pitiful. The Art of War was an ancient Chinese military work written by Sun Tzu, which described many different tactics of war. Socrates mentions that it is lucky that Sun Tzu didn't write The Art of Rapping as he believes it would mislead people, as Sun Tzu is bad at rapping.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: Bitch, I wrote The Art of War, so you better get your guns out! (Sun Tzu's biggest influence is the aforementioned The Art of War, which is a book full of tactical aspects meant for battle but is applicable on daily events. He is challenging the Westerners to start a war against him knowing he'll win even if they used firearms.) These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out! (A pun on Sun Tzu's name, comparing himself to the Sun which is very hot. To be "burned" in rap aspect is to be insulted and humiliated. Sun Tzu also calls the Western philosophers "white boys", perhaps implying they can't rap. People with fairer skin are also more susceptible to sunburn.) Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS! (To spit sick is to rap very well. This is a pun on the literal definition of "sick". Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a disease that had spread throughout southern China, causing over 8,000 reported cases and 774 deaths in a nine-month span.) Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars! (Sun Tzu, a war leader, commands his team of philosophers with a one-two attack; Lao Tzu beatboxing, referencing his actor, KRNFX, who is a beatboxer, and Confucius rapping faster.) Confucius: Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire, (This is a play on the words "candid", meaning truthful, and Candide, a French satirical novel written by Voltaire.) French drip with the egg noodle hair. (On the surface level, Voltaire is French, and "drip" is a slang term for a boring, stupid, or unenergetic person. On a deeper level, Voltaire had an extreme coffee addiction, apparently drinking 50-72 cups per day. The grégue, or "French drip" is a traditional style of coffee pot originating in colonial France. The line thus also serves to mock this addiction. Finally, Confucius mocks Voltaire's looks, saying that his hair is stringy like egg noodles.) Your ego's just so distracting. (Voltaire's previous verse consisted of him talking about himself and how supposedly witty he is, which made his lines sidetracked.) Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping! (Voltaire was a man of free speech, but even as Confucius realizes this, he mentions that he should keep quiet in this battle.) And you killed God, so I gotta ask: (Nietzsche is popular for his quote, "God is dead", and how mankind killed Him as a race, so Confucius asks him a question on this in the next line.) Did he die of shame when he made your mustache? (Confucius disses Nietzsche's unique mustache, as it is big and bushy, by saying God would have died of shame because of how horrible it looks.) You tried to plant a new German psyche, (Nietzsche's main goal was to spread his ideas and philosophy to share it with his fellow Germans but he failed on doing so because it was misinterpreted and changed into the basis for Nazism.) But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy! ("Me no rikey" is a stereotypical phrase used to mock Chinese people learning English, as they often cannot pronounce the "L" sound properly. It literally means "I don't like this". Confucius makes a pun on the "Third Reich", another way of saying Nazi Germany, and the aforementioned phrase, stating that Nietzsche inspired hatred as he was an influence for Adolf Hitler. However, Nietzsche was vehemently against antisemitism, proof being letters he wrote to his sister, where he lambasted her for her backwards views on the Jews. Also, that very same sister reappropriated his work for the Nazi cause.) Sun Tzu: And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates! (Socrates is often thought of as the father of modern thought, with many philosophers following his ideals.) Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology! (Since Socrates is billed as the one who started philosophy in the West, he is also to blame for the implied failures of Nietzsche and Voltaire. This verse also references Plato's Apology, an account of Socrates' trial and how he defended himself against the charges.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe. (Plebe, or plebian, is a Greek term which refers to a poor citizen. Nietzsche is calling Socrates a poor citizen of no importance. It's worth noting that Nietzsche didn't hold Socrates' philosophy in high regard, which is why he was offended by Sun Tzu referring to him and Voltaire as Socrates' students. This line will end up being important later on.) Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi! (Chi (氣) is the Chinese word for life flow. Nietzsche is saying that he will knee Sun Tzu in his crotch. Additionally, "knee" and "chi" together form a pun on Nietzsche's name.) 'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E, (Nietzsche spells out his name as a set-up for his next line.) And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee! (Nietzsche would be a very hard word to spell in a spelling bee, due to the fact that it is pronounced as /NEET-shuh/, very different to how it is actually spelled. Nietzsche is essentially saying that anyone facing him will fail the same way they would if they had to spell out his name.) Socrates: Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip! (Socrates, now angered by Nietzsche's line in which he calls him a plebe, doesn't believe he is a plebe, claiming his raps are toxic like hemlock, a poisonous drink that was given to him during his execution and killed him with a sip.) Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick! (Socrates is referencing the practice of placing a sock or a rubber band on a door knob (typically in a college dorm setting) in order to inform others that the person inside the room is having sex, and thus to not enter. Since Socrates is from Ancient Greece and did not wear proper footwear, he uses a sandal instead of a sock. He is telling Nietzsche to ask for some privacy while simultaneously telling him to suck his dick.) Voltaire: Sacré bleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense! ("Sacré bleu" is an antiquated, stereotypical French profanity which equates to "God damn it" in English. Voltaire is saying that Socrates is making things tense by arguing with Nietzsche, his teammate.) Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment! (Continuing his attempt to cease the argument between Nietzsche and Socrates, he reminds them that they must rap battle the Eastern philosophers, Voltaire makes a series of puns using the vocabulary of enlightenment in reference to the Enlightened (les Lumières in French), the name of Voltaire's movement of philosophers, whose motto was to "enlighten the people with logic and knowledge".) Socrates: I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery! (Voltaire exploited a monthly Paris lottery, organizing a group to collect every ticket in the city. By the time his tricks were discovered, he had amassed 1 million francs. "Frog" is a slang term for a French person, usually used in a derogatory manner. Socrates is saying that someone who cheated should not be telling others how to get along.) You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee! (Voltaire is known for his large nose and having an addiction to coffee. Socrates is saying that he should go back to drinking coffee, as he has no place in telling him what to do. This also references that Socrates taught and contributed extensively on the study of ethics. As such, he takes Voltaire's illegal behavior as a personal offense.) Voltaire: Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank, (The adjective "frank" means direct and honest, thus Voltaire is saying that he'll sum up quickly and sincerely why Socrates and Nietzsche should not challenge him. "Frank" is also a nickname for "François", Voltaire's real first name. Further, Voltaire is French and "Frank" was a nickname for a Frenchmen among the English. By referring to himself as the Frank, he is elevating himself above all Frenchmen, and even above the other philosophers in claiming himself to be an icon, the greatest of an entire nation, which they are not. Voltaire is making a pun off of this by telling Socrates that, in all honesty, he should not be picking a fight with him.) Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks! (Voltaire was a friend of Ben Franklin. Beef franks, short for "beef frankfurters", are soft sausages or hot dogs. As "sausage" can be an euphemism for "penis", Voltaire is saying that he has sex with a lot of women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity! (Sun Tzu references one of the quotes in The Art of War: "In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity". As an experienced general and tactician, Sun Tzu managed to exploit his opponents' weakness and cause them to fight among themselves. He claims this will give his team an advantage, i.e. an opportunity to win the battle. In the battle, he also snuck up on the Western philosophers fighting, referencing the fact that he valued the use of espionage to help win wars and dedicated an entire chapter of his book to it.) Lao Tzu: We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty. (Lao Tzu references one of his famous quotes: "Mold clay to form a bowl; it is the empty space which makes the bowl useful", suggesting that the convenient opportunity they have been given to strike against their quarreling opponents is very helpful. During this line in the video, Confucius can also be seen showing respect by nodding his head, since Confucius was Lao Tzu's student in real life.) Sun Tzu: (Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, (Sun Tzu doesn't mean to insult Lao Tzu, as the Eastern Philosophers had previously cited the importance of respect. However…) But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense! (…Sun counters Lao's former line, saying that to make better use of said bowl is to fill it with better logic as an empty bowl being useful doesn't make sense to Sun Tzu. It is also a play on words that Lao is full of bull (bowl) shit.) Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. (Lao Tzu is telling Sun Tzu not to attack his philosophy. The Tao is referred to as a path in Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, as Tao (道) also means a road in Chinese. In Taoism, it also mentions that you should go with the flow but this time…) I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way! (…he will move Sun Tzu instead of letting things be. Lao Tzu also tells Sun Tzu to step off by making a direct reference to Move Bitch (Get Out the Way), a song by Ludacris. He also references the book that he wrote titled, Tao Te Ching or The Way of Life.) Confucius: Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written (Confucius rhetorically asks about the structure of rap battles and how…) That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens? (…teammates in rap battles shouldn't be battling each other, comparing it to chickens squabbling. Confucius refers to the term as tradition, as the one of him teaching is about following the tradition and ritual, or li (禮). As stated in the Analects by Confucius, the quote "In the application of the rites, harmony is to be prized" implies one should not argue over small things. Furthermore, Confucius also wrote a book titled the Book of Rites, which is a compiled collection of texts describing social forms, administration, and ceremonial rites.) Sun Tzu: Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place. (To "put someone/thing in its place" means to make them more humble or less arrogant. Confucius taught the propriety of social relationships, emphasizing that one must act accordingly to his or her position in society and life. An example of this comes from one of his quotes, "Let the king be a king, the minister a minister, the father a father and the son a son". He also had considerable political power and influence. Sun Tzu is telling Confucius that he has control issues, but if he wishes to control things so badly…) Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? (…then he should start by getting his eyebrows under control. Confucius is known for having large eyebrows in sketches and portraits that droop down the side of his face.) Confucius: Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that? (Confucius understands that Sun Tzu is looking for a fight and he's willing to give him one.) I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat! (A warmonger is a person who advocates war, as Sun Tzu's teaching indirectly lead to a lot of war in later times. In some Western countries, Chinese restaurants offer Chinese takeout which are usually served in a special takeout box. Confucius mocks Sun Tzu's hat by saying that it looks like a Chinese takeout box and he also says that he will smack him so hard that his hat will fall off; in addition, he says Sun Tzu is a warmonger, which is often seen as being barbaric.) So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies! (Confucius came up with the Golden Rule (恕道), which states, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". What Confucius says here is that Sun Tzu should not dis him, as now Confucius disses him back. Also, both Confucius and Lao Tzu had come up with the Golden Rule in their respective philosophy, Confucianism and Taoism. Here, he claims that the actual golden rule is that he is the better of both Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu, and that Lao Tzu's Golden Rule is wrong.) Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies! (Confucius Says is a meme (also called Wise Confucius) referring to the way that Confucius speaks in his writings. At first glance, the upper half of the image impersonates Confucius giving sage advice, but the lower half reveals it to be the set up of a pun. "Holding fortune cookies" means everyone in the battle can hold Confucius's balls, mainly because they're lower than him. Fortune cookies are assumed by many to be Chinese but they were actually created in Kyoto, Japan.) Source: ERBH Wiki Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) is a YouTube web series and music project created by Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff and Lloyd "EpicLLOYD" Ahlquist. The series pits historical and pop culture figures against one another in a rap battle format. The characters portrayed are often determined by suggestions from viewers in the comments sections of the channel's videos. Shukoff and Ahlquist write each song themselves, researching the subject in order to find obscure details to use as references in the lyrics. As of August 2, 2020, the channel has over 14.6 million subscribers and approximately 3.527 billion total video views. Following an extended hiatus, the channel returned with a bonus battle in December 2018, and the sixth season debuted on April 20, 2019. Although early episodes of the series featured only Shukoff and Ahlquist, later episodes have regularly featured guest appearances, and other internet celebrities such as Dan Bull, Lisa Donovan, Timothy DeLaGhetto, George Watsky, DeStorm Power, Jesse Wellens, PewDiePie, Jenna Marbles, Lilly Singh, Ray William Johnson, Rhett and Link, and Smosh. Media celebrities like rappers Snoop Dogg, Chali 2na, and T-Pain, singers Jackie Tohn and "Weird Al" Yankovic, actors J.B. Smoove and Gary Anthony Williams, and the comedy duo Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have also appeared in the series. On July 3, 2013, "Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney" became the first of its singles to be certified Gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in the United States. 10 other singles, "Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader", "Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking", "Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare", "Master Chief vs. Leonidas", "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates", "Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig van Beethoven", "Mario Brothers vs. Wright Brothers", "Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers", "Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris", and "Hitler vs. Vader 2", were subsequently certified Gold as well. The idea for historical figures rapping against each other was conceived by Ahlquist, who pitched the idea to Shukoff as an improvised show titled "Check OneTwo"; both were working in improv at the time along with Zach Sherwin, who would later become a regular guest on the series. They were met with high levels of difficulty at first and decided that the concept would fare much better as a YouTube series than an improv show The first three rap battles were each shot on a $50 budget. Before the web series existed on YouTube, Shukoff and Ahlquist recorded their first song, which was a battle between Child's Play antagonist Chucky and actor Michael J. Fox. The song was freestyle and poorly made; as a result, it was not released to the public. On September 26, 2010, the first rap battle was uploaded to YouTube, featuring Shukoff as John Lennon and Ahlquist as Bill O'Reilly. The 15th episode, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD", marked the end of the first season. This battle pitted Ahlquist and Shukoff against each other with cameos from all of the characters they had played over the 14 prior episodes. At the end of the battle, KassemGarrives and convinces Peter and Lloyd to continue the battles on their own channel. Epic Rap Battles of History later returned on December 8, 2011, hosted on their new channel (moving from Shukoff's personal channel), ERB, with behind-the-scenes videos on their second channel, ERB2. Shukoff and Maker Studios also created the official website for the series, where fans could vote on winners for each video, and read short comical autobiographies by each character. On September 27, 2012, following a four-month pause after the "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates" episode, a video was released on the series' YouTube channel where Ahlquist (voicing to an animation of Theodore Roosevelt) announced that new episodes would be released every two weeks until the Christmas holidays, starting with the 22nd episode "Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury" (aired on October 1, 2012). "Moses vs. Santa Claus", aired on December 10, 2012, was the last battle before taking a break for the holidays. On February 17, 2013, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for five Streamy Awards, winning four of them. Shukoff and Ahlquist also performed part of the Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates battle live. On September 9, 2013, ERB uploaded a trailer video on their channel announcing that Epic Rap Battles of History would return on October 7, 2013 for a third season. On October 14, ERB released a second video with Ahlquist voicing Theodore Roosevelt, who announced the upcoming season's schedule. The third season went on hiatus after the release of "Donald Trump vs. Ebenezer Scrooge" on December 19, 2013. In March 2014, an episode of Shukoff's weekly show The Monday Show, published on March 11, and a third announcement video of Epic Rap Battles of History News, published on March 18, confirmed that Season 3 would continue on May 5, 2014. "Weird" Al Yankovic, Smosh, and Rhett and Link were also confirmed as guest appearances. The third season concluded with the release of "Artists vs. TMNT" on July 14, 2014, where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles battled their European renaissance artist namesakes. On September 30, 2014, a teaser video for the fourth season of Epic Rap Battles of History, featuring the Ghostbusters and MythBusters, was released; the series returned on November 10, 2014 with its 46th episode, "Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters". This season also marked the first animated battle: "Zeus vs Thor", which was animated entirely with Lego bricks and minifigures; Forrest Whaley served as animation director. On December 15, 2014, when "Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock" was released, the fourth season went on hiatus. The season continued on May 25, 2015 and concluded with the release of the season finale, "Jim Henson vs. Stan Lee", on August 3, 2015. It was confirmed in a podcast by Shukoff that there would be a fifth season, with pre-production starting in November 2015 once they came back from the world tour. On December 16, the first off-season battle was released, entitled, "Deadpool vs. Boba Fett." On February 26, 2016, it was announced that Season 5 would begin on May 2, 2016, and on March 22 it was announced that production had begun. Season 5 officially began on May 2, 2016, with the release of the first battle of the season, "George R. R. Martin vs. J. R. R. Tolkien". ERB released battles every other Monday as of the first half of Season 5. On July 12, 2016, "Alexander the Great vs. Ivan the Terrible" was released. This marked the midseason break. Ahlquist later confirmed they were planning to return mid to late October. Filming began for the second half of Season 5 on September 23. On October 26, Season 5 resumed with "Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton". The final episode of Season 5, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2" was released on January 9, 2017, where Ahlquist and Shukoff battle against each other once again, as it is a sequel to the Season 1 finale. Following the fifth season, ERB went on an extended hiatus. In 2016, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for an Emmy Award in the newly initiated category Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Short Form Variety Series at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards. In 2018, Shukoff announced there would be a sixth season during a performance at Anime Midwest. On November 30, 2018, a video was posted on the official ERB YouTube channel, confirming that Season 6 will premiere in 2019. A "bonus battle" between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg was released on December 7, 2018. In December 2018, Ahlquist said that they had gone "fully independent" of their production company. On April 20, 2019, the Season 6 premiere ("Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine") was released. ERB once again went on hiatus in December, after "Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer". After a 10 month hiatus, ERB returned, with their third election rap battle, "Donald Trump vs Joe Biden". On December 5, 2020, Ahlquist stated in a Behind The Scenes video for their next battle, "Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker" (their second Lego-animated collaboration with Forrest Whaley), that as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, ERB would be transitioning from Season 6 to Season 7 earlier than expected, rather than further postpone Season 6. Several planned battles and concepts will be holdovers from Season 6. Source: Wikipedia
Epic rap battles of history! Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius! Versus! Nietzsche, Socrates, and Voltaire! Begin! I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention Rolling with the flyest nihilist And me, their French henchman We got the wisdom And the wit That even I couldn't question Dropping Western medicine On these East infections It's evident You've never been Our type of mental brethren We're better Thinkers Better speakers Better lovers Better men This type of arrogance is sure to be expected From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations We filled a nation With patience And the presence For living And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kow-tow to When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu You need to take control of the life you're given They call me Übermensch, cause I'm so driven And I'm a freethinker So confronting conformists like you? It's my job Got a sharp wit Like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebab (Oh!) You flubbed the mission I'm beating your submissive ass into submission Dishing out more disses than letters and Pamphlets and plays I've been publishing Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins I can move onto Jackie Chan Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man This seminal general isn't so tough on the mic All your men must be like, "yo, what happened?" You're pitiful lyrically Lucky for history, you didn't author the Art of Rapping Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now the Sun's out Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS Laozi, kick the beat, now Confucius, drop some bars Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire French drip with the egg noodle hair Your ego's just so distracting Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping And you killed God, so I gotta ask Did he die of shame when he made your moustache? You try to plan a new German psyche But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy And it all starts with you, you're the father, Socrates Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick Sacrebleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense Come, let's blind these Chinese Hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee Let me be frank, don't start beef with The Frank Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity You must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty Ugh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today I'll make you move, bitch, get out the way Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written That two dudes on the same team Should squabble like some clucking chickens? Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in its place Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that? I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat So here's the real golden rule, I'm way above you weak rookies Confucius say You can all hold these fortune cookies! What is winning? Who is next? You decide! Epic! Quiet! Rap battles of history! ‘Eastern Philiosphers vs Western Philosophers’ by Epic Rap Battles (ERB) Songwriters: Lloyd Leonard Ahlquist / Peter Shukoff / Dante Michael Cimadamore The Western Philosophers: Socrates: I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium. (The Acropolis of Athens is where Socrates taught. A pandemonium is a wild uproar or unrestrained disorder and a word originating from Ancient Greek. Basically, Socrates is starting the battle with an uproar.) Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium! (Symposium, in this case, has two meanings. Firstly, it is a conference-like meeting to discuss a particular topic, usually involving lectures and panels so people can learn more about certain subjects. Secondly, a symposium was a drinking party held in Ancient Greece and was also the title of a work by Plato, Socrates' most famous student. Socrates is saying that the Eastern philosophers have only brought weak lyrics to battle the Western philosophers who are assembled to "pimp slap" (backhand slap) the Eastern philosophers and educate them, like a symposium might. The second Greek usage is used as a pun and reference to Socrates coming from Greece.) The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention! (Socrates is often known as the father of philosophy. He had the habit of making people aware of their own ignorance by asking them to explain the meaning of things they thought they knew, such as justice or piety. Because of this, he was described by his student Plato as a "gadfly", annoying the placid Athenian citizens like a gadfly annoys the horses.) Nietzsche: Rolling with the flyest nihilist, (Nietzsche introduces himself. A nihilist is someone who follows nihilism, which is the belief that all religious and moral values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. Nietzsche was known to be one of these, so he calls himself the flyest one, or the most superior.) Voltaire: And me, their French henchman! (Voltaire follows by introducing himself as well. Voltaire was born in France, so he interjects by saying he's the French member of the group and, being the more optimistic, lighthearted and freethinking of the three, is humble by titling himself as a henchman of the other two.) The Western Philosophers: We've got the wisdom and the wit that even I couldn't question! (As stated above, Socrates made a habit of questioning the supposed knowledge people had. An idea often associated with him is that the wisest man is the one who's aware of his own ignorance. Here, however, he claims that not even he will question the fact that his team has wisdom and wit.) Dropping Western medicine on these East infections! (Western minds of the past made many important discoveries in medicine. The West will use their advantage in medicinal knowledge to remove the Eastern philosophers, who they claim are a disease. This is also a play on words, as a yeast infection is an illness in which the yeast Candida, normally symbiotic in the human body, goes into overgrowth and causes a range of symptoms, such as thrush and varying degrees of irritation in both genders. This may also be comparing the traditional style of Western medicine which is founded upon biological and chemical research into curing diseases scientifically and originated in Greece, while traditional Eastern medicine is based around herbs and remedies passed down through generations and comes from ancient China. The Westerners could be saying that things like Eastern medicine and philosophy are based around tradition while their Western counterparts involve actual thought.) It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren! (The Western team states that it is obvious the Eastern team isn't on the same level of intelligence as them.) We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men! (This line says the Western team is superior in every way, including philosophical thinking, giving speeches, sexual prowess, and more advanced as humans in general. The philosopher that says each quality is also significant. Nietzsche was primarily known of all things to be an incredible thinker while Socrates gave many speeches to his students and Voltaire was known for being rather suave and had frequent sex with many women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Confucius: This type of arrogance is sure to be expected (The Eastern philosophers were expecting the Western philosophers to boast as they just did. Confucius also once said, "The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." This implies a person is more in deeds than in words, and saying the Western philosophers' boasting aren't effective; the reason is explained in the next line.) From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is! (They believe the Western philosophers are disrespectful, which makes them unwise and disgraceful. Showing respect for others is an important part of Eastern culture. Confucius once said that one should respect one's ancestor; since the Eastern philosophers are older than the Western philosophers, Confucius suggests the West should respect the East, rather than dis them.) Lao Tzu: You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life. (Lao Tzu's philosophy was to have discipline in life, to follow the flow of life, and have everything balanced. He says that the Westerners are sloppy from not following this lifestyle.) You lack control of yourselves and of the mic, (As previously stated, the Western team cannot control themselves nor have balance according to the Eastern philosophers, and the same goes for when they are rapping. "Lack of mic control" in rap terms is to have bad raps. Also, one of Nietzsche's teachings was having control of your own life.) Sun Tzu: While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration! (Sun Tzu's philosophy talks about precision as an important factor during war, and they will use that tactic in the battle.) Confucius: Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations! (Honoring one's ancestors is one of the bases of Confucius' teachings. Here, he claims that his and his teammates' descendants will be proud of the fact that their ancestors won this rap battle.) The Eastern Philosophers: We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living, (The Eastern philosophers believe that they have made their nation, China, a better place with their teachings, which students in China continue to learn.) And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written! (Holding a candle to something/one is to say that nothing can ever be as good as it. The East claim that the West's influence isn't even close to the philosophy that the Eastern team has written, such as the Analects, the Tao Te Ching, and The Art of War. Additionally, while the Analects was actually written by his students, Confucius authored four of the "Five Classics", known as the Classic of Poetry, the Book of Documents, the Book of Rites, and Spring and Autumn Annals.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to ("Kautau (叩頭)" (sometimes Westernized as "kowtow") is the Chinese act of kneeling and bowing one's head so that it touches the ground in order to show deep respect and reverence; the Eastern philosophers do this at the end of their verse. Nietzsche is saying he will do something that they will have no choice but to respect, continued in the next line.) When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu! (The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff, is a book that is meant to explain the Eastern philosophy of Taoism to Western society using the characters from Winnie-the-Pooh. "Pooh" or "poo" is another term for feces, and to "shit on" someone is to diss or demoralize them. Continuing from the previous line, Nietzsche is saying he will take a shit on, or insult and demoralize, Lao Tzu.) You need to take control of the life you're given! (One of Nietzsche's teachings was based on the concept of free will or having control of your own life. In contrast, one of the primary doctrines of Taoism is the concept of wu-wei, which, in essential, teaches letting go of control and letting life take you on a natural course to achieve harmony. Nietzsche states that Lao Tzu's teachings are, in fact, invalid.) They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven! ("Übermensch", German for "beyond-human", is a concept created by Nietzsche. In his book Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra), Nietzsche describes the Übermensch as one who is driven to seek meaning in their current life, in contrast with the acceptance advocated by Taoism. This is also a pun on Uber, a company that offers car rides and would therefore make its users "driven" in a literal sense.) Voltaire: And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job! (Freethinking is a philosophical viewpoint which believes that truths should be formed on the basis of logic and reason rather than authority and conformity, a concept that was central to the Enlightenment period, during which Voltaire wrote. Voltaire himself rejected groups that supported conformity such as the Catholic Church and the French ruling class, and therefore deems himself qualified to target Confucius, who taught conformist ideas, including adherence to tradition, obedience and respect to elders and authority, and the honoring of ancestors.) Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab! (Voltaire says he will use his sharp wit, or intelligence, to impale Confucius. A spit is a rod used to stick through meat when roasting it over a fire, i.e. making shish kebabs, or sticks with meat and vegetables on them. A lyrical pun is made with Confucius' name.) (Oh!) You flubbed the mission; I'm beating your submissive ass into submission! (Confucius was ultimately unable to have the heavily fortified walls of the Ji, Meng, and Shu families in China dismantled after many years of trying. Having failed his mission, Confucius went into self-exile for 18 years and would not return until his enemy, Viscount Ji Huan, was dead. The line could be implying that Confucius simply submitted to Huan after not reaching his goal. Voltaire says that Confucius will do the same to him.) Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing! (Apart from being a philosopher, Voltaire was also a writer. He produced many works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. He wrote more than 20,000 letters and more than 2,000 books and pamphlets, meaning he will make more insults towards his opponents than the amount of his written works combined.) Socrates: Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan! (The concept of Yin-Yang is used in Confucianism (Confucius) and Taoism (Lao Tzu). This is also a reference to the rap group, the Ying Yang Twins. Sun Tzu, in this line, is compared with action star, Jackie Chan. Chan is known for his impressive and often comedic fighting style. Socrates is saying although Sun Tzu is a mighty warrior, he finds him laughable.) Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man! (Wu (武) is the Chinese word for military, or combat-related matters, which Sun Tzu was famous for discussing in his work The Art of War. In addition, he was born, and lived, in the Chinese state of Wu. He was also said to be the minister to King Helü, the ruler of Wu. Socrates says that he will criticize or "pick apart" Sun Tzu with his Socratic method, a form of discussion named after the Greek philosopher. This line is also a reference to Method Man, an American rapper who is best known as being a member of the Wu-Tang Clan. Furthermore, it may also reference Sun Tzu's birth name, which was Sun Wu.) The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?" (Sun Tzu was a Chinese military general considered to be very influential. However, Socrates says that Sun Tzu is not very good at rapping and his soldiers will be shocked by his loss.) You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping! (Socrates goes on to describe his opponent's lyrics as pitiful. The Art of War was an ancient Chinese military work written by Sun Tzu, which described many different tactics of war. Socrates mentions that it is lucky that Sun Tzu didn't write The Art of Rapping as he believes it would mislead people, as Sun Tzu is bad at rapping.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: Bitch, I wrote The Art of War, so you better get your guns out! (Sun Tzu's biggest influence is the aforementioned The Art of War, which is a book full of tactical aspects meant for battle but is applicable on daily events. He is challenging the Westerners to start a war against him knowing he'll win even if they used firearms.) These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out! (A pun on Sun Tzu's name, comparing himself to the Sun which is very hot. To be "burned" in rap aspect is to be insulted and humiliated. Sun Tzu also calls the Western philosophers "white boys", perhaps implying they can't rap. People with fairer skin are also more susceptible to sunburn.) Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS! (To spit sick is to rap very well. This is a pun on the literal definition of "sick". Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a disease that had spread throughout southern China, causing over 8,000 reported cases and 774 deaths in a nine-month span.) Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars! (Sun Tzu, a war leader, commands his team of philosophers with a one-two attack; Lao Tzu beatboxing, referencing his actor, KRNFX, who is a beatboxer, and Confucius rapping faster.) Confucius: Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire, (This is a play on the words "candid", meaning truthful, and Candide, a French satirical novel written by Voltaire.) French drip with the egg noodle hair. (On the surface level, Voltaire is French, and "drip" is a slang term for a boring, stupid, or unenergetic person. On a deeper level, Voltaire had an extreme coffee addiction, apparently drinking 50-72 cups per day. The grégue, or "French drip" is a traditional style of coffee pot originating in colonial France. The line thus also serves to mock this addiction. Finally, Confucius mocks Voltaire's looks, saying that his hair is stringy like egg noodles.) Your ego's just so distracting. (Voltaire's previous verse consisted of him talking about himself and how supposedly witty he is, which made his lines sidetracked.) Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping! (Voltaire was a man of free speech, but even as Confucius realizes this, he mentions that he should keep quiet in this battle.) And you killed God, so I gotta ask: (Nietzsche is popular for his quote, "God is dead", and how mankind killed Him as a race, so Confucius asks him a question on this in the next line.) Did he die of shame when he made your mustache? (Confucius disses Nietzsche's unique mustache, as it is big and bushy, by saying God would have died of shame because of how horrible it looks.) You tried to plant a new German psyche, (Nietzsche's main goal was to spread his ideas and philosophy to share it with his fellow Germans but he failed on doing so because it was misinterpreted and changed into the basis for Nazism.) But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy! ("Me no rikey" is a stereotypical phrase used to mock Chinese people learning English, as they often cannot pronounce the "L" sound properly. It literally means "I don't like this". Confucius makes a pun on the "Third Reich", another way of saying Nazi Germany, and the aforementioned phrase, stating that Nietzsche inspired hatred as he was an influence for Adolf Hitler. However, Nietzsche was vehemently against antisemitism, proof being letters he wrote to his sister, where he lambasted her for her backwards views on the Jews. Also, that very same sister reappropriated his work for the Nazi cause.) Sun Tzu: And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates! (Socrates is often thought of as the father of modern thought, with many philosophers following his ideals.) Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology! (Since Socrates is billed as the one who started philosophy in the West, he is also to blame for the implied failures of Nietzsche and Voltaire. This verse also references Plato's Apology, an account of Socrates' trial and how he defended himself against the charges.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe. (Plebe, or plebian, is a Greek term which refers to a poor citizen. Nietzsche is calling Socrates a poor citizen of no importance. It's worth noting that Nietzsche didn't hold Socrates' philosophy in high regard, which is why he was offended by Sun Tzu referring to him and Voltaire as Socrates' students. This line will end up being important later on.) Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi! (Chi (氣) is the Chinese word for life flow. Nietzsche is saying that he will knee Sun Tzu in his crotch. Additionally, "knee" and "chi" together form a pun on Nietzsche's name.) 'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E, (Nietzsche spells out his name as a set-up for his next line.) And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee! (Nietzsche would be a very hard word to spell in a spelling bee, due to the fact that it is pronounced as /NEET-shuh/, very different to how it is actually spelled. Nietzsche is essentially saying that anyone facing him will fail the same way they would if they had to spell out his name.) Socrates: Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip! (Socrates, now angered by Nietzsche's line in which he calls him a plebe, doesn't believe he is a plebe, claiming his raps are toxic like hemlock, a poisonous drink that was given to him during his execution and killed him with a sip.) Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick! (Socrates is referencing the practice of placing a sock or a rubber band on a door knob (typically in a college dorm setting) in order to inform others that the person inside the room is having sex, and thus to not enter. Since Socrates is from Ancient Greece and did not wear proper footwear, he uses a sandal instead of a sock. He is telling Nietzsche to ask for some privacy while simultaneously telling him to suck his dick.) Voltaire: Sacré bleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense! ("Sacré bleu" is an antiquated, stereotypical French profanity which equates to "God damn it" in English. Voltaire is saying that Socrates is making things tense by arguing with Nietzsche, his teammate.) Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment! (Continuing his attempt to cease the argument between Nietzsche and Socrates, he reminds them that they must rap battle the Eastern philosophers, Voltaire makes a series of puns using the vocabulary of enlightenment in reference to the Enlightened (les Lumières in French), the name of Voltaire's movement of philosophers, whose motto was to "enlighten the people with logic and knowledge".) Socrates: I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery! (Voltaire exploited a monthly Paris lottery, organizing a group to collect every ticket in the city. By the time his tricks were discovered, he had amassed 1 million francs. "Frog" is a slang term for a French person, usually used in a derogatory manner. Socrates is saying that someone who cheated should not be telling others how to get along.) You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee! (Voltaire is known for his large nose and having an addiction to coffee. Socrates is saying that he should go back to drinking coffee, as he has no place in telling him what to do. This also references that Socrates taught and contributed extensively on the study of ethics. As such, he takes Voltaire's illegal behavior as a personal offense.) Voltaire: Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank, (The adjective "frank" means direct and honest, thus Voltaire is saying that he'll sum up quickly and sincerely why Socrates and Nietzsche should not challenge him. "Frank" is also a nickname for "François", Voltaire's real first name. Further, Voltaire is French and "Frank" was a nickname for a Frenchmen among the English. By referring to himself as the Frank, he is elevating himself above all Frenchmen, and even above the other philosophers in claiming himself to be an icon, the greatest of an entire nation, which they are not. Voltaire is making a pun off of this by telling Socrates that, in all honesty, he should not be picking a fight with him.) Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks! (Voltaire was a friend of Ben Franklin. Beef franks, short for "beef frankfurters", are soft sausages or hot dogs. As "sausage" can be an euphemism for "penis", Voltaire is saying that he has sex with a lot of women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity! (Sun Tzu references one of the quotes in The Art of War: "In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity". As an experienced general and tactician, Sun Tzu managed to exploit his opponents' weakness and cause them to fight among themselves. He claims this will give his team an advantage, i.e. an opportunity to win the battle. In the battle, he also snuck up on the Western philosophers fighting, referencing the fact that he valued the use of espionage to help win wars and dedicated an entire chapter of his book to it.) Lao Tzu: We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty. (Lao Tzu references one of his famous quotes: "Mold clay to form a bowl; it is the empty space which makes the bowl useful", suggesting that the convenient opportunity they have been given to strike against their quarreling opponents is very helpful. During this line in the video, Confucius can also be seen showing respect by nodding his head, since Confucius was Lao Tzu's student in real life.) Sun Tzu: (Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, (Sun Tzu doesn't mean to insult Lao Tzu, as the Eastern Philosophers had previously cited the importance of respect. However…) But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense! (…Sun counters Lao's former line, saying that to make better use of said bowl is to fill it with better logic as an empty bowl being useful doesn't make sense to Sun Tzu. It is also a play on words that Lao is full of bull (bowl) shit.) Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. (Lao Tzu is telling Sun Tzu not to attack his philosophy. The Tao is referred to as a path in Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, as Tao (道) also means a road in Chinese. In Taoism, it also mentions that you should go with the flow but this time…) I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way! (…he will move Sun Tzu instead of letting things be. Lao Tzu also tells Sun Tzu to step off by making a direct reference to Move Bitch (Get Out the Way), a song by Ludacris. He also references the book that he wrote titled, Tao Te Ching or The Way of Life.) Confucius: Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written (Confucius rhetorically asks about the structure of rap battles and how…) That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens? (…teammates in rap battles shouldn't be battling each other, comparing it to chickens squabbling. Confucius refers to the term as tradition, as the one of him teaching is about following the tradition and ritual, or li (禮). As stated in the Analects by Confucius, the quote "In the application of the rites, harmony is to be prized" implies one should not argue over small things. Furthermore, Confucius also wrote a book titled the Book of Rites, which is a compiled collection of texts describing social forms, administration, and ceremonial rites.) Sun Tzu: Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place. (To "put someone/thing in its place" means to make them more humble or less arrogant. Confucius taught the propriety of social relationships, emphasizing that one must act accordingly to his or her position in society and life. An example of this comes from one of his quotes, "Let the king be a king, the minister a minister, the father a father and the son a son". He also had considerable political power and influence. Sun Tzu is telling Confucius that he has control issues, but if he wishes to control things so badly…) Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? (…then he should start by getting his eyebrows under control. Confucius is known for having large eyebrows in sketches and portraits that droop down the side of his face.) Confucius: Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that? (Confucius understands that Sun Tzu is looking for a fight and he's willing to give him one.) I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat! (A warmonger is a person who advocates war, as Sun Tzu's teaching indirectly lead to a lot of war in later times. In some Western countries, Chinese restaurants offer Chinese takeout which are usually served in a special takeout box. Confucius mocks Sun Tzu's hat by saying that it looks like a Chinese takeout box and he also says that he will smack him so hard that his hat will fall off; in addition, he says Sun Tzu is a warmonger, which is often seen as being barbaric.) So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies! (Confucius came up with the Golden Rule (恕道), which states, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". What Confucius says here is that Sun Tzu should not dis him, as now Confucius disses him back. Also, both Confucius and Lao Tzu had come up with the Golden Rule in their respective philosophy, Confucianism and Taoism. Here, he claims that the actual golden rule is that he is the better of both Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu, and that Lao Tzu's Golden Rule is wrong.) Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies! (Confucius Says is a meme (also called Wise Confucius) referring to the way that Confucius speaks in his writings. At first glance, the upper half of the image impersonates Confucius giving sage advice, but the lower half reveals it to be the set up of a pun. "Holding fortune cookies" means everyone in the battle can hold Confucius's balls, mainly because they're lower than him. Fortune cookies are assumed by many to be Chinese but they were actually created in Kyoto, Japan.) Source: ERBH Wiki Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) is a YouTube web series and music project created by Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff and Lloyd "EpicLLOYD" Ahlquist. The series pits historical and pop culture figures against one another in a rap battle format. The characters portrayed are often determined by suggestions from viewers in the comments sections of the channel's videos. Shukoff and Ahlquist write each song themselves, researching the subject in order to find obscure details to use as references in the lyrics. As of August 2, 2020, the channel has over 14.6 million subscribers and approximately 3.527 billion total video views. Following an extended hiatus, the channel returned with a bonus battle in December 2018, and the sixth season debuted on April 20, 2019. Although early episodes of the series featured only Shukoff and Ahlquist, later episodes have regularly featured guest appearances, and other internet celebrities such as Dan Bull, Lisa Donovan, Timothy DeLaGhetto, George Watsky, DeStorm Power, Jesse Wellens, PewDiePie, Jenna Marbles, Lilly Singh, Ray William Johnson, Rhett and Link, and Smosh. Media celebrities like rappers Snoop Dogg, Chali 2na, and T-Pain, singers Jackie Tohn and "Weird Al" Yankovic, actors J.B. Smoove and Gary Anthony Williams, and the comedy duo Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have also appeared in the series. On July 3, 2013, "Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney" became the first of its singles to be certified Gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in the United States. 10 other singles, "Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader", "Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking", "Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare", "Master Chief vs. Leonidas", "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates", "Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig van Beethoven", "Mario Brothers vs. Wright Brothers", "Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers", "Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris", and "Hitler vs. Vader 2", were subsequently certified Gold as well. The idea for historical figures rapping against each other was conceived by Ahlquist, who pitched the idea to Shukoff as an improvised show titled "Check OneTwo"; both were working in improv at the time along with Zach Sherwin, who would later become a regular guest on the series. They were met with high levels of difficulty at first and decided that the concept would fare much better as a YouTube series than an improv show The first three rap battles were each shot on a $50 budget. Before the web series existed on YouTube, Shukoff and Ahlquist recorded their first song, which was a battle between Child's Play antagonist Chucky and actor Michael J. Fox. The song was freestyle and poorly made; as a result, it was not released to the public. On September 26, 2010, the first rap battle was uploaded to YouTube, featuring Shukoff as John Lennon and Ahlquist as Bill O'Reilly. The 15th episode, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD", marked the end of the first season. This battle pitted Ahlquist and Shukoff against each other with cameos from all of the characters they had played over the 14 prior episodes. At the end of the battle, KassemGarrives and convinces Peter and Lloyd to continue the battles on their own channel. Epic Rap Battles of History later returned on December 8, 2011, hosted on their new channel (moving from Shukoff's personal channel), ERB, with behind-the-scenes videos on their second channel, ERB2. Shukoff and Maker Studios also created the official website for the series, where fans could vote on winners for each video, and read short comical autobiographies by each character. On September 27, 2012, following a four-month pause after the "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates" episode, a video was released on the series' YouTube channel where Ahlquist (voicing to an animation of Theodore Roosevelt) announced that new episodes would be released every two weeks until the Christmas holidays, starting with the 22nd episode "Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury" (aired on October 1, 2012). "Moses vs. Santa Claus", aired on December 10, 2012, was the last battle before taking a break for the holidays. On February 17, 2013, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for five Streamy Awards, winning four of them. Shukoff and Ahlquist also performed part of the Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates battle live. On September 9, 2013, ERB uploaded a trailer video on their channel announcing that Epic Rap Battles of History would return on October 7, 2013 for a third season. On October 14, ERB released a second video with Ahlquist voicing Theodore Roosevelt, who announced the upcoming season's schedule. The third season went on hiatus after the release of "Donald Trump vs. Ebenezer Scrooge" on December 19, 2013. In March 2014, an episode of Shukoff's weekly show The Monday Show, published on March 11, and a third announcement video of Epic Rap Battles of History News, published on March 18, confirmed that Season 3 would continue on May 5, 2014. "Weird" Al Yankovic, Smosh, and Rhett and Link were also confirmed as guest appearances. The third season concluded with the release of "Artists vs. TMNT" on July 14, 2014, where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles battled their European renaissance artist namesakes. On September 30, 2014, a teaser video for the fourth season of Epic Rap Battles of History, featuring the Ghostbusters and MythBusters, was released; the series returned on November 10, 2014 with its 46th episode, "Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters". This season also marked the first animated battle: "Zeus vs Thor", which was animated entirely with Lego bricks and minifigures; Forrest Whaley served as animation director. On December 15, 2014, when "Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock" was released, the fourth season went on hiatus. The season continued on May 25, 2015 and concluded with the release of the season finale, "Jim Henson vs. Stan Lee", on August 3, 2015. It was confirmed in a podcast by Shukoff that there would be a fifth season, with pre-production starting in November 2015 once they came back from the world tour. On December 16, the first off-season battle was released, entitled, "Deadpool vs. Boba Fett." On February 26, 2016, it was announced that Season 5 would begin on May 2, 2016, and on March 22 it was announced that production had begun. Season 5 officially began on May 2, 2016, with the release of the first battle of the season, "George R. R. Martin vs. J. R. R. Tolkien". ERB released battles every other Monday as of the first half of Season 5. On July 12, 2016, "Alexander the Great vs. Ivan the Terrible" was released. This marked the midseason break. Ahlquist later confirmed they were planning to return mid to late October. Filming began for the second half of Season 5 on September 23. On October 26, Season 5 resumed with "Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton". The final episode of Season 5, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2" was released on January 9, 2017, where Ahlquist and Shukoff battle against each other once again, as it is a sequel to the Season 1 finale. Following the fifth season, ERB went on an extended hiatus. In 2016, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for an Emmy Award in the newly initiated category Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Short Form Variety Series at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards. In 2018, Shukoff announced there would be a sixth season during a performance at Anime Midwest. On November 30, 2018, a video was posted on the official ERB YouTube channel, confirming that Season 6 will premiere in 2019. A "bonus battle" between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg was released on December 7, 2018. In December 2018, Ahlquist said that they had gone "fully independent" of their production company. On April 20, 2019, the Season 6 premiere ("Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine") was released. ERB once again went on hiatus in December, after "Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer". After a 10 month hiatus, ERB returned, with their third election rap battle, "Donald Trump vs Joe Biden". On December 5, 2020, Ahlquist stated in a Behind The Scenes video for their next battle, "Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker" (their second Lego-animated collaboration with Forrest Whaley), that as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, ERB would be transitioning from Season 6 to Season 7 earlier than expected, rather than further postpone Season 6. Several planned battles and concepts will be holdovers from Season 6. Source: Wikipedia
Epic rap battles of history! Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius! Versus! Nietzsche, Socrates, and Voltaire! Begin! I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention Rolling with the flyest nihilist And me, their French henchman We got the wisdom And the wit That even I couldn't question Dropping Western medicine On these East infections It's evident You've never been Our type of mental brethren We're better Thinkers Better speakers Better lovers Better men This type of arrogance is sure to be expected From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations We filled a nation With patience And the presence For living And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kow-tow to When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu You need to take control of the life you're given They call me Übermensch, cause I'm so driven And I'm a freethinker So confronting conformists like you? It's my job Got a sharp wit Like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebab (Oh!) You flubbed the mission I'm beating your submissive ass into submission Dishing out more disses than letters and Pamphlets and plays I've been publishing Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins I can move onto Jackie Chan Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man This seminal general isn't so tough on the mic All your men must be like, "yo, what happened?" You're pitiful lyrically Lucky for history, you didn't author the Art of Rapping Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now the Sun's out Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS Laozi, kick the beat, now Confucius, drop some bars Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire French drip with the egg noodle hair Your ego's just so distracting Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping And you killed God, so I gotta ask Did he die of shame when he made your moustache? You try to plan a new German psyche But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy And it all starts with you, you're the father, Socrates Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick Sacrebleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense Come, let's blind these Chinese Hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee Let me be frank, don't start beef with The Frank Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity You must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty Ugh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today I'll make you move, bitch, get out the way Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written That two dudes on the same team Should squabble like some clucking chickens? Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in its place Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that? I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat So here's the real golden rule, I'm way above you weak rookies Confucius say You can all hold these fortune cookies! What is winning? Who is next? You decide! Epic! Quiet! Rap battles of history! ‘Eastern Philiosphers vs Western Philosophers’ by Epic Rap Battles (ERB) Songwriters: Lloyd Leonard Ahlquist / Peter Shukoff / Dante Michael Cimadamore The Western Philosophers: Socrates: I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium. (The Acropolis of Athens is where Socrates taught. A pandemonium is a wild uproar or unrestrained disorder and a word originating from Ancient Greek. Basically, Socrates is starting the battle with an uproar.) Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium! (Symposium, in this case, has two meanings. Firstly, it is a conference-like meeting to discuss a particular topic, usually involving lectures and panels so people can learn more about certain subjects. Secondly, a symposium was a drinking party held in Ancient Greece and was also the title of a work by Plato, Socrates' most famous student. Socrates is saying that the Eastern philosophers have only brought weak lyrics to battle the Western philosophers who are assembled to "pimp slap" (backhand slap) the Eastern philosophers and educate them, like a symposium might. The second Greek usage is used as a pun and reference to Socrates coming from Greece.) The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention! (Socrates is often known as the father of philosophy. He had the habit of making people aware of their own ignorance by asking them to explain the meaning of things they thought they knew, such as justice or piety. Because of this, he was described by his student Plato as a "gadfly", annoying the placid Athenian citizens like a gadfly annoys the horses.) Nietzsche: Rolling with the flyest nihilist, (Nietzsche introduces himself. A nihilist is someone who follows nihilism, which is the belief that all religious and moral values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. Nietzsche was known to be one of these, so he calls himself the flyest one, or the most superior.) Voltaire: And me, their French henchman! (Voltaire follows by introducing himself as well. Voltaire was born in France, so he interjects by saying he's the French member of the group and, being the more optimistic, lighthearted and freethinking of the three, is humble by titling himself as a henchman of the other two.) The Western Philosophers: We've got the wisdom and the wit that even I couldn't question! (As stated above, Socrates made a habit of questioning the supposed knowledge people had. An idea often associated with him is that the wisest man is the one who's aware of his own ignorance. Here, however, he claims that not even he will question the fact that his team has wisdom and wit.) Dropping Western medicine on these East infections! (Western minds of the past made many important discoveries in medicine. The West will use their advantage in medicinal knowledge to remove the Eastern philosophers, who they claim are a disease. This is also a play on words, as a yeast infection is an illness in which the yeast Candida, normally symbiotic in the human body, goes into overgrowth and causes a range of symptoms, such as thrush and varying degrees of irritation in both genders. This may also be comparing the traditional style of Western medicine which is founded upon biological and chemical research into curing diseases scientifically and originated in Greece, while traditional Eastern medicine is based around herbs and remedies passed down through generations and comes from ancient China. The Westerners could be saying that things like Eastern medicine and philosophy are based around tradition while their Western counterparts involve actual thought.) It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren! (The Western team states that it is obvious the Eastern team isn't on the same level of intelligence as them.) We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men! (This line says the Western team is superior in every way, including philosophical thinking, giving speeches, sexual prowess, and more advanced as humans in general. The philosopher that says each quality is also significant. Nietzsche was primarily known of all things to be an incredible thinker while Socrates gave many speeches to his students and Voltaire was known for being rather suave and had frequent sex with many women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Confucius: This type of arrogance is sure to be expected (The Eastern philosophers were expecting the Western philosophers to boast as they just did. Confucius also once said, "The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." This implies a person is more in deeds than in words, and saying the Western philosophers' boasting aren't effective; the reason is explained in the next line.) From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is! (They believe the Western philosophers are disrespectful, which makes them unwise and disgraceful. Showing respect for others is an important part of Eastern culture. Confucius once said that one should respect one's ancestor; since the Eastern philosophers are older than the Western philosophers, Confucius suggests the West should respect the East, rather than dis them.) Lao Tzu: You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life. (Lao Tzu's philosophy was to have discipline in life, to follow the flow of life, and have everything balanced. He says that the Westerners are sloppy from not following this lifestyle.) You lack control of yourselves and of the mic, (As previously stated, the Western team cannot control themselves nor have balance according to the Eastern philosophers, and the same goes for when they are rapping. "Lack of mic control" in rap terms is to have bad raps. Also, one of Nietzsche's teachings was having control of your own life.) Sun Tzu: While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration! (Sun Tzu's philosophy talks about precision as an important factor during war, and they will use that tactic in the battle.) Confucius: Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations! (Honoring one's ancestors is one of the bases of Confucius' teachings. Here, he claims that his and his teammates' descendants will be proud of the fact that their ancestors won this rap battle.) The Eastern Philosophers: We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living, (The Eastern philosophers believe that they have made their nation, China, a better place with their teachings, which students in China continue to learn.) And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written! (Holding a candle to something/one is to say that nothing can ever be as good as it. The East claim that the West's influence isn't even close to the philosophy that the Eastern team has written, such as the Analects, the Tao Te Ching, and The Art of War. Additionally, while the Analects was actually written by his students, Confucius authored four of the "Five Classics", known as the Classic of Poetry, the Book of Documents, the Book of Rites, and Spring and Autumn Annals.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to ("Kautau (叩頭)" (sometimes Westernized as "kowtow") is the Chinese act of kneeling and bowing one's head so that it touches the ground in order to show deep respect and reverence; the Eastern philosophers do this at the end of their verse. Nietzsche is saying he will do something that they will have no choice but to respect, continued in the next line.) When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu! (The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff, is a book that is meant to explain the Eastern philosophy of Taoism to Western society using the characters from Winnie-the-Pooh. "Pooh" or "poo" is another term for feces, and to "shit on" someone is to diss or demoralize them. Continuing from the previous line, Nietzsche is saying he will take a shit on, or insult and demoralize, Lao Tzu.) You need to take control of the life you're given! (One of Nietzsche's teachings was based on the concept of free will or having control of your own life. In contrast, one of the primary doctrines of Taoism is the concept of wu-wei, which, in essential, teaches letting go of control and letting life take you on a natural course to achieve harmony. Nietzsche states that Lao Tzu's teachings are, in fact, invalid.) They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven! ("Übermensch", German for "beyond-human", is a concept created by Nietzsche. In his book Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra), Nietzsche describes the Übermensch as one who is driven to seek meaning in their current life, in contrast with the acceptance advocated by Taoism. This is also a pun on Uber, a company that offers car rides and would therefore make its users "driven" in a literal sense.) Voltaire: And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job! (Freethinking is a philosophical viewpoint which believes that truths should be formed on the basis of logic and reason rather than authority and conformity, a concept that was central to the Enlightenment period, during which Voltaire wrote. Voltaire himself rejected groups that supported conformity such as the Catholic Church and the French ruling class, and therefore deems himself qualified to target Confucius, who taught conformist ideas, including adherence to tradition, obedience and respect to elders and authority, and the honoring of ancestors.) Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab! (Voltaire says he will use his sharp wit, or intelligence, to impale Confucius. A spit is a rod used to stick through meat when roasting it over a fire, i.e. making shish kebabs, or sticks with meat and vegetables on them. A lyrical pun is made with Confucius' name.) (Oh!) You flubbed the mission; I'm beating your submissive ass into submission! (Confucius was ultimately unable to have the heavily fortified walls of the Ji, Meng, and Shu families in China dismantled after many years of trying. Having failed his mission, Confucius went into self-exile for 18 years and would not return until his enemy, Viscount Ji Huan, was dead. The line could be implying that Confucius simply submitted to Huan after not reaching his goal. Voltaire says that Confucius will do the same to him.) Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing! (Apart from being a philosopher, Voltaire was also a writer. He produced many works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. He wrote more than 20,000 letters and more than 2,000 books and pamphlets, meaning he will make more insults towards his opponents than the amount of his written works combined.) Socrates: Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan! (The concept of Yin-Yang is used in Confucianism (Confucius) and Taoism (Lao Tzu). This is also a reference to the rap group, the Ying Yang Twins. Sun Tzu, in this line, is compared with action star, Jackie Chan. Chan is known for his impressive and often comedic fighting style. Socrates is saying although Sun Tzu is a mighty warrior, he finds him laughable.) Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man! (Wu (武) is the Chinese word for military, or combat-related matters, which Sun Tzu was famous for discussing in his work The Art of War. In addition, he was born, and lived, in the Chinese state of Wu. He was also said to be the minister to King Helü, the ruler of Wu. Socrates says that he will criticize or "pick apart" Sun Tzu with his Socratic method, a form of discussion named after the Greek philosopher. This line is also a reference to Method Man, an American rapper who is best known as being a member of the Wu-Tang Clan. Furthermore, it may also reference Sun Tzu's birth name, which was Sun Wu.) The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?" (Sun Tzu was a Chinese military general considered to be very influential. However, Socrates says that Sun Tzu is not very good at rapping and his soldiers will be shocked by his loss.) You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping! (Socrates goes on to describe his opponent's lyrics as pitiful. The Art of War was an ancient Chinese military work written by Sun Tzu, which described many different tactics of war. Socrates mentions that it is lucky that Sun Tzu didn't write The Art of Rapping as he believes it would mislead people, as Sun Tzu is bad at rapping.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: Bitch, I wrote The Art of War, so you better get your guns out! (Sun Tzu's biggest influence is the aforementioned The Art of War, which is a book full of tactical aspects meant for battle but is applicable on daily events. He is challenging the Westerners to start a war against him knowing he'll win even if they used firearms.) These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out! (A pun on Sun Tzu's name, comparing himself to the Sun which is very hot. To be "burned" in rap aspect is to be insulted and humiliated. Sun Tzu also calls the Western philosophers "white boys", perhaps implying they can't rap. People with fairer skin are also more susceptible to sunburn.) Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS! (To spit sick is to rap very well. This is a pun on the literal definition of "sick". Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a disease that had spread throughout southern China, causing over 8,000 reported cases and 774 deaths in a nine-month span.) Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars! (Sun Tzu, a war leader, commands his team of philosophers with a one-two attack; Lao Tzu beatboxing, referencing his actor, KRNFX, who is a beatboxer, and Confucius rapping faster.) Confucius: Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire, (This is a play on the words "candid", meaning truthful, and Candide, a French satirical novel written by Voltaire.) French drip with the egg noodle hair. (On the surface level, Voltaire is French, and "drip" is a slang term for a boring, stupid, or unenergetic person. On a deeper level, Voltaire had an extreme coffee addiction, apparently drinking 50-72 cups per day. The grégue, or "French drip" is a traditional style of coffee pot originating in colonial France. The line thus also serves to mock this addiction. Finally, Confucius mocks Voltaire's looks, saying that his hair is stringy like egg noodles.) Your ego's just so distracting. (Voltaire's previous verse consisted of him talking about himself and how supposedly witty he is, which made his lines sidetracked.) Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping! (Voltaire was a man of free speech, but even as Confucius realizes this, he mentions that he should keep quiet in this battle.) And you killed God, so I gotta ask: (Nietzsche is popular for his quote, "God is dead", and how mankind killed Him as a race, so Confucius asks him a question on this in the next line.) Did he die of shame when he made your mustache? (Confucius disses Nietzsche's unique mustache, as it is big and bushy, by saying God would have died of shame because of how horrible it looks.) You tried to plant a new German psyche, (Nietzsche's main goal was to spread his ideas and philosophy to share it with his fellow Germans but he failed on doing so because it was misinterpreted and changed into the basis for Nazism.) But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy! ("Me no rikey" is a stereotypical phrase used to mock Chinese people learning English, as they often cannot pronounce the "L" sound properly. It literally means "I don't like this". Confucius makes a pun on the "Third Reich", another way of saying Nazi Germany, and the aforementioned phrase, stating that Nietzsche inspired hatred as he was an influence for Adolf Hitler. However, Nietzsche was vehemently against antisemitism, proof being letters he wrote to his sister, where he lambasted her for her backwards views on the Jews. Also, that very same sister reappropriated his work for the Nazi cause.) Sun Tzu: And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates! (Socrates is often thought of as the father of modern thought, with many philosophers following his ideals.) Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology! (Since Socrates is billed as the one who started philosophy in the West, he is also to blame for the implied failures of Nietzsche and Voltaire. This verse also references Plato's Apology, an account of Socrates' trial and how he defended himself against the charges.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe. (Plebe, or plebian, is a Greek term which refers to a poor citizen. Nietzsche is calling Socrates a poor citizen of no importance. It's worth noting that Nietzsche didn't hold Socrates' philosophy in high regard, which is why he was offended by Sun Tzu referring to him and Voltaire as Socrates' students. This line will end up being important later on.) Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi! (Chi (氣) is the Chinese word for life flow. Nietzsche is saying that he will knee Sun Tzu in his crotch. Additionally, "knee" and "chi" together form a pun on Nietzsche's name.) 'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E, (Nietzsche spells out his name as a set-up for his next line.) And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee! (Nietzsche would be a very hard word to spell in a spelling bee, due to the fact that it is pronounced as /NEET-shuh/, very different to how it is actually spelled. Nietzsche is essentially saying that anyone facing him will fail the same way they would if they had to spell out his name.) Socrates: Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip! (Socrates, now angered by Nietzsche's line in which he calls him a plebe, doesn't believe he is a plebe, claiming his raps are toxic like hemlock, a poisonous drink that was given to him during his execution and killed him with a sip.) Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick! (Socrates is referencing the practice of placing a sock or a rubber band on a door knob (typically in a college dorm setting) in order to inform others that the person inside the room is having sex, and thus to not enter. Since Socrates is from Ancient Greece and did not wear proper footwear, he uses a sandal instead of a sock. He is telling Nietzsche to ask for some privacy while simultaneously telling him to suck his dick.) Voltaire: Sacré bleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense! ("Sacré bleu" is an antiquated, stereotypical French profanity which equates to "God damn it" in English. Voltaire is saying that Socrates is making things tense by arguing with Nietzsche, his teammate.) Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment! (Continuing his attempt to cease the argument between Nietzsche and Socrates, he reminds them that they must rap battle the Eastern philosophers, Voltaire makes a series of puns using the vocabulary of enlightenment in reference to the Enlightened (les Lumières in French), the name of Voltaire's movement of philosophers, whose motto was to "enlighten the people with logic and knowledge".) Socrates: I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery! (Voltaire exploited a monthly Paris lottery, organizing a group to collect every ticket in the city. By the time his tricks were discovered, he had amassed 1 million francs. "Frog" is a slang term for a French person, usually used in a derogatory manner. Socrates is saying that someone who cheated should not be telling others how to get along.) You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee! (Voltaire is known for his large nose and having an addiction to coffee. Socrates is saying that he should go back to drinking coffee, as he has no place in telling him what to do. This also references that Socrates taught and contributed extensively on the study of ethics. As such, he takes Voltaire's illegal behavior as a personal offense.) Voltaire: Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank, (The adjective "frank" means direct and honest, thus Voltaire is saying that he'll sum up quickly and sincerely why Socrates and Nietzsche should not challenge him. "Frank" is also a nickname for "François", Voltaire's real first name. Further, Voltaire is French and "Frank" was a nickname for a Frenchmen among the English. By referring to himself as the Frank, he is elevating himself above all Frenchmen, and even above the other philosophers in claiming himself to be an icon, the greatest of an entire nation, which they are not. Voltaire is making a pun off of this by telling Socrates that, in all honesty, he should not be picking a fight with him.) Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks! (Voltaire was a friend of Ben Franklin. Beef franks, short for "beef frankfurters", are soft sausages or hot dogs. As "sausage" can be an euphemism for "penis", Voltaire is saying that he has sex with a lot of women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity! (Sun Tzu references one of the quotes in The Art of War: "In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity". As an experienced general and tactician, Sun Tzu managed to exploit his opponents' weakness and cause them to fight among themselves. He claims this will give his team an advantage, i.e. an opportunity to win the battle. In the battle, he also snuck up on the Western philosophers fighting, referencing the fact that he valued the use of espionage to help win wars and dedicated an entire chapter of his book to it.) Lao Tzu: We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty. (Lao Tzu references one of his famous quotes: "Mold clay to form a bowl; it is the empty space which makes the bowl useful", suggesting that the convenient opportunity they have been given to strike against their quarreling opponents is very helpful. During this line in the video, Confucius can also be seen showing respect by nodding his head, since Confucius was Lao Tzu's student in real life.) Sun Tzu: (Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, (Sun Tzu doesn't mean to insult Lao Tzu, as the Eastern Philosophers had previously cited the importance of respect. However…) But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense! (…Sun counters Lao's former line, saying that to make better use of said bowl is to fill it with better logic as an empty bowl being useful doesn't make sense to Sun Tzu. It is also a play on words that Lao is full of bull (bowl) shit.) Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. (Lao Tzu is telling Sun Tzu not to attack his philosophy. The Tao is referred to as a path in Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, as Tao (道) also means a road in Chinese. In Taoism, it also mentions that you should go with the flow but this time…) I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way! (…he will move Sun Tzu instead of letting things be. Lao Tzu also tells Sun Tzu to step off by making a direct reference to Move Bitch (Get Out the Way), a song by Ludacris. He also references the book that he wrote titled, Tao Te Ching or The Way of Life.) Confucius: Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written (Confucius rhetorically asks about the structure of rap battles and how…) That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens? (…teammates in rap battles shouldn't be battling each other, comparing it to chickens squabbling. Confucius refers to the term as tradition, as the one of him teaching is about following the tradition and ritual, or li (禮). As stated in the Analects by Confucius, the quote "In the application of the rites, harmony is to be prized" implies one should not argue over small things. Furthermore, Confucius also wrote a book titled the Book of Rites, which is a compiled collection of texts describing social forms, administration, and ceremonial rites.) Sun Tzu: Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place. (To "put someone/thing in its place" means to make them more humble or less arrogant. Confucius taught the propriety of social relationships, emphasizing that one must act accordingly to his or her position in society and life. An example of this comes from one of his quotes, "Let the king be a king, the minister a minister, the father a father and the son a son". He also had considerable political power and influence. Sun Tzu is telling Confucius that he has control issues, but if he wishes to control things so badly…) Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? (…then he should start by getting his eyebrows under control. Confucius is known for having large eyebrows in sketches and portraits that droop down the side of his face.) Confucius: Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that? (Confucius understands that Sun Tzu is looking for a fight and he's willing to give him one.) I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat! (A warmonger is a person who advocates war, as Sun Tzu's teaching indirectly lead to a lot of war in later times. In some Western countries, Chinese restaurants offer Chinese takeout which are usually served in a special takeout box. Confucius mocks Sun Tzu's hat by saying that it looks like a Chinese takeout box and he also says that he will smack him so hard that his hat will fall off; in addition, he says Sun Tzu is a warmonger, which is often seen as being barbaric.) So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies! (Confucius came up with the Golden Rule (恕道), which states, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". What Confucius says here is that Sun Tzu should not dis him, as now Confucius disses him back. Also, both Confucius and Lao Tzu had come up with the Golden Rule in their respective philosophy, Confucianism and Taoism. Here, he claims that the actual golden rule is that he is the better of both Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu, and that Lao Tzu's Golden Rule is wrong.) Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies! (Confucius Says is a meme (also called Wise Confucius) referring to the way that Confucius speaks in his writings. At first glance, the upper half of the image impersonates Confucius giving sage advice, but the lower half reveals it to be the set up of a pun. "Holding fortune cookies" means everyone in the battle can hold Confucius's balls, mainly because they're lower than him. Fortune cookies are assumed by many to be Chinese but they were actually created in Kyoto, Japan.) Source: ERBH Wiki Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) is a YouTube web series and music project created by Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff and Lloyd "EpicLLOYD" Ahlquist. The series pits historical and pop culture figures against one another in a rap battle format. The characters portrayed are often determined by suggestions from viewers in the comments sections of the channel's videos. Shukoff and Ahlquist write each song themselves, researching the subject in order to find obscure details to use as references in the lyrics. As of August 2, 2020, the channel has over 14.6 million subscribers and approximately 3.527 billion total video views. Following an extended hiatus, the channel returned with a bonus battle in December 2018, and the sixth season debuted on April 20, 2019. Although early episodes of the series featured only Shukoff and Ahlquist, later episodes have regularly featured guest appearances, and other internet celebrities such as Dan Bull, Lisa Donovan, Timothy DeLaGhetto, George Watsky, DeStorm Power, Jesse Wellens, PewDiePie, Jenna Marbles, Lilly Singh, Ray William Johnson, Rhett and Link, and Smosh. Media celebrities like rappers Snoop Dogg, Chali 2na, and T-Pain, singers Jackie Tohn and "Weird Al" Yankovic, actors J.B. Smoove and Gary Anthony Williams, and the comedy duo Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have also appeared in the series. On July 3, 2013, "Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney" became the first of its singles to be certified Gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in the United States. 10 other singles, "Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader", "Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking", "Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare", "Master Chief vs. Leonidas", "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates", "Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig van Beethoven", "Mario Brothers vs. Wright Brothers", "Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers", "Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris", and "Hitler vs. Vader 2", were subsequently certified Gold as well. The idea for historical figures rapping against each other was conceived by Ahlquist, who pitched the idea to Shukoff as an improvised show titled "Check OneTwo"; both were working in improv at the time along with Zach Sherwin, who would later become a regular guest on the series. They were met with high levels of difficulty at first and decided that the concept would fare much better as a YouTube series than an improv show The first three rap battles were each shot on a $50 budget. Before the web series existed on YouTube, Shukoff and Ahlquist recorded their first song, which was a battle between Child's Play antagonist Chucky and actor Michael J. Fox. The song was freestyle and poorly made; as a result, it was not released to the public. On September 26, 2010, the first rap battle was uploaded to YouTube, featuring Shukoff as John Lennon and Ahlquist as Bill O'Reilly. The 15th episode, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD", marked the end of the first season. This battle pitted Ahlquist and Shukoff against each other with cameos from all of the characters they had played over the 14 prior episodes. At the end of the battle, KassemGarrives and convinces Peter and Lloyd to continue the battles on their own channel. Epic Rap Battles of History later returned on December 8, 2011, hosted on their new channel (moving from Shukoff's personal channel), ERB, with behind-the-scenes videos on their second channel, ERB2. Shukoff and Maker Studios also created the official website for the series, where fans could vote on winners for each video, and read short comical autobiographies by each character. On September 27, 2012, following a four-month pause after the "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates" episode, a video was released on the series' YouTube channel where Ahlquist (voicing to an animation of Theodore Roosevelt) announced that new episodes would be released every two weeks until the Christmas holidays, starting with the 22nd episode "Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury" (aired on October 1, 2012). "Moses vs. Santa Claus", aired on December 10, 2012, was the last battle before taking a break for the holidays. On February 17, 2013, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for five Streamy Awards, winning four of them. Shukoff and Ahlquist also performed part of the Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates battle live. On September 9, 2013, ERB uploaded a trailer video on their channel announcing that Epic Rap Battles of History would return on October 7, 2013 for a third season. On October 14, ERB released a second video with Ahlquist voicing Theodore Roosevelt, who announced the upcoming season's schedule. The third season went on hiatus after the release of "Donald Trump vs. Ebenezer Scrooge" on December 19, 2013. In March 2014, an episode of Shukoff's weekly show The Monday Show, published on March 11, and a third announcement video of Epic Rap Battles of History News, published on March 18, confirmed that Season 3 would continue on May 5, 2014. "Weird" Al Yankovic, Smosh, and Rhett and Link were also confirmed as guest appearances. The third season concluded with the release of "Artists vs. TMNT" on July 14, 2014, where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles battled their European renaissance artist namesakes. On September 30, 2014, a teaser video for the fourth season of Epic Rap Battles of History, featuring the Ghostbusters and MythBusters, was released; the series returned on November 10, 2014 with its 46th episode, "Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters". This season also marked the first animated battle: "Zeus vs Thor", which was animated entirely with Lego bricks and minifigures; Forrest Whaley served as animation director. On December 15, 2014, when "Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock" was released, the fourth season went on hiatus. The season continued on May 25, 2015 and concluded with the release of the season finale, "Jim Henson vs. Stan Lee", on August 3, 2015. It was confirmed in a podcast by Shukoff that there would be a fifth season, with pre-production starting in November 2015 once they came back from the world tour. On December 16, the first off-season battle was released, entitled, "Deadpool vs. Boba Fett." On February 26, 2016, it was announced that Season 5 would begin on May 2, 2016, and on March 22 it was announced that production had begun. Season 5 officially began on May 2, 2016, with the release of the first battle of the season, "George R. R. Martin vs. J. R. R. Tolkien". ERB released battles every other Monday as of the first half of Season 5. On July 12, 2016, "Alexander the Great vs. Ivan the Terrible" was released. This marked the midseason break. Ahlquist later confirmed they were planning to return mid to late October. Filming began for the second half of Season 5 on September 23. On October 26, Season 5 resumed with "Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton". The final episode of Season 5, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2" was released on January 9, 2017, where Ahlquist and Shukoff battle against each other once again, as it is a sequel to the Season 1 finale. Following the fifth season, ERB went on an extended hiatus. In 2016, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for an Emmy Award in the newly initiated category Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Short Form Variety Series at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards. In 2018, Shukoff announced there would be a sixth season during a performance at Anime Midwest. On November 30, 2018, a video was posted on the official ERB YouTube channel, confirming that Season 6 will premiere in 2019. A "bonus battle" between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg was released on December 7, 2018. In December 2018, Ahlquist said that they had gone "fully independent" of their production company. On April 20, 2019, the Season 6 premiere ("Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine") was released. ERB once again went on hiatus in December, after "Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer". After a 10 month hiatus, ERB returned, with their third election rap battle, "Donald Trump vs Joe Biden". On December 5, 2020, Ahlquist stated in a Behind The Scenes video for their next battle, "Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker" (their second Lego-animated collaboration with Forrest Whaley), that as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, ERB would be transitioning from Season 6 to Season 7 earlier than expected, rather than further postpone Season 6. Several planned battles and concepts will be holdovers from Season 6. Source: Wikipedia
Epic rap battles of history! Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius! Versus! Nietzsche, Socrates, and Voltaire! Begin! I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention Rolling with the flyest nihilist And me, their French henchman We got the wisdom And the wit That even I couldn't question Dropping Western medicine On these East infections It's evident You've never been Our type of mental brethren We're better Thinkers Better speakers Better lovers Better men This type of arrogance is sure to be expected From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations We filled a nation With patience And the presence For living And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kow-tow to When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu You need to take control of the life you're given They call me Übermensch, cause I'm so driven And I'm a freethinker So confronting conformists like you? It's my job Got a sharp wit Like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebab (Oh!) You flubbed the mission I'm beating your submissive ass into submission Dishing out more disses than letters and Pamphlets and plays I've been publishing Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins I can move onto Jackie Chan Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man This seminal general isn't so tough on the mic All your men must be like, "yo, what happened?" You're pitiful lyrically Lucky for history, you didn't author the Art of Rapping Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now the Sun's out Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS Laozi, kick the beat, now Confucius, drop some bars Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire French drip with the egg noodle hair Your ego's just so distracting Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping And you killed God, so I gotta ask Did he die of shame when he made your moustache? You try to plan a new German psyche But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy And it all starts with you, you're the father, Socrates Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick Sacrebleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense Come, let's blind these Chinese Hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee Let me be frank, don't start beef with The Frank Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity You must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty Ugh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today I'll make you move, bitch, get out the way Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written That two dudes on the same team Should squabble like some clucking chickens? Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in its place Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that? I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat So here's the real golden rule, I'm way above you weak rookies Confucius say You can all hold these fortune cookies! What is winning? Who is next? You decide! Epic! Quiet! Rap battles of history! ‘Eastern Philiosphers vs Western Philosophers’ by Epic Rap Battles (ERB) Songwriters: Lloyd Leonard Ahlquist / Peter Shukoff / Dante Michael Cimadamore The Western Philosophers: Socrates: I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium. (The Acropolis of Athens is where Socrates taught. A pandemonium is a wild uproar or unrestrained disorder and a word originating from Ancient Greek. Basically, Socrates is starting the battle with an uproar.) Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium! (Symposium, in this case, has two meanings. Firstly, it is a conference-like meeting to discuss a particular topic, usually involving lectures and panels so people can learn more about certain subjects. Secondly, a symposium was a drinking party held in Ancient Greece and was also the title of a work by Plato, Socrates' most famous student. Socrates is saying that the Eastern philosophers have only brought weak lyrics to battle the Western philosophers who are assembled to "pimp slap" (backhand slap) the Eastern philosophers and educate them, like a symposium might. The second Greek usage is used as a pun and reference to Socrates coming from Greece.) The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention! (Socrates is often known as the father of philosophy. He had the habit of making people aware of their own ignorance by asking them to explain the meaning of things they thought they knew, such as justice or piety. Because of this, he was described by his student Plato as a "gadfly", annoying the placid Athenian citizens like a gadfly annoys the horses.) Nietzsche: Rolling with the flyest nihilist, (Nietzsche introduces himself. A nihilist is someone who follows nihilism, which is the belief that all religious and moral values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. Nietzsche was known to be one of these, so he calls himself the flyest one, or the most superior.) Voltaire: And me, their French henchman! (Voltaire follows by introducing himself as well. Voltaire was born in France, so he interjects by saying he's the French member of the group and, being the more optimistic, lighthearted and freethinking of the three, is humble by titling himself as a henchman of the other two.) The Western Philosophers: We've got the wisdom and the wit that even I couldn't question! (As stated above, Socrates made a habit of questioning the supposed knowledge people had. An idea often associated with him is that the wisest man is the one who's aware of his own ignorance. Here, however, he claims that not even he will question the fact that his team has wisdom and wit.) Dropping Western medicine on these East infections! (Western minds of the past made many important discoveries in medicine. The West will use their advantage in medicinal knowledge to remove the Eastern philosophers, who they claim are a disease. This is also a play on words, as a yeast infection is an illness in which the yeast Candida, normally symbiotic in the human body, goes into overgrowth and causes a range of symptoms, such as thrush and varying degrees of irritation in both genders. This may also be comparing the traditional style of Western medicine which is founded upon biological and chemical research into curing diseases scientifically and originated in Greece, while traditional Eastern medicine is based around herbs and remedies passed down through generations and comes from ancient China. The Westerners could be saying that things like Eastern medicine and philosophy are based around tradition while their Western counterparts involve actual thought.) It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren! (The Western team states that it is obvious the Eastern team isn't on the same level of intelligence as them.) We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men! (This line says the Western team is superior in every way, including philosophical thinking, giving speeches, sexual prowess, and more advanced as humans in general. The philosopher that says each quality is also significant. Nietzsche was primarily known of all things to be an incredible thinker while Socrates gave many speeches to his students and Voltaire was known for being rather suave and had frequent sex with many women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Confucius: This type of arrogance is sure to be expected (The Eastern philosophers were expecting the Western philosophers to boast as they just did. Confucius also once said, "The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." This implies a person is more in deeds than in words, and saying the Western philosophers' boasting aren't effective; the reason is explained in the next line.) From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is! (They believe the Western philosophers are disrespectful, which makes them unwise and disgraceful. Showing respect for others is an important part of Eastern culture. Confucius once said that one should respect one's ancestor; since the Eastern philosophers are older than the Western philosophers, Confucius suggests the West should respect the East, rather than dis them.) Lao Tzu: You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life. (Lao Tzu's philosophy was to have discipline in life, to follow the flow of life, and have everything balanced. He says that the Westerners are sloppy from not following this lifestyle.) You lack control of yourselves and of the mic, (As previously stated, the Western team cannot control themselves nor have balance according to the Eastern philosophers, and the same goes for when they are rapping. "Lack of mic control" in rap terms is to have bad raps. Also, one of Nietzsche's teachings was having control of your own life.) Sun Tzu: While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration! (Sun Tzu's philosophy talks about precision as an important factor during war, and they will use that tactic in the battle.) Confucius: Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations! (Honoring one's ancestors is one of the bases of Confucius' teachings. Here, he claims that his and his teammates' descendants will be proud of the fact that their ancestors won this rap battle.) The Eastern Philosophers: We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living, (The Eastern philosophers believe that they have made their nation, China, a better place with their teachings, which students in China continue to learn.) And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written! (Holding a candle to something/one is to say that nothing can ever be as good as it. The East claim that the West's influence isn't even close to the philosophy that the Eastern team has written, such as the Analects, the Tao Te Ching, and The Art of War. Additionally, while the Analects was actually written by his students, Confucius authored four of the "Five Classics", known as the Classic of Poetry, the Book of Documents, the Book of Rites, and Spring and Autumn Annals.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to ("Kautau (叩頭)" (sometimes Westernized as "kowtow") is the Chinese act of kneeling and bowing one's head so that it touches the ground in order to show deep respect and reverence; the Eastern philosophers do this at the end of their verse. Nietzsche is saying he will do something that they will have no choice but to respect, continued in the next line.) When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu! (The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff, is a book that is meant to explain the Eastern philosophy of Taoism to Western society using the characters from Winnie-the-Pooh. "Pooh" or "poo" is another term for feces, and to "shit on" someone is to diss or demoralize them. Continuing from the previous line, Nietzsche is saying he will take a shit on, or insult and demoralize, Lao Tzu.) You need to take control of the life you're given! (One of Nietzsche's teachings was based on the concept of free will or having control of your own life. In contrast, one of the primary doctrines of Taoism is the concept of wu-wei, which, in essential, teaches letting go of control and letting life take you on a natural course to achieve harmony. Nietzsche states that Lao Tzu's teachings are, in fact, invalid.) They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven! ("Übermensch", German for "beyond-human", is a concept created by Nietzsche. In his book Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra), Nietzsche describes the Übermensch as one who is driven to seek meaning in their current life, in contrast with the acceptance advocated by Taoism. This is also a pun on Uber, a company that offers car rides and would therefore make its users "driven" in a literal sense.) Voltaire: And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job! (Freethinking is a philosophical viewpoint which believes that truths should be formed on the basis of logic and reason rather than authority and conformity, a concept that was central to the Enlightenment period, during which Voltaire wrote. Voltaire himself rejected groups that supported conformity such as the Catholic Church and the French ruling class, and therefore deems himself qualified to target Confucius, who taught conformist ideas, including adherence to tradition, obedience and respect to elders and authority, and the honoring of ancestors.) Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab! (Voltaire says he will use his sharp wit, or intelligence, to impale Confucius. A spit is a rod used to stick through meat when roasting it over a fire, i.e. making shish kebabs, or sticks with meat and vegetables on them. A lyrical pun is made with Confucius' name.) (Oh!) You flubbed the mission; I'm beating your submissive ass into submission! (Confucius was ultimately unable to have the heavily fortified walls of the Ji, Meng, and Shu families in China dismantled after many years of trying. Having failed his mission, Confucius went into self-exile for 18 years and would not return until his enemy, Viscount Ji Huan, was dead. The line could be implying that Confucius simply submitted to Huan after not reaching his goal. Voltaire says that Confucius will do the same to him.) Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing! (Apart from being a philosopher, Voltaire was also a writer. He produced many works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. He wrote more than 20,000 letters and more than 2,000 books and pamphlets, meaning he will make more insults towards his opponents than the amount of his written works combined.) Socrates: Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan! (The concept of Yin-Yang is used in Confucianism (Confucius) and Taoism (Lao Tzu). This is also a reference to the rap group, the Ying Yang Twins. Sun Tzu, in this line, is compared with action star, Jackie Chan. Chan is known for his impressive and often comedic fighting style. Socrates is saying although Sun Tzu is a mighty warrior, he finds him laughable.) Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man! (Wu (武) is the Chinese word for military, or combat-related matters, which Sun Tzu was famous for discussing in his work The Art of War. In addition, he was born, and lived, in the Chinese state of Wu. He was also said to be the minister to King Helü, the ruler of Wu. Socrates says that he will criticize or "pick apart" Sun Tzu with his Socratic method, a form of discussion named after the Greek philosopher. This line is also a reference to Method Man, an American rapper who is best known as being a member of the Wu-Tang Clan. Furthermore, it may also reference Sun Tzu's birth name, which was Sun Wu.) The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?" (Sun Tzu was a Chinese military general considered to be very influential. However, Socrates says that Sun Tzu is not very good at rapping and his soldiers will be shocked by his loss.) You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping! (Socrates goes on to describe his opponent's lyrics as pitiful. The Art of War was an ancient Chinese military work written by Sun Tzu, which described many different tactics of war. Socrates mentions that it is lucky that Sun Tzu didn't write The Art of Rapping as he believes it would mislead people, as Sun Tzu is bad at rapping.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: Bitch, I wrote The Art of War, so you better get your guns out! (Sun Tzu's biggest influence is the aforementioned The Art of War, which is a book full of tactical aspects meant for battle but is applicable on daily events. He is challenging the Westerners to start a war against him knowing he'll win even if they used firearms.) These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out! (A pun on Sun Tzu's name, comparing himself to the Sun which is very hot. To be "burned" in rap aspect is to be insulted and humiliated. Sun Tzu also calls the Western philosophers "white boys", perhaps implying they can't rap. People with fairer skin are also more susceptible to sunburn.) Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS! (To spit sick is to rap very well. This is a pun on the literal definition of "sick". Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a disease that had spread throughout southern China, causing over 8,000 reported cases and 774 deaths in a nine-month span.) Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars! (Sun Tzu, a war leader, commands his team of philosophers with a one-two attack; Lao Tzu beatboxing, referencing his actor, KRNFX, who is a beatboxer, and Confucius rapping faster.) Confucius: Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire, (This is a play on the words "candid", meaning truthful, and Candide, a French satirical novel written by Voltaire.) French drip with the egg noodle hair. (On the surface level, Voltaire is French, and "drip" is a slang term for a boring, stupid, or unenergetic person. On a deeper level, Voltaire had an extreme coffee addiction, apparently drinking 50-72 cups per day. The grégue, or "French drip" is a traditional style of coffee pot originating in colonial France. The line thus also serves to mock this addiction. Finally, Confucius mocks Voltaire's looks, saying that his hair is stringy like egg noodles.) Your ego's just so distracting. (Voltaire's previous verse consisted of him talking about himself and how supposedly witty he is, which made his lines sidetracked.) Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping! (Voltaire was a man of free speech, but even as Confucius realizes this, he mentions that he should keep quiet in this battle.) And you killed God, so I gotta ask: (Nietzsche is popular for his quote, "God is dead", and how mankind killed Him as a race, so Confucius asks him a question on this in the next line.) Did he die of shame when he made your mustache? (Confucius disses Nietzsche's unique mustache, as it is big and bushy, by saying God would have died of shame because of how horrible it looks.) You tried to plant a new German psyche, (Nietzsche's main goal was to spread his ideas and philosophy to share it with his fellow Germans but he failed on doing so because it was misinterpreted and changed into the basis for Nazism.) But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy! ("Me no rikey" is a stereotypical phrase used to mock Chinese people learning English, as they often cannot pronounce the "L" sound properly. It literally means "I don't like this". Confucius makes a pun on the "Third Reich", another way of saying Nazi Germany, and the aforementioned phrase, stating that Nietzsche inspired hatred as he was an influence for Adolf Hitler. However, Nietzsche was vehemently against antisemitism, proof being letters he wrote to his sister, where he lambasted her for her backwards views on the Jews. Also, that very same sister reappropriated his work for the Nazi cause.) Sun Tzu: And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates! (Socrates is often thought of as the father of modern thought, with many philosophers following his ideals.) Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology! (Since Socrates is billed as the one who started philosophy in the West, he is also to blame for the implied failures of Nietzsche and Voltaire. This verse also references Plato's Apology, an account of Socrates' trial and how he defended himself against the charges.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe. (Plebe, or plebian, is a Greek term which refers to a poor citizen. Nietzsche is calling Socrates a poor citizen of no importance. It's worth noting that Nietzsche didn't hold Socrates' philosophy in high regard, which is why he was offended by Sun Tzu referring to him and Voltaire as Socrates' students. This line will end up being important later on.) Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi! (Chi (氣) is the Chinese word for life flow. Nietzsche is saying that he will knee Sun Tzu in his crotch. Additionally, "knee" and "chi" together form a pun on Nietzsche's name.) 'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E, (Nietzsche spells out his name as a set-up for his next line.) And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee! (Nietzsche would be a very hard word to spell in a spelling bee, due to the fact that it is pronounced as /NEET-shuh/, very different to how it is actually spelled. Nietzsche is essentially saying that anyone facing him will fail the same way they would if they had to spell out his name.) Socrates: Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip! (Socrates, now angered by Nietzsche's line in which he calls him a plebe, doesn't believe he is a plebe, claiming his raps are toxic like hemlock, a poisonous drink that was given to him during his execution and killed him with a sip.) Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick! (Socrates is referencing the practice of placing a sock or a rubber band on a door knob (typically in a college dorm setting) in order to inform others that the person inside the room is having sex, and thus to not enter. Since Socrates is from Ancient Greece and did not wear proper footwear, he uses a sandal instead of a sock. He is telling Nietzsche to ask for some privacy while simultaneously telling him to suck his dick.) Voltaire: Sacré bleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense! ("Sacré bleu" is an antiquated, stereotypical French profanity which equates to "God damn it" in English. Voltaire is saying that Socrates is making things tense by arguing with Nietzsche, his teammate.) Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment! (Continuing his attempt to cease the argument between Nietzsche and Socrates, he reminds them that they must rap battle the Eastern philosophers, Voltaire makes a series of puns using the vocabulary of enlightenment in reference to the Enlightened (les Lumières in French), the name of Voltaire's movement of philosophers, whose motto was to "enlighten the people with logic and knowledge".) Socrates: I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery! (Voltaire exploited a monthly Paris lottery, organizing a group to collect every ticket in the city. By the time his tricks were discovered, he had amassed 1 million francs. "Frog" is a slang term for a French person, usually used in a derogatory manner. Socrates is saying that someone who cheated should not be telling others how to get along.) You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee! (Voltaire is known for his large nose and having an addiction to coffee. Socrates is saying that he should go back to drinking coffee, as he has no place in telling him what to do. This also references that Socrates taught and contributed extensively on the study of ethics. As such, he takes Voltaire's illegal behavior as a personal offense.) Voltaire: Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank, (The adjective "frank" means direct and honest, thus Voltaire is saying that he'll sum up quickly and sincerely why Socrates and Nietzsche should not challenge him. "Frank" is also a nickname for "François", Voltaire's real first name. Further, Voltaire is French and "Frank" was a nickname for a Frenchmen among the English. By referring to himself as the Frank, he is elevating himself above all Frenchmen, and even above the other philosophers in claiming himself to be an icon, the greatest of an entire nation, which they are not. Voltaire is making a pun off of this by telling Socrates that, in all honesty, he should not be picking a fight with him.) Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks! (Voltaire was a friend of Ben Franklin. Beef franks, short for "beef frankfurters", are soft sausages or hot dogs. As "sausage" can be an euphemism for "penis", Voltaire is saying that he has sex with a lot of women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity! (Sun Tzu references one of the quotes in The Art of War: "In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity". As an experienced general and tactician, Sun Tzu managed to exploit his opponents' weakness and cause them to fight among themselves. He claims this will give his team an advantage, i.e. an opportunity to win the battle. In the battle, he also snuck up on the Western philosophers fighting, referencing the fact that he valued the use of espionage to help win wars and dedicated an entire chapter of his book to it.) Lao Tzu: We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty. (Lao Tzu references one of his famous quotes: "Mold clay to form a bowl; it is the empty space which makes the bowl useful", suggesting that the convenient opportunity they have been given to strike against their quarreling opponents is very helpful. During this line in the video, Confucius can also be seen showing respect by nodding his head, since Confucius was Lao Tzu's student in real life.) Sun Tzu: (Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, (Sun Tzu doesn't mean to insult Lao Tzu, as the Eastern Philosophers had previously cited the importance of respect. However…) But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense! (…Sun counters Lao's former line, saying that to make better use of said bowl is to fill it with better logic as an empty bowl being useful doesn't make sense to Sun Tzu. It is also a play on words that Lao is full of bull (bowl) shit.) Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. (Lao Tzu is telling Sun Tzu not to attack his philosophy. The Tao is referred to as a path in Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, as Tao (道) also means a road in Chinese. In Taoism, it also mentions that you should go with the flow but this time…) I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way! (…he will move Sun Tzu instead of letting things be. Lao Tzu also tells Sun Tzu to step off by making a direct reference to Move Bitch (Get Out the Way), a song by Ludacris. He also references the book that he wrote titled, Tao Te Ching or The Way of Life.) Confucius: Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written (Confucius rhetorically asks about the structure of rap battles and how…) That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens? (…teammates in rap battles shouldn't be battling each other, comparing it to chickens squabbling. Confucius refers to the term as tradition, as the one of him teaching is about following the tradition and ritual, or li (禮). As stated in the Analects by Confucius, the quote "In the application of the rites, harmony is to be prized" implies one should not argue over small things. Furthermore, Confucius also wrote a book titled the Book of Rites, which is a compiled collection of texts describing social forms, administration, and ceremonial rites.) Sun Tzu: Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place. (To "put someone/thing in its place" means to make them more humble or less arrogant. Confucius taught the propriety of social relationships, emphasizing that one must act accordingly to his or her position in society and life. An example of this comes from one of his quotes, "Let the king be a king, the minister a minister, the father a father and the son a son". He also had considerable political power and influence. Sun Tzu is telling Confucius that he has control issues, but if he wishes to control things so badly…) Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? (…then he should start by getting his eyebrows under control. Confucius is known for having large eyebrows in sketches and portraits that droop down the side of his face.) Confucius: Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that? (Confucius understands that Sun Tzu is looking for a fight and he's willing to give him one.) I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat! (A warmonger is a person who advocates war, as Sun Tzu's teaching indirectly lead to a lot of war in later times. In some Western countries, Chinese restaurants offer Chinese takeout which are usually served in a special takeout box. Confucius mocks Sun Tzu's hat by saying that it looks like a Chinese takeout box and he also says that he will smack him so hard that his hat will fall off; in addition, he says Sun Tzu is a warmonger, which is often seen as being barbaric.) So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies! (Confucius came up with the Golden Rule (恕道), which states, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". What Confucius says here is that Sun Tzu should not dis him, as now Confucius disses him back. Also, both Confucius and Lao Tzu had come up with the Golden Rule in their respective philosophy, Confucianism and Taoism. Here, he claims that the actual golden rule is that he is the better of both Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu, and that Lao Tzu's Golden Rule is wrong.) Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies! (Confucius Says is a meme (also called Wise Confucius) referring to the way that Confucius speaks in his writings. At first glance, the upper half of the image impersonates Confucius giving sage advice, but the lower half reveals it to be the set up of a pun. "Holding fortune cookies" means everyone in the battle can hold Confucius's balls, mainly because they're lower than him. Fortune cookies are assumed by many to be Chinese but they were actually created in Kyoto, Japan.) Source: ERBH Wiki Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) is a YouTube web series and music project created by Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff and Lloyd "EpicLLOYD" Ahlquist. The series pits historical and pop culture figures against one another in a rap battle format. The characters portrayed are often determined by suggestions from viewers in the comments sections of the channel's videos. Shukoff and Ahlquist write each song themselves, researching the subject in order to find obscure details to use as references in the lyrics. As of August 2, 2020, the channel has over 14.6 million subscribers and approximately 3.527 billion total video views. Following an extended hiatus, the channel returned with a bonus battle in December 2018, and the sixth season debuted on April 20, 2019. Although early episodes of the series featured only Shukoff and Ahlquist, later episodes have regularly featured guest appearances, and other internet celebrities such as Dan Bull, Lisa Donovan, Timothy DeLaGhetto, George Watsky, DeStorm Power, Jesse Wellens, PewDiePie, Jenna Marbles, Lilly Singh, Ray William Johnson, Rhett and Link, and Smosh. Media celebrities like rappers Snoop Dogg, Chali 2na, and T-Pain, singers Jackie Tohn and "Weird Al" Yankovic, actors J.B. Smoove and Gary Anthony Williams, and the comedy duo Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have also appeared in the series. On July 3, 2013, "Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney" became the first of its singles to be certified Gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in the United States. 10 other singles, "Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader", "Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking", "Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare", "Master Chief vs. Leonidas", "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates", "Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig van Beethoven", "Mario Brothers vs. Wright Brothers", "Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers", "Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris", and "Hitler vs. Vader 2", were subsequently certified Gold as well. The idea for historical figures rapping against each other was conceived by Ahlquist, who pitched the idea to Shukoff as an improvised show titled "Check OneTwo"; both were working in improv at the time along with Zach Sherwin, who would later become a regular guest on the series. They were met with high levels of difficulty at first and decided that the concept would fare much better as a YouTube series than an improv show The first three rap battles were each shot on a $50 budget. Before the web series existed on YouTube, Shukoff and Ahlquist recorded their first song, which was a battle between Child's Play antagonist Chucky and actor Michael J. Fox. The song was freestyle and poorly made; as a result, it was not released to the public. On September 26, 2010, the first rap battle was uploaded to YouTube, featuring Shukoff as John Lennon and Ahlquist as Bill O'Reilly. The 15th episode, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD", marked the end of the first season. This battle pitted Ahlquist and Shukoff against each other with cameos from all of the characters they had played over the 14 prior episodes. At the end of the battle, KassemGarrives and convinces Peter and Lloyd to continue the battles on their own channel. Epic Rap Battles of History later returned on December 8, 2011, hosted on their new channel (moving from Shukoff's personal channel), ERB, with behind-the-scenes videos on their second channel, ERB2. Shukoff and Maker Studios also created the official website for the series, where fans could vote on winners for each video, and read short comical autobiographies by each character. On September 27, 2012, following a four-month pause after the "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates" episode, a video was released on the series' YouTube channel where Ahlquist (voicing to an animation of Theodore Roosevelt) announced that new episodes would be released every two weeks until the Christmas holidays, starting with the 22nd episode "Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury" (aired on October 1, 2012). "Moses vs. Santa Claus", aired on December 10, 2012, was the last battle before taking a break for the holidays. On February 17, 2013, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for five Streamy Awards, winning four of them. Shukoff and Ahlquist also performed part of the Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates battle live. On September 9, 2013, ERB uploaded a trailer video on their channel announcing that Epic Rap Battles of History would return on October 7, 2013 for a third season. On October 14, ERB released a second video with Ahlquist voicing Theodore Roosevelt, who announced the upcoming season's schedule. The third season went on hiatus after the release of "Donald Trump vs. Ebenezer Scrooge" on December 19, 2013. In March 2014, an episode of Shukoff's weekly show The Monday Show, published on March 11, and a third announcement video of Epic Rap Battles of History News, published on March 18, confirmed that Season 3 would continue on May 5, 2014. "Weird" Al Yankovic, Smosh, and Rhett and Link were also confirmed as guest appearances. The third season concluded with the release of "Artists vs. TMNT" on July 14, 2014, where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles battled their European renaissance artist namesakes. On September 30, 2014, a teaser video for the fourth season of Epic Rap Battles of History, featuring the Ghostbusters and MythBusters, was released; the series returned on November 10, 2014 with its 46th episode, "Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters". This season also marked the first animated battle: "Zeus vs Thor", which was animated entirely with Lego bricks and minifigures; Forrest Whaley served as animation director. On December 15, 2014, when "Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock" was released, the fourth season went on hiatus. The season continued on May 25, 2015 and concluded with the release of the season finale, "Jim Henson vs. Stan Lee", on August 3, 2015. It was confirmed in a podcast by Shukoff that there would be a fifth season, with pre-production starting in November 2015 once they came back from the world tour. On December 16, the first off-season battle was released, entitled, "Deadpool vs. Boba Fett." On February 26, 2016, it was announced that Season 5 would begin on May 2, 2016, and on March 22 it was announced that production had begun. Season 5 officially began on May 2, 2016, with the release of the first battle of the season, "George R. R. Martin vs. J. R. R. Tolkien". ERB released battles every other Monday as of the first half of Season 5. On July 12, 2016, "Alexander the Great vs. Ivan the Terrible" was released. This marked the midseason break. Ahlquist later confirmed they were planning to return mid to late October. Filming began for the second half of Season 5 on September 23. On October 26, Season 5 resumed with "Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton". The final episode of Season 5, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2" was released on January 9, 2017, where Ahlquist and Shukoff battle against each other once again, as it is a sequel to the Season 1 finale. Following the fifth season, ERB went on an extended hiatus. In 2016, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for an Emmy Award in the newly initiated category Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Short Form Variety Series at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards. In 2018, Shukoff announced there would be a sixth season during a performance at Anime Midwest. On November 30, 2018, a video was posted on the official ERB YouTube channel, confirming that Season 6 will premiere in 2019. A "bonus battle" between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg was released on December 7, 2018. In December 2018, Ahlquist said that they had gone "fully independent" of their production company. On April 20, 2019, the Season 6 premiere ("Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine") was released. ERB once again went on hiatus in December, after "Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer". After a 10 month hiatus, ERB returned, with their third election rap battle, "Donald Trump vs Joe Biden". On December 5, 2020, Ahlquist stated in a Behind The Scenes video for their next battle, "Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker" (their second Lego-animated collaboration with Forrest Whaley), that as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, ERB would be transitioning from Season 6 to Season 7 earlier than expected, rather than further postpone Season 6. Several planned battles and concepts will be holdovers from Season 6. Source: Wikipedia
Epic rap battles of history! Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius! Versus! Nietzsche, Socrates, and Voltaire! Begin! I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention Rolling with the flyest nihilist And me, their French henchman We got the wisdom And the wit That even I couldn't question Dropping Western medicine On these East infections It's evident You've never been Our type of mental brethren We're better Thinkers Better speakers Better lovers Better men This type of arrogance is sure to be expected From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations We filled a nation With patience And the presence For living And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kow-tow to When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu You need to take control of the life you're given They call me Übermensch, cause I'm so driven And I'm a freethinker So confronting conformists like you? It's my job Got a sharp wit Like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebab (Oh!) You flubbed the mission I'm beating your submissive ass into submission Dishing out more disses than letters and Pamphlets and plays I've been publishing Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins I can move onto Jackie Chan Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man This seminal general isn't so tough on the mic All your men must be like, "yo, what happened?" You're pitiful lyrically Lucky for history, you didn't author the Art of Rapping Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now the Sun's out Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS Laozi, kick the beat, now Confucius, drop some bars Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire French drip with the egg noodle hair Your ego's just so distracting Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping And you killed God, so I gotta ask Did he die of shame when he made your moustache? You try to plan a new German psyche But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy And it all starts with you, you're the father, Socrates Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick Sacrebleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense Come, let's blind these Chinese Hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee Let me be frank, don't start beef with The Frank Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity You must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty Ugh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today I'll make you move, bitch, get out the way Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written That two dudes on the same team Should squabble like some clucking chickens? Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in its place Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that? I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat So here's the real golden rule, I'm way above you weak rookies Confucius say You can all hold these fortune cookies! What is winning? Who is next? You decide! Epic! Quiet! Rap battles of history! ‘Eastern Philiosphers vs Western Philosophers’ by Epic Rap Battles (ERB) Songwriters: Lloyd Leonard Ahlquist / Peter Shukoff / Dante Michael Cimadamore The Western Philosophers: Socrates: I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium. (The Acropolis of Athens is where Socrates taught. A pandemonium is a wild uproar or unrestrained disorder and a word originating from Ancient Greek. Basically, Socrates is starting the battle with an uproar.) Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium! (Symposium, in this case, has two meanings. Firstly, it is a conference-like meeting to discuss a particular topic, usually involving lectures and panels so people can learn more about certain subjects. Secondly, a symposium was a drinking party held in Ancient Greece and was also the title of a work by Plato, Socrates' most famous student. Socrates is saying that the Eastern philosophers have only brought weak lyrics to battle the Western philosophers who are assembled to "pimp slap" (backhand slap) the Eastern philosophers and educate them, like a symposium might. The second Greek usage is used as a pun and reference to Socrates coming from Greece.) The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention! (Socrates is often known as the father of philosophy. He had the habit of making people aware of their own ignorance by asking them to explain the meaning of things they thought they knew, such as justice or piety. Because of this, he was described by his student Plato as a "gadfly", annoying the placid Athenian citizens like a gadfly annoys the horses.) Nietzsche: Rolling with the flyest nihilist, (Nietzsche introduces himself. A nihilist is someone who follows nihilism, which is the belief that all religious and moral values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. Nietzsche was known to be one of these, so he calls himself the flyest one, or the most superior.) Voltaire: And me, their French henchman! (Voltaire follows by introducing himself as well. Voltaire was born in France, so he interjects by saying he's the French member of the group and, being the more optimistic, lighthearted and freethinking of the three, is humble by titling himself as a henchman of the other two.) The Western Philosophers: We've got the wisdom and the wit that even I couldn't question! (As stated above, Socrates made a habit of questioning the supposed knowledge people had. An idea often associated with him is that the wisest man is the one who's aware of his own ignorance. Here, however, he claims that not even he will question the fact that his team has wisdom and wit.) Dropping Western medicine on these East infections! (Western minds of the past made many important discoveries in medicine. The West will use their advantage in medicinal knowledge to remove the Eastern philosophers, who they claim are a disease. This is also a play on words, as a yeast infection is an illness in which the yeast Candida, normally symbiotic in the human body, goes into overgrowth and causes a range of symptoms, such as thrush and varying degrees of irritation in both genders. This may also be comparing the traditional style of Western medicine which is founded upon biological and chemical research into curing diseases scientifically and originated in Greece, while traditional Eastern medicine is based around herbs and remedies passed down through generations and comes from ancient China. The Westerners could be saying that things like Eastern medicine and philosophy are based around tradition while their Western counterparts involve actual thought.) It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren! (The Western team states that it is obvious the Eastern team isn't on the same level of intelligence as them.) We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men! (This line says the Western team is superior in every way, including philosophical thinking, giving speeches, sexual prowess, and more advanced as humans in general. The philosopher that says each quality is also significant. Nietzsche was primarily known of all things to be an incredible thinker while Socrates gave many speeches to his students and Voltaire was known for being rather suave and had frequent sex with many women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Confucius: This type of arrogance is sure to be expected (The Eastern philosophers were expecting the Western philosophers to boast as they just did. Confucius also once said, "The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." This implies a person is more in deeds than in words, and saying the Western philosophers' boasting aren't effective; the reason is explained in the next line.) From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is! (They believe the Western philosophers are disrespectful, which makes them unwise and disgraceful. Showing respect for others is an important part of Eastern culture. Confucius once said that one should respect one's ancestor; since the Eastern philosophers are older than the Western philosophers, Confucius suggests the West should respect the East, rather than dis them.) Lao Tzu: You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life. (Lao Tzu's philosophy was to have discipline in life, to follow the flow of life, and have everything balanced. He says that the Westerners are sloppy from not following this lifestyle.) You lack control of yourselves and of the mic, (As previously stated, the Western team cannot control themselves nor have balance according to the Eastern philosophers, and the same goes for when they are rapping. "Lack of mic control" in rap terms is to have bad raps. Also, one of Nietzsche's teachings was having control of your own life.) Sun Tzu: While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration! (Sun Tzu's philosophy talks about precision as an important factor during war, and they will use that tactic in the battle.) Confucius: Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations! (Honoring one's ancestors is one of the bases of Confucius' teachings. Here, he claims that his and his teammates' descendants will be proud of the fact that their ancestors won this rap battle.) The Eastern Philosophers: We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living, (The Eastern philosophers believe that they have made their nation, China, a better place with their teachings, which students in China continue to learn.) And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written! (Holding a candle to something/one is to say that nothing can ever be as good as it. The East claim that the West's influence isn't even close to the philosophy that the Eastern team has written, such as the Analects, the Tao Te Ching, and The Art of War. Additionally, while the Analects was actually written by his students, Confucius authored four of the "Five Classics", known as the Classic of Poetry, the Book of Documents, the Book of Rites, and Spring and Autumn Annals.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to ("Kautau (叩頭)" (sometimes Westernized as "kowtow") is the Chinese act of kneeling and bowing one's head so that it touches the ground in order to show deep respect and reverence; the Eastern philosophers do this at the end of their verse. Nietzsche is saying he will do something that they will have no choice but to respect, continued in the next line.) When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu! (The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff, is a book that is meant to explain the Eastern philosophy of Taoism to Western society using the characters from Winnie-the-Pooh. "Pooh" or "poo" is another term for feces, and to "shit on" someone is to diss or demoralize them. Continuing from the previous line, Nietzsche is saying he will take a shit on, or insult and demoralize, Lao Tzu.) You need to take control of the life you're given! (One of Nietzsche's teachings was based on the concept of free will or having control of your own life. In contrast, one of the primary doctrines of Taoism is the concept of wu-wei, which, in essential, teaches letting go of control and letting life take you on a natural course to achieve harmony. Nietzsche states that Lao Tzu's teachings are, in fact, invalid.) They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven! ("Übermensch", German for "beyond-human", is a concept created by Nietzsche. In his book Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra), Nietzsche describes the Übermensch as one who is driven to seek meaning in their current life, in contrast with the acceptance advocated by Taoism. This is also a pun on Uber, a company that offers car rides and would therefore make its users "driven" in a literal sense.) Voltaire: And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job! (Freethinking is a philosophical viewpoint which believes that truths should be formed on the basis of logic and reason rather than authority and conformity, a concept that was central to the Enlightenment period, during which Voltaire wrote. Voltaire himself rejected groups that supported conformity such as the Catholic Church and the French ruling class, and therefore deems himself qualified to target Confucius, who taught conformist ideas, including adherence to tradition, obedience and respect to elders and authority, and the honoring of ancestors.) Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab! (Voltaire says he will use his sharp wit, or intelligence, to impale Confucius. A spit is a rod used to stick through meat when roasting it over a fire, i.e. making shish kebabs, or sticks with meat and vegetables on them. A lyrical pun is made with Confucius' name.) (Oh!) You flubbed the mission; I'm beating your submissive ass into submission! (Confucius was ultimately unable to have the heavily fortified walls of the Ji, Meng, and Shu families in China dismantled after many years of trying. Having failed his mission, Confucius went into self-exile for 18 years and would not return until his enemy, Viscount Ji Huan, was dead. The line could be implying that Confucius simply submitted to Huan after not reaching his goal. Voltaire says that Confucius will do the same to him.) Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing! (Apart from being a philosopher, Voltaire was also a writer. He produced many works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. He wrote more than 20,000 letters and more than 2,000 books and pamphlets, meaning he will make more insults towards his opponents than the amount of his written works combined.) Socrates: Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan! (The concept of Yin-Yang is used in Confucianism (Confucius) and Taoism (Lao Tzu). This is also a reference to the rap group, the Ying Yang Twins. Sun Tzu, in this line, is compared with action star, Jackie Chan. Chan is known for his impressive and often comedic fighting style. Socrates is saying although Sun Tzu is a mighty warrior, he finds him laughable.) Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man! (Wu (武) is the Chinese word for military, or combat-related matters, which Sun Tzu was famous for discussing in his work The Art of War. In addition, he was born, and lived, in the Chinese state of Wu. He was also said to be the minister to King Helü, the ruler of Wu. Socrates says that he will criticize or "pick apart" Sun Tzu with his Socratic method, a form of discussion named after the Greek philosopher. This line is also a reference to Method Man, an American rapper who is best known as being a member of the Wu-Tang Clan. Furthermore, it may also reference Sun Tzu's birth name, which was Sun Wu.) The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?" (Sun Tzu was a Chinese military general considered to be very influential. However, Socrates says that Sun Tzu is not very good at rapping and his soldiers will be shocked by his loss.) You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping! (Socrates goes on to describe his opponent's lyrics as pitiful. The Art of War was an ancient Chinese military work written by Sun Tzu, which described many different tactics of war. Socrates mentions that it is lucky that Sun Tzu didn't write The Art of Rapping as he believes it would mislead people, as Sun Tzu is bad at rapping.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: Bitch, I wrote The Art of War, so you better get your guns out! (Sun Tzu's biggest influence is the aforementioned The Art of War, which is a book full of tactical aspects meant for battle but is applicable on daily events. He is challenging the Westerners to start a war against him knowing he'll win even if they used firearms.) These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out! (A pun on Sun Tzu's name, comparing himself to the Sun which is very hot. To be "burned" in rap aspect is to be insulted and humiliated. Sun Tzu also calls the Western philosophers "white boys", perhaps implying they can't rap. People with fairer skin are also more susceptible to sunburn.) Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS! (To spit sick is to rap very well. This is a pun on the literal definition of "sick". Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a disease that had spread throughout southern China, causing over 8,000 reported cases and 774 deaths in a nine-month span.) Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars! (Sun Tzu, a war leader, commands his team of philosophers with a one-two attack; Lao Tzu beatboxing, referencing his actor, KRNFX, who is a beatboxer, and Confucius rapping faster.) Confucius: Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire, (This is a play on the words "candid", meaning truthful, and Candide, a French satirical novel written by Voltaire.) French drip with the egg noodle hair. (On the surface level, Voltaire is French, and "drip" is a slang term for a boring, stupid, or unenergetic person. On a deeper level, Voltaire had an extreme coffee addiction, apparently drinking 50-72 cups per day. The grégue, or "French drip" is a traditional style of coffee pot originating in colonial France. The line thus also serves to mock this addiction. Finally, Confucius mocks Voltaire's looks, saying that his hair is stringy like egg noodles.) Your ego's just so distracting. (Voltaire's previous verse consisted of him talking about himself and how supposedly witty he is, which made his lines sidetracked.) Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping! (Voltaire was a man of free speech, but even as Confucius realizes this, he mentions that he should keep quiet in this battle.) And you killed God, so I gotta ask: (Nietzsche is popular for his quote, "God is dead", and how mankind killed Him as a race, so Confucius asks him a question on this in the next line.) Did he die of shame when he made your mustache? (Confucius disses Nietzsche's unique mustache, as it is big and bushy, by saying God would have died of shame because of how horrible it looks.) You tried to plant a new German psyche, (Nietzsche's main goal was to spread his ideas and philosophy to share it with his fellow Germans but he failed on doing so because it was misinterpreted and changed into the basis for Nazism.) But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy! ("Me no rikey" is a stereotypical phrase used to mock Chinese people learning English, as they often cannot pronounce the "L" sound properly. It literally means "I don't like this". Confucius makes a pun on the "Third Reich", another way of saying Nazi Germany, and the aforementioned phrase, stating that Nietzsche inspired hatred as he was an influence for Adolf Hitler. However, Nietzsche was vehemently against antisemitism, proof being letters he wrote to his sister, where he lambasted her for her backwards views on the Jews. Also, that very same sister reappropriated his work for the Nazi cause.) Sun Tzu: And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates! (Socrates is often thought of as the father of modern thought, with many philosophers following his ideals.) Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology! (Since Socrates is billed as the one who started philosophy in the West, he is also to blame for the implied failures of Nietzsche and Voltaire. This verse also references Plato's Apology, an account of Socrates' trial and how he defended himself against the charges.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe. (Plebe, or plebian, is a Greek term which refers to a poor citizen. Nietzsche is calling Socrates a poor citizen of no importance. It's worth noting that Nietzsche didn't hold Socrates' philosophy in high regard, which is why he was offended by Sun Tzu referring to him and Voltaire as Socrates' students. This line will end up being important later on.) Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi! (Chi (氣) is the Chinese word for life flow. Nietzsche is saying that he will knee Sun Tzu in his crotch. Additionally, "knee" and "chi" together form a pun on Nietzsche's name.) 'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E, (Nietzsche spells out his name as a set-up for his next line.) And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee! (Nietzsche would be a very hard word to spell in a spelling bee, due to the fact that it is pronounced as /NEET-shuh/, very different to how it is actually spelled. Nietzsche is essentially saying that anyone facing him will fail the same way they would if they had to spell out his name.) Socrates: Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip! (Socrates, now angered by Nietzsche's line in which he calls him a plebe, doesn't believe he is a plebe, claiming his raps are toxic like hemlock, a poisonous drink that was given to him during his execution and killed him with a sip.) Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick! (Socrates is referencing the practice of placing a sock or a rubber band on a door knob (typically in a college dorm setting) in order to inform others that the person inside the room is having sex, and thus to not enter. Since Socrates is from Ancient Greece and did not wear proper footwear, he uses a sandal instead of a sock. He is telling Nietzsche to ask for some privacy while simultaneously telling him to suck his dick.) Voltaire: Sacré bleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense! ("Sacré bleu" is an antiquated, stereotypical French profanity which equates to "God damn it" in English. Voltaire is saying that Socrates is making things tense by arguing with Nietzsche, his teammate.) Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment! (Continuing his attempt to cease the argument between Nietzsche and Socrates, he reminds them that they must rap battle the Eastern philosophers, Voltaire makes a series of puns using the vocabulary of enlightenment in reference to the Enlightened (les Lumières in French), the name of Voltaire's movement of philosophers, whose motto was to "enlighten the people with logic and knowledge".) Socrates: I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery! (Voltaire exploited a monthly Paris lottery, organizing a group to collect every ticket in the city. By the time his tricks were discovered, he had amassed 1 million francs. "Frog" is a slang term for a French person, usually used in a derogatory manner. Socrates is saying that someone who cheated should not be telling others how to get along.) You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee! (Voltaire is known for his large nose and having an addiction to coffee. Socrates is saying that he should go back to drinking coffee, as he has no place in telling him what to do. This also references that Socrates taught and contributed extensively on the study of ethics. As such, he takes Voltaire's illegal behavior as a personal offense.) Voltaire: Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank, (The adjective "frank" means direct and honest, thus Voltaire is saying that he'll sum up quickly and sincerely why Socrates and Nietzsche should not challenge him. "Frank" is also a nickname for "François", Voltaire's real first name. Further, Voltaire is French and "Frank" was a nickname for a Frenchmen among the English. By referring to himself as the Frank, he is elevating himself above all Frenchmen, and even above the other philosophers in claiming himself to be an icon, the greatest of an entire nation, which they are not. Voltaire is making a pun off of this by telling Socrates that, in all honesty, he should not be picking a fight with him.) Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks! (Voltaire was a friend of Ben Franklin. Beef franks, short for "beef frankfurters", are soft sausages or hot dogs. As "sausage" can be an euphemism for "penis", Voltaire is saying that he has sex with a lot of women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity! (Sun Tzu references one of the quotes in The Art of War: "In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity". As an experienced general and tactician, Sun Tzu managed to exploit his opponents' weakness and cause them to fight among themselves. He claims this will give his team an advantage, i.e. an opportunity to win the battle. In the battle, he also snuck up on the Western philosophers fighting, referencing the fact that he valued the use of espionage to help win wars and dedicated an entire chapter of his book to it.) Lao Tzu: We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty. (Lao Tzu references one of his famous quotes: "Mold clay to form a bowl; it is the empty space which makes the bowl useful", suggesting that the convenient opportunity they have been given to strike against their quarreling opponents is very helpful. During this line in the video, Confucius can also be seen showing respect by nodding his head, since Confucius was Lao Tzu's student in real life.) Sun Tzu: (Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, (Sun Tzu doesn't mean to insult Lao Tzu, as the Eastern Philosophers had previously cited the importance of respect. However…) But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense! (…Sun counters Lao's former line, saying that to make better use of said bowl is to fill it with better logic as an empty bowl being useful doesn't make sense to Sun Tzu. It is also a play on words that Lao is full of bull (bowl) shit.) Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. (Lao Tzu is telling Sun Tzu not to attack his philosophy. The Tao is referred to as a path in Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, as Tao (道) also means a road in Chinese. In Taoism, it also mentions that you should go with the flow but this time…) I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way! (…he will move Sun Tzu instead of letting things be. Lao Tzu also tells Sun Tzu to step off by making a direct reference to Move Bitch (Get Out the Way), a song by Ludacris. He also references the book that he wrote titled, Tao Te Ching or The Way of Life.) Confucius: Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written (Confucius rhetorically asks about the structure of rap battles and how…) That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens? (…teammates in rap battles shouldn't be battling each other, comparing it to chickens squabbling. Confucius refers to the term as tradition, as the one of him teaching is about following the tradition and ritual, or li (禮). As stated in the Analects by Confucius, the quote "In the application of the rites, harmony is to be prized" implies one should not argue over small things. Furthermore, Confucius also wrote a book titled the Book of Rites, which is a compiled collection of texts describing social forms, administration, and ceremonial rites.) Sun Tzu: Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place. (To "put someone/thing in its place" means to make them more humble or less arrogant. Confucius taught the propriety of social relationships, emphasizing that one must act accordingly to his or her position in society and life. An example of this comes from one of his quotes, "Let the king be a king, the minister a minister, the father a father and the son a son". He also had considerable political power and influence. Sun Tzu is telling Confucius that he has control issues, but if he wishes to control things so badly…) Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? (…then he should start by getting his eyebrows under control. Confucius is known for having large eyebrows in sketches and portraits that droop down the side of his face.) Confucius: Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that? (Confucius understands that Sun Tzu is looking for a fight and he's willing to give him one.) I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat! (A warmonger is a person who advocates war, as Sun Tzu's teaching indirectly lead to a lot of war in later times. In some Western countries, Chinese restaurants offer Chinese takeout which are usually served in a special takeout box. Confucius mocks Sun Tzu's hat by saying that it looks like a Chinese takeout box and he also says that he will smack him so hard that his hat will fall off; in addition, he says Sun Tzu is a warmonger, which is often seen as being barbaric.) So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies! (Confucius came up with the Golden Rule (恕道), which states, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". What Confucius says here is that Sun Tzu should not dis him, as now Confucius disses him back. Also, both Confucius and Lao Tzu had come up with the Golden Rule in their respective philosophy, Confucianism and Taoism. Here, he claims that the actual golden rule is that he is the better of both Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu, and that Lao Tzu's Golden Rule is wrong.) Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies! (Confucius Says is a meme (also called Wise Confucius) referring to the way that Confucius speaks in his writings. At first glance, the upper half of the image impersonates Confucius giving sage advice, but the lower half reveals it to be the set up of a pun. "Holding fortune cookies" means everyone in the battle can hold Confucius's balls, mainly because they're lower than him. Fortune cookies are assumed by many to be Chinese but they were actually created in Kyoto, Japan.) Source: ERBH Wiki Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) is a YouTube web series and music project created by Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff and Lloyd "EpicLLOYD" Ahlquist. The series pits historical and pop culture figures against one another in a rap battle format. The characters portrayed are often determined by suggestions from viewers in the comments sections of the channel's videos. Shukoff and Ahlquist write each song themselves, researching the subject in order to find obscure details to use as references in the lyrics. As of August 2, 2020, the channel has over 14.6 million subscribers and approximately 3.527 billion total video views. Following an extended hiatus, the channel returned with a bonus battle in December 2018, and the sixth season debuted on April 20, 2019. Although early episodes of the series featured only Shukoff and Ahlquist, later episodes have regularly featured guest appearances, and other internet celebrities such as Dan Bull, Lisa Donovan, Timothy DeLaGhetto, George Watsky, DeStorm Power, Jesse Wellens, PewDiePie, Jenna Marbles, Lilly Singh, Ray William Johnson, Rhett and Link, and Smosh. Media celebrities like rappers Snoop Dogg, Chali 2na, and T-Pain, singers Jackie Tohn and "Weird Al" Yankovic, actors J.B. Smoove and Gary Anthony Williams, and the comedy duo Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have also appeared in the series. On July 3, 2013, "Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney" became the first of its singles to be certified Gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in the United States. 10 other singles, "Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader", "Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking", "Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare", "Master Chief vs. Leonidas", "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates", "Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig van Beethoven", "Mario Brothers vs. Wright Brothers", "Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers", "Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris", and "Hitler vs. Vader 2", were subsequently certified Gold as well. The idea for historical figures rapping against each other was conceived by Ahlquist, who pitched the idea to Shukoff as an improvised show titled "Check OneTwo"; both were working in improv at the time along with Zach Sherwin, who would later become a regular guest on the series. They were met with high levels of difficulty at first and decided that the concept would fare much better as a YouTube series than an improv show The first three rap battles were each shot on a $50 budget. Before the web series existed on YouTube, Shukoff and Ahlquist recorded their first song, which was a battle between Child's Play antagonist Chucky and actor Michael J. Fox. The song was freestyle and poorly made; as a result, it was not released to the public. On September 26, 2010, the first rap battle was uploaded to YouTube, featuring Shukoff as John Lennon and Ahlquist as Bill O'Reilly. The 15th episode, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD", marked the end of the first season. This battle pitted Ahlquist and Shukoff against each other with cameos from all of the characters they had played over the 14 prior episodes. At the end of the battle, KassemGarrives and convinces Peter and Lloyd to continue the battles on their own channel. Epic Rap Battles of History later returned on December 8, 2011, hosted on their new channel (moving from Shukoff's personal channel), ERB, with behind-the-scenes videos on their second channel, ERB2. Shukoff and Maker Studios also created the official website for the series, where fans could vote on winners for each video, and read short comical autobiographies by each character. On September 27, 2012, following a four-month pause after the "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates" episode, a video was released on the series' YouTube channel where Ahlquist (voicing to an animation of Theodore Roosevelt) announced that new episodes would be released every two weeks until the Christmas holidays, starting with the 22nd episode "Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury" (aired on October 1, 2012). "Moses vs. Santa Claus", aired on December 10, 2012, was the last battle before taking a break for the holidays. On February 17, 2013, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for five Streamy Awards, winning four of them. Shukoff and Ahlquist also performed part of the Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates battle live. On September 9, 2013, ERB uploaded a trailer video on their channel announcing that Epic Rap Battles of History would return on October 7, 2013 for a third season. On October 14, ERB released a second video with Ahlquist voicing Theodore Roosevelt, who announced the upcoming season's schedule. The third season went on hiatus after the release of "Donald Trump vs. Ebenezer Scrooge" on December 19, 2013. In March 2014, an episode of Shukoff's weekly show The Monday Show, published on March 11, and a third announcement video of Epic Rap Battles of History News, published on March 18, confirmed that Season 3 would continue on May 5, 2014. "Weird" Al Yankovic, Smosh, and Rhett and Link were also confirmed as guest appearances. The third season concluded with the release of "Artists vs. TMNT" on July 14, 2014, where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles battled their European renaissance artist namesakes. On September 30, 2014, a teaser video for the fourth season of Epic Rap Battles of History, featuring the Ghostbusters and MythBusters, was released; the series returned on November 10, 2014 with its 46th episode, "Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters". This season also marked the first animated battle: "Zeus vs Thor", which was animated entirely with Lego bricks and minifigures; Forrest Whaley served as animation director. On December 15, 2014, when "Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock" was released, the fourth season went on hiatus. The season continued on May 25, 2015 and concluded with the release of the season finale, "Jim Henson vs. Stan Lee", on August 3, 2015. It was confirmed in a podcast by Shukoff that there would be a fifth season, with pre-production starting in November 2015 once they came back from the world tour. On December 16, the first off-season battle was released, entitled, "Deadpool vs. Boba Fett." On February 26, 2016, it was announced that Season 5 would begin on May 2, 2016, and on March 22 it was announced that production had begun. Season 5 officially began on May 2, 2016, with the release of the first battle of the season, "George R. R. Martin vs. J. R. R. Tolkien". ERB released battles every other Monday as of the first half of Season 5. On July 12, 2016, "Alexander the Great vs. Ivan the Terrible" was released. This marked the midseason break. Ahlquist later confirmed they were planning to return mid to late October. Filming began for the second half of Season 5 on September 23. On October 26, Season 5 resumed with "Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton". The final episode of Season 5, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2" was released on January 9, 2017, where Ahlquist and Shukoff battle against each other once again, as it is a sequel to the Season 1 finale. Following the fifth season, ERB went on an extended hiatus. In 2016, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for an Emmy Award in the newly initiated category Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Short Form Variety Series at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards. In 2018, Shukoff announced there would be a sixth season during a performance at Anime Midwest. On November 30, 2018, a video was posted on the official ERB YouTube channel, confirming that Season 6 will premiere in 2019. A "bonus battle" between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg was released on December 7, 2018. In December 2018, Ahlquist said that they had gone "fully independent" of their production company. On April 20, 2019, the Season 6 premiere ("Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine") was released. ERB once again went on hiatus in December, after "Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer". After a 10 month hiatus, ERB returned, with their third election rap battle, "Donald Trump vs Joe Biden". On December 5, 2020, Ahlquist stated in a Behind The Scenes video for their next battle, "Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker" (their second Lego-animated collaboration with Forrest Whaley), that as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, ERB would be transitioning from Season 6 to Season 7 earlier than expected, rather than further postpone Season 6. Several planned battles and concepts will be holdovers from Season 6. Source: Wikipedia
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Epic rap battles of history! Lao Tzu, Sun Tzu, and Confucius! Versus! Nietzsche, Socrates, and Voltaire! Begin! I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention Rolling with the flyest nihilist And me, their French henchman We got the wisdom And the wit That even I couldn't question Dropping Western medicine On these East infections It's evident You've never been Our type of mental brethren We're better Thinkers Better speakers Better lovers Better men This type of arrogance is sure to be expected From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is You westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life You lack control of yourselves, and of the mic While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations We filled a nation With patience And the presence For living And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kow-tow to When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu You need to take control of the life you're given They call me Übermensch, cause I'm so driven And I'm a freethinker So confronting conformists like you? It's my job Got a sharp wit Like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish-kebab (Oh!) You flubbed the mission I'm beating your submissive ass into submission Dishing out more disses than letters and Pamphlets and plays I've been publishing Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins I can move onto Jackie Chan Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man This seminal general isn't so tough on the mic All your men must be like, "yo, what happened?" You're pitiful lyrically Lucky for history, you didn't author the Art of Rapping Bitch, I wrote the Art of War so you better get your guns out These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now the Sun's out Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS Laozi, kick the beat, now Confucius, drop some bars Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire French drip with the egg noodle hair Your ego's just so distracting Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping And you killed God, so I gotta ask Did he die of shame when he made your moustache? You try to plan a new German psyche But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy And it all starts with you, you're the father, Socrates Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick Sacrebleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense Come, let's blind these Chinese Hinies with some shiny bright enlightenment I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee Let me be frank, don't start beef with The Frank Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks I have turned them on themselves, their chaos is our opportunity You must remember, a bowl is most useful when it is empty Ugh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense Oh, you don't want to stand in the path of Lao Tzu today I'll make you move, bitch, get out the way Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written That two dudes on the same team Should squabble like some clucking chickens? Man, Confucius, you always trying to put something in its place Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? Okay, I see, you wanna make it like that? I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat So here's the real golden rule, I'm way above you weak rookies Confucius say You can all hold these fortune cookies! What is winning? Who is next? You decide! Epic! Quiet! Rap battles of history! ‘Eastern Philiosphers vs Western Philosophers’ by Epic Rap Battles (ERB) Songwriters: Lloyd Leonard Ahlquist / Peter Shukoff / Dante Michael Cimadamore The Western Philosophers: Socrates: I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium. (The Acropolis of Athens is where Socrates taught. A pandemonium is a wild uproar or unrestrained disorder and a word originating from Ancient Greek. Basically, Socrates is starting the battle with an uproar.) Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium! (Symposium, in this case, has two meanings. Firstly, it is a conference-like meeting to discuss a particular topic, usually involving lectures and panels so people can learn more about certain subjects. Secondly, a symposium was a drinking party held in Ancient Greece and was also the title of a work by Plato, Socrates' most famous student. Socrates is saying that the Eastern philosophers have only brought weak lyrics to battle the Western philosophers who are assembled to "pimp slap" (backhand slap) the Eastern philosophers and educate them, like a symposium might. The second Greek usage is used as a pun and reference to Socrates coming from Greece.) The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention! (Socrates is often known as the father of philosophy. He had the habit of making people aware of their own ignorance by asking them to explain the meaning of things they thought they knew, such as justice or piety. Because of this, he was described by his student Plato as a "gadfly", annoying the placid Athenian citizens like a gadfly annoys the horses.) Nietzsche: Rolling with the flyest nihilist, (Nietzsche introduces himself. A nihilist is someone who follows nihilism, which is the belief that all religious and moral values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. Nietzsche was known to be one of these, so he calls himself the flyest one, or the most superior.) Voltaire: And me, their French henchman! (Voltaire follows by introducing himself as well. Voltaire was born in France, so he interjects by saying he's the French member of the group and, being the more optimistic, lighthearted and freethinking of the three, is humble by titling himself as a henchman of the other two.) The Western Philosophers: We've got the wisdom and the wit that even I couldn't question! (As stated above, Socrates made a habit of questioning the supposed knowledge people had. An idea often associated with him is that the wisest man is the one who's aware of his own ignorance. Here, however, he claims that not even he will question the fact that his team has wisdom and wit.) Dropping Western medicine on these East infections! (Western minds of the past made many important discoveries in medicine. The West will use their advantage in medicinal knowledge to remove the Eastern philosophers, who they claim are a disease. This is also a play on words, as a yeast infection is an illness in which the yeast Candida, normally symbiotic in the human body, goes into overgrowth and causes a range of symptoms, such as thrush and varying degrees of irritation in both genders. This may also be comparing the traditional style of Western medicine which is founded upon biological and chemical research into curing diseases scientifically and originated in Greece, while traditional Eastern medicine is based around herbs and remedies passed down through generations and comes from ancient China. The Westerners could be saying that things like Eastern medicine and philosophy are based around tradition while their Western counterparts involve actual thought.) It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren! (The Western team states that it is obvious the Eastern team isn't on the same level of intelligence as them.) We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men! (This line says the Western team is superior in every way, including philosophical thinking, giving speeches, sexual prowess, and more advanced as humans in general. The philosopher that says each quality is also significant. Nietzsche was primarily known of all things to be an incredible thinker while Socrates gave many speeches to his students and Voltaire was known for being rather suave and had frequent sex with many women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Confucius: This type of arrogance is sure to be expected (The Eastern philosophers were expecting the Western philosophers to boast as they just did. Confucius also once said, "The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." This implies a person is more in deeds than in words, and saying the Western philosophers' boasting aren't effective; the reason is explained in the next line.) From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is! (They believe the Western philosophers are disrespectful, which makes them unwise and disgraceful. Showing respect for others is an important part of Eastern culture. Confucius once said that one should respect one's ancestor; since the Eastern philosophers are older than the Western philosophers, Confucius suggests the West should respect the East, rather than dis them.) Lao Tzu: You Westerners are sloppy, needing discipline in life. (Lao Tzu's philosophy was to have discipline in life, to follow the flow of life, and have everything balanced. He says that the Westerners are sloppy from not following this lifestyle.) You lack control of yourselves and of the mic, (As previously stated, the Western team cannot control themselves nor have balance according to the Eastern philosophers, and the same goes for when they are rapping. "Lack of mic control" in rap terms is to have bad raps. Also, one of Nietzsche's teachings was having control of your own life.) Sun Tzu: While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentration! (Sun Tzu's philosophy talks about precision as an important factor during war, and they will use that tactic in the battle.) Confucius: Hand you an ass-whipping our descendants will honor for generations! (Honoring one's ancestors is one of the bases of Confucius' teachings. Here, he claims that his and his teammates' descendants will be proud of the fact that their ancestors won this rap battle.) The Eastern Philosophers: We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living, (The Eastern philosophers believe that they have made their nation, China, a better place with their teachings, which students in China continue to learn.) And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written! (Holding a candle to something/one is to say that nothing can ever be as good as it. The East claim that the West's influence isn't even close to the philosophy that the Eastern team has written, such as the Analects, the Tao Te Ching, and The Art of War. Additionally, while the Analects was actually written by his students, Confucius authored four of the "Five Classics", known as the Classic of Poetry, the Book of Documents, the Book of Rites, and Spring and Autumn Annals.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kowtow to ("Kautau (叩頭)" (sometimes Westernized as "kowtow") is the Chinese act of kneeling and bowing one's head so that it touches the ground in order to show deep respect and reverence; the Eastern philosophers do this at the end of their verse. Nietzsche is saying he will do something that they will have no choice but to respect, continued in the next line.) When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao of Pooh on Lao Tzu! (The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff, is a book that is meant to explain the Eastern philosophy of Taoism to Western society using the characters from Winnie-the-Pooh. "Pooh" or "poo" is another term for feces, and to "shit on" someone is to diss or demoralize them. Continuing from the previous line, Nietzsche is saying he will take a shit on, or insult and demoralize, Lao Tzu.) You need to take control of the life you're given! (One of Nietzsche's teachings was based on the concept of free will or having control of your own life. In contrast, one of the primary doctrines of Taoism is the concept of wu-wei, which, in essential, teaches letting go of control and letting life take you on a natural course to achieve harmony. Nietzsche states that Lao Tzu's teachings are, in fact, invalid.) They call me Übermensch 'cause I'm so driven! ("Übermensch", German for "beyond-human", is a concept created by Nietzsche. In his book Also Sprach Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra), Nietzsche describes the Übermensch as one who is driven to seek meaning in their current life, in contrast with the acceptance advocated by Taoism. This is also a pun on Uber, a company that offers car rides and would therefore make its users "driven" in a literal sense.) Voltaire: And I'm a freethinker, so confronting conformists like you? It's my job! (Freethinking is a philosophical viewpoint which believes that truths should be formed on the basis of logic and reason rather than authority and conformity, a concept that was central to the Enlightenment period, during which Voltaire wrote. Voltaire himself rejected groups that supported conformity such as the Catholic Church and the French ruling class, and therefore deems himself qualified to target Confucius, who taught conformist ideas, including adherence to tradition, obedience and respect to elders and authority, and the honoring of ancestors.) Got a sharp wit like a spit that'll skewer you like a Confu-shish kebab! (Voltaire says he will use his sharp wit, or intelligence, to impale Confucius. A spit is a rod used to stick through meat when roasting it over a fire, i.e. making shish kebabs, or sticks with meat and vegetables on them. A lyrical pun is made with Confucius' name.) (Oh!) You flubbed the mission; I'm beating your submissive ass into submission! (Confucius was ultimately unable to have the heavily fortified walls of the Ji, Meng, and Shu families in China dismantled after many years of trying. Having failed his mission, Confucius went into self-exile for 18 years and would not return until his enemy, Viscount Ji Huan, was dead. The line could be implying that Confucius simply submitted to Huan after not reaching his goal. Voltaire says that Confucius will do the same to him.) Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing! (Apart from being a philosopher, Voltaire was also a writer. He produced many works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. He wrote more than 20,000 letters and more than 2,000 books and pamphlets, meaning he will make more insults towards his opponents than the amount of his written works combined.) Socrates: Now that we've covered the two Yin and Yang twins, I can move on to Jackie Chan! (The concept of Yin-Yang is used in Confucianism (Confucius) and Taoism (Lao Tzu). This is also a reference to the rap group, the Ying Yang Twins. Sun Tzu, in this line, is compared with action star, Jackie Chan. Chan is known for his impressive and often comedic fighting style. Socrates is saying although Sun Tzu is a mighty warrior, he finds him laughable.) Sun Tzu, I'll be picking apart your Wu with my method, man! (Wu (武) is the Chinese word for military, or combat-related matters, which Sun Tzu was famous for discussing in his work The Art of War. In addition, he was born, and lived, in the Chinese state of Wu. He was also said to be the minister to King Helü, the ruler of Wu. Socrates says that he will criticize or "pick apart" Sun Tzu with his Socratic method, a form of discussion named after the Greek philosopher. This line is also a reference to Method Man, an American rapper who is best known as being a member of the Wu-Tang Clan. Furthermore, it may also reference Sun Tzu's birth name, which was Sun Wu.) The seminal general isn't so tough on the mic; all your men must be like, "Yo, what happened?" (Sun Tzu was a Chinese military general considered to be very influential. However, Socrates says that Sun Tzu is not very good at rapping and his soldiers will be shocked by his loss.) You're pitiful lyrically. Lucky for history, you didn't author The Art of Rapping! (Socrates goes on to describe his opponent's lyrics as pitiful. The Art of War was an ancient Chinese military work written by Sun Tzu, which described many different tactics of war. Socrates mentions that it is lucky that Sun Tzu didn't write The Art of Rapping as he believes it would mislead people, as Sun Tzu is bad at rapping.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: Bitch, I wrote The Art of War, so you better get your guns out! (Sun Tzu's biggest influence is the aforementioned The Art of War, which is a book full of tactical aspects meant for battle but is applicable on daily events. He is challenging the Westerners to start a war against him knowing he'll win even if they used firearms.) These white boys getting burned 'cause guess what? Now, the Sun's out! (A pun on Sun Tzu's name, comparing himself to the Sun which is very hot. To be "burned" in rap aspect is to be insulted and humiliated. Sun Tzu also calls the Western philosophers "white boys", perhaps implying they can't rap. People with fairer skin are also more susceptible to sunburn.) Asians spitting sick, but no, this isn't SARS! (To spit sick is to rap very well. This is a pun on the literal definition of "sick". Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a disease that had spread throughout southern China, causing over 8,000 reported cases and 774 deaths in a nine-month span.) Laozi, kick the beat; now Confucius, drop some bars! (Sun Tzu, a war leader, commands his team of philosophers with a one-two attack; Lao Tzu beatboxing, referencing his actor, KRNFX, who is a beatboxer, and Confucius rapping faster.) Confucius: Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire, (This is a play on the words "candid", meaning truthful, and Candide, a French satirical novel written by Voltaire.) French drip with the egg noodle hair. (On the surface level, Voltaire is French, and "drip" is a slang term for a boring, stupid, or unenergetic person. On a deeper level, Voltaire had an extreme coffee addiction, apparently drinking 50-72 cups per day. The grégue, or "French drip" is a traditional style of coffee pot originating in colonial France. The line thus also serves to mock this addiction. Finally, Confucius mocks Voltaire's looks, saying that his hair is stringy like egg noodles.) Your ego's just so distracting. (Voltaire's previous verse consisted of him talking about himself and how supposedly witty he is, which made his lines sidetracked.) Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping! (Voltaire was a man of free speech, but even as Confucius realizes this, he mentions that he should keep quiet in this battle.) And you killed God, so I gotta ask: (Nietzsche is popular for his quote, "God is dead", and how mankind killed Him as a race, so Confucius asks him a question on this in the next line.) Did he die of shame when he made your mustache? (Confucius disses Nietzsche's unique mustache, as it is big and bushy, by saying God would have died of shame because of how horrible it looks.) You tried to plant a new German psyche, (Nietzsche's main goal was to spread his ideas and philosophy to share it with his fellow Germans but he failed on doing so because it was misinterpreted and changed into the basis for Nazism.) But you just grew hate; me no Third Reichy! ("Me no rikey" is a stereotypical phrase used to mock Chinese people learning English, as they often cannot pronounce the "L" sound properly. It literally means "I don't like this". Confucius makes a pun on the "Third Reich", another way of saying Nazi Germany, and the aforementioned phrase, stating that Nietzsche inspired hatred as he was an influence for Adolf Hitler. However, Nietzsche was vehemently against antisemitism, proof being letters he wrote to his sister, where he lambasted her for her backwards views on the Jews. Also, that very same sister reappropriated his work for the Nazi cause.) Sun Tzu: And it all starts with you: you're the father, Socrates! (Socrates is often thought of as the father of modern thought, with many philosophers following his ideals.) Honestly, I think you owe both of your students here an apology! (Since Socrates is billed as the one who started philosophy in the West, he is also to blame for the implied failures of Nietzsche and Voltaire. This verse also references Plato's Apology, an account of Socrates' trial and how he defended himself against the charges.) The Western Philosophers: Nietzsche: I wouldn't exactly call myself a student of this plebe. (Plebe, or plebian, is a Greek term which refers to a poor citizen. Nietzsche is calling Socrates a poor citizen of no importance. It's worth noting that Nietzsche didn't hold Socrates' philosophy in high regard, which is why he was offended by Sun Tzu referring to him and Voltaire as Socrates' students. This line will end up being important later on.) Don't make Nietzsche come over and put a knee up in your chi! (Chi (氣) is the Chinese word for life flow. Nietzsche is saying that he will knee Sun Tzu in his crotch. Additionally, "knee" and "chi" together form a pun on Nietzsche's name.) 'Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E, (Nietzsche spells out his name as a set-up for his next line.) And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee! (Nietzsche would be a very hard word to spell in a spelling bee, due to the fact that it is pronounced as /NEET-shuh/, very different to how it is actually spelled. Nietzsche is essentially saying that anyone facing him will fail the same way they would if they had to spell out his name.) Socrates: Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip! (Socrates, now angered by Nietzsche's line in which he calls him a plebe, doesn't believe he is a plebe, claiming his raps are toxic like hemlock, a poisonous drink that was given to him during his execution and killed him with a sip.) Hang a sandal on the door 'cause you can suck Soc's dick! (Socrates is referencing the practice of placing a sock or a rubber band on a door knob (typically in a college dorm setting) in order to inform others that the person inside the room is having sex, and thus to not enter. Since Socrates is from Ancient Greece and did not wear proper footwear, he uses a sandal instead of a sock. He is telling Nietzsche to ask for some privacy while simultaneously telling him to suck his dick.) Voltaire: Sacré bleu, Socrates! You're making things a little tense! ("Sacré bleu" is an antiquated, stereotypical French profanity which equates to "God damn it" in English. Voltaire is saying that Socrates is making things tense by arguing with Nietzsche, his teammate.) Come, let's blind these Chinese heinies with some shiny bright enlightenment! (Continuing his attempt to cease the argument between Nietzsche and Socrates, he reminds them that they must rap battle the Eastern philosophers, Voltaire makes a series of puns using the vocabulary of enlightenment in reference to the Enlightened (les Lumières in French), the name of Voltaire's movement of philosophers, whose motto was to "enlighten the people with logic and knowledge".) Socrates: I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery! (Voltaire exploited a monthly Paris lottery, organizing a group to collect every ticket in the city. By the time his tricks were discovered, he had amassed 1 million francs. "Frog" is a slang term for a French person, usually used in a derogatory manner. Socrates is saying that someone who cheated should not be telling others how to get along.) You make a mockery of ethics, so keep your fat nose in your coffee! (Voltaire is known for his large nose and having an addiction to coffee. Socrates is saying that he should go back to drinking coffee, as he has no place in telling him what to do. This also references that Socrates taught and contributed extensively on the study of ethics. As such, he takes Voltaire's illegal behavior as a personal offense.) Voltaire: Let me be frank: don't start beef with the Frank, (The adjective "frank" means direct and honest, thus Voltaire is saying that he'll sum up quickly and sincerely why Socrates and Nietzsche should not challenge him. "Frank" is also a nickname for "François", Voltaire's real first name. Further, Voltaire is French and "Frank" was a nickname for a Frenchmen among the English. By referring to himself as the Frank, he is elevating himself above all Frenchmen, and even above the other philosophers in claiming himself to be an icon, the greatest of an entire nation, which they are not. Voltaire is making a pun off of this by telling Socrates that, in all honesty, he should not be picking a fight with him.) Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks! (Voltaire was a friend of Ben Franklin. Beef franks, short for "beef frankfurters", are soft sausages or hot dogs. As "sausage" can be an euphemism for "penis", Voltaire is saying that he has sex with a lot of women.) The Eastern Philosophers: Sun Tzu: I have turned them on themselves. Their chaos is our opportunity! (Sun Tzu references one of the quotes in The Art of War: "In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity". As an experienced general and tactician, Sun Tzu managed to exploit his opponents' weakness and cause them to fight among themselves. He claims this will give his team an advantage, i.e. an opportunity to win the battle. In the battle, he also snuck up on the Western philosophers fighting, referencing the fact that he valued the use of espionage to help win wars and dedicated an entire chapter of his book to it.) Lao Tzu: We must remember: a bowl is most useful when it is empty. (Lao Tzu references one of his famous quotes: "Mold clay to form a bowl; it is the empty space which makes the bowl useful", suggesting that the convenient opportunity they have been given to strike against their quarreling opponents is very helpful. During this line in the video, Confucius can also be seen showing respect by nodding his head, since Confucius was Lao Tzu's student in real life.) Sun Tzu: (Ugh!) Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect, (Sun Tzu doesn't mean to insult Lao Tzu, as the Eastern Philosophers had previously cited the importance of respect. However…) But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense! (…Sun counters Lao's former line, saying that to make better use of said bowl is to fill it with better logic as an empty bowl being useful doesn't make sense to Sun Tzu. It is also a play on words that Lao is full of bull (bowl) shit.) Lao Tzu: Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today. (Lao Tzu is telling Sun Tzu not to attack his philosophy. The Tao is referred to as a path in Lao Tzu's Tao Te Ching, as Tao (道) also means a road in Chinese. In Taoism, it also mentions that you should go with the flow but this time…) I'll make you move, bitch. Get out the way! (…he will move Sun Tzu instead of letting things be. Lao Tzu also tells Sun Tzu to step off by making a direct reference to Move Bitch (Get Out the Way), a song by Ludacris. He also references the book that he wrote titled, Tao Te Ching or The Way of Life.) Confucius: Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written (Confucius rhetorically asks about the structure of rap battles and how…) That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens? (…teammates in rap battles shouldn't be battling each other, comparing it to chickens squabbling. Confucius refers to the term as tradition, as the one of him teaching is about following the tradition and ritual, or li (禮). As stated in the Analects by Confucius, the quote "In the application of the rites, harmony is to be prized" implies one should not argue over small things. Furthermore, Confucius also wrote a book titled the Book of Rites, which is a compiled collection of texts describing social forms, administration, and ceremonial rites.) Sun Tzu: Man, Confucius, you always try to put something in its place. (To "put someone/thing in its place" means to make them more humble or less arrogant. Confucius taught the propriety of social relationships, emphasizing that one must act accordingly to his or her position in society and life. An example of this comes from one of his quotes, "Let the king be a king, the minister a minister, the father a father and the son a son". He also had considerable political power and influence. Sun Tzu is telling Confucius that he has control issues, but if he wishes to control things so badly…) Why don't you tell your eyebrows they need to fit better on your face? (…then he should start by getting his eyebrows under control. Confucius is known for having large eyebrows in sketches and portraits that droop down the side of his face.) Confucius: Okay, I see. You wanna make it like that? (Confucius understands that Sun Tzu is looking for a fight and he's willing to give him one.) I'll smack that warmongering head out of your to-go box hat! (A warmonger is a person who advocates war, as Sun Tzu's teaching indirectly lead to a lot of war in later times. In some Western countries, Chinese restaurants offer Chinese takeout which are usually served in a special takeout box. Confucius mocks Sun Tzu's hat by saying that it looks like a Chinese takeout box and he also says that he will smack him so hard that his hat will fall off; in addition, he says Sun Tzu is a warmonger, which is often seen as being barbaric.) So here's the real golden rule: I'm way above you weak rookies! (Confucius came up with the Golden Rule (恕道), which states, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". What Confucius says here is that Sun Tzu should not dis him, as now Confucius disses him back. Also, both Confucius and Lao Tzu had come up with the Golden Rule in their respective philosophy, Confucianism and Taoism. Here, he claims that the actual golden rule is that he is the better of both Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu, and that Lao Tzu's Golden Rule is wrong.) Confucius say you can all hold these fortune cookies! (Confucius Says is a meme (also called Wise Confucius) referring to the way that Confucius speaks in his writings. At first glance, the upper half of the image impersonates Confucius giving sage advice, but the lower half reveals it to be the set up of a pun. "Holding fortune cookies" means everyone in the battle can hold Confucius's balls, mainly because they're lower than him. Fortune cookies are assumed by many to be Chinese but they were actually created in Kyoto, Japan.) Source: ERBH Wiki Epic Rap Battles of History (ERB) is a YouTube web series and music project created by Peter "Nice Peter" Shukoff and Lloyd "EpicLLOYD" Ahlquist. The series pits historical and pop culture figures against one another in a rap battle format. The characters portrayed are often determined by suggestions from viewers in the comments sections of the channel's videos. Shukoff and Ahlquist write each song themselves, researching the subject in order to find obscure details to use as references in the lyrics. As of August 2, 2020, the channel has over 14.6 million subscribers and approximately 3.527 billion total video views. Following an extended hiatus, the channel returned with a bonus battle in December 2018, and the sixth season debuted on April 20, 2019. Although early episodes of the series featured only Shukoff and Ahlquist, later episodes have regularly featured guest appearances, and other internet celebrities such as Dan Bull, Lisa Donovan, Timothy DeLaGhetto, George Watsky, DeStorm Power, Jesse Wellens, PewDiePie, Jenna Marbles, Lilly Singh, Ray William Johnson, Rhett and Link, and Smosh. Media celebrities like rappers Snoop Dogg, Chali 2na, and T-Pain, singers Jackie Tohn and "Weird Al" Yankovic, actors J.B. Smoove and Gary Anthony Williams, and the comedy duo Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have also appeared in the series. On July 3, 2013, "Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney" became the first of its singles to be certified Gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) in the United States. 10 other singles, "Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader", "Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking", "Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare", "Master Chief vs. Leonidas", "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates", "Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig van Beethoven", "Mario Brothers vs. Wright Brothers", "Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers", "Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris", and "Hitler vs. Vader 2", were subsequently certified Gold as well. The idea for historical figures rapping against each other was conceived by Ahlquist, who pitched the idea to Shukoff as an improvised show titled "Check OneTwo"; both were working in improv at the time along with Zach Sherwin, who would later become a regular guest on the series. They were met with high levels of difficulty at first and decided that the concept would fare much better as a YouTube series than an improv show The first three rap battles were each shot on a $50 budget. Before the web series existed on YouTube, Shukoff and Ahlquist recorded their first song, which was a battle between Child's Play antagonist Chucky and actor Michael J. Fox. The song was freestyle and poorly made; as a result, it was not released to the public. On September 26, 2010, the first rap battle was uploaded to YouTube, featuring Shukoff as John Lennon and Ahlquist as Bill O'Reilly. The 15th episode, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD", marked the end of the first season. This battle pitted Ahlquist and Shukoff against each other with cameos from all of the characters they had played over the 14 prior episodes. At the end of the battle, KassemGarrives and convinces Peter and Lloyd to continue the battles on their own channel. Epic Rap Battles of History later returned on December 8, 2011, hosted on their new channel (moving from Shukoff's personal channel), ERB, with behind-the-scenes videos on their second channel, ERB2. Shukoff and Maker Studios also created the official website for the series, where fans could vote on winners for each video, and read short comical autobiographies by each character. On September 27, 2012, following a four-month pause after the "Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates" episode, a video was released on the series' YouTube channel where Ahlquist (voicing to an animation of Theodore Roosevelt) announced that new episodes would be released every two weeks until the Christmas holidays, starting with the 22nd episode "Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury" (aired on October 1, 2012). "Moses vs. Santa Claus", aired on December 10, 2012, was the last battle before taking a break for the holidays. On February 17, 2013, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for five Streamy Awards, winning four of them. Shukoff and Ahlquist also performed part of the Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates battle live. On September 9, 2013, ERB uploaded a trailer video on their channel announcing that Epic Rap Battles of History would return on October 7, 2013 for a third season. On October 14, ERB released a second video with Ahlquist voicing Theodore Roosevelt, who announced the upcoming season's schedule. The third season went on hiatus after the release of "Donald Trump vs. Ebenezer Scrooge" on December 19, 2013. In March 2014, an episode of Shukoff's weekly show The Monday Show, published on March 11, and a third announcement video of Epic Rap Battles of History News, published on March 18, confirmed that Season 3 would continue on May 5, 2014. "Weird" Al Yankovic, Smosh, and Rhett and Link were also confirmed as guest appearances. The third season concluded with the release of "Artists vs. TMNT" on July 14, 2014, where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles battled their European renaissance artist namesakes. On September 30, 2014, a teaser video for the fourth season of Epic Rap Battles of History, featuring the Ghostbusters and MythBusters, was released; the series returned on November 10, 2014 with its 46th episode, "Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters". This season also marked the first animated battle: "Zeus vs Thor", which was animated entirely with Lego bricks and minifigures; Forrest Whaley served as animation director. On December 15, 2014, when "Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock" was released, the fourth season went on hiatus. The season continued on May 25, 2015 and concluded with the release of the season finale, "Jim Henson vs. Stan Lee", on August 3, 2015. It was confirmed in a podcast by Shukoff that there would be a fifth season, with pre-production starting in November 2015 once they came back from the world tour. On December 16, the first off-season battle was released, entitled, "Deadpool vs. Boba Fett." On February 26, 2016, it was announced that Season 5 would begin on May 2, 2016, and on March 22 it was announced that production had begun. Season 5 officially began on May 2, 2016, with the release of the first battle of the season, "George R. R. Martin vs. J. R. R. Tolkien". ERB released battles every other Monday as of the first half of Season 5. On July 12, 2016, "Alexander the Great vs. Ivan the Terrible" was released. This marked the midseason break. Ahlquist later confirmed they were planning to return mid to late October. Filming began for the second half of Season 5 on September 23. On October 26, Season 5 resumed with "Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton". The final episode of Season 5, "Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2" was released on January 9, 2017, where Ahlquist and Shukoff battle against each other once again, as it is a sequel to the Season 1 finale. Following the fifth season, ERB went on an extended hiatus. In 2016, Epic Rap Battles of History was nominated for an Emmy Award in the newly initiated category Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Short Form Variety Series at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards. In 2018, Shukoff announced there would be a sixth season during a performance at Anime Midwest. On November 30, 2018, a video was posted on the official ERB YouTube channel, confirming that Season 6 will premiere in 2019. A "bonus battle" between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg was released on December 7, 2018. In December 2018, Ahlquist said that they had gone "fully independent" of their production company. On April 20, 2019, the Season 6 premiere ("Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine") was released. ERB once again went on hiatus in December, after "Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer". After a 10 month hiatus, ERB returned, with their third election rap battle, "Donald Trump vs Joe Biden". On December 5, 2020, Ahlquist stated in a Behind The Scenes video for their next battle, "Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker" (their second Lego-animated collaboration with Forrest Whaley), that as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, ERB would be transitioning from Season 6 to Season 7 earlier than expected, rather than further postpone Season 6. Several planned battles and concepts will be holdovers from Season 6. Source: Wikipedia

Details & Dimensions

Painting:Acrylic on Canvas

Original:One-of-a-kind Artwork

Size:60 W x 40 H x 1.5 D in

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I’m (I am?) a self-taught artist, originally from the north suburbs of Chicago (also known as John Hughes' America). Born in 1984, I started painting in 2017 and began to take it somewhat seriously in 2019. I currently reside in rural Montana and live a secluded life with my three dogs - Pebbles (a.k.a. Jaws, Brandy, Fang), Bam Bam (a.k.a. Scrat, Dinki-Di, Trash Panda, Dug), and Mystique (a.k.a. Lady), and five cats - Burglekutt (a.k.a. Ghostmouse Makah), Vohnkar! (a.k.a. Storm Shadow, Grogu), Falkor (a.k.a. Moro, The Mummy's Kryptonite, Wendigo, BFC), Nibbler (a.k.a. Cobblepot), and Meegosh (a.k.a. Lenny). Part of the preface to the 'Complete Works of Emily Dickinson helps sum me up as a person and an artist: "The verses of Emily Dickinson belong emphatically to what Emerson long since called ‘the Poetry of the Portfolio,’ something produced absolutely without the thought of publication, and solely by way of expression of the writer's own mind. Such verse must inevitably forfeit whatever advantage lies in the discipline of public criticism and the enforced conformity to accepted ways. On the other hand, it may often gain something through the habit of freedom and unconventional utterance of daring thoughts. In the case of the present author, there was no choice in the matter; she must write thus, or not at all. A recluse by temperament and habit, literally spending years without settling her foot beyond the doorstep, and many more years during which her walks were strictly limited to her father's grounds, she habitually concealed her mind, like her person, from all but a few friends; and it was with great difficulty that she was persuaded to print during her lifetime, three or four poems. Yet she wrote verses in great abundance; and though brought curiosity indifferent to all conventional rules, had yet a rigorous literary standard of her own, and often altered a word many times to suit an ear which had its own tenacious fastidiousness." -Thomas Wentworth Higginson "Not bad... you say this is your first lesson?" "Yes, but my father was an *art collector*, so…"

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