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A Christmas Poo Print

Philip Leister

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About The Artwork

We've all heard of Rudolph and his shiny nose And we all know Frosty who's made out of snow But all of those stories seem kind of... Gay 'Cause we all know who brightens up our holiday Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo Small and brown he comes from you Sit on the toilet here he comes Squeeze him 'tween your festive buns A present from down below Spreading joy with a "Howdy-Ho!" He's seen the love inside of you 'Cause he's a piece of poo Sometimes he's nutty Sometimes he's corny He can be brown or greenish brown (Mmmmhmmm!) But if you eat fiber on Christmas eve He might come to your town! Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo He loves me, I love you Therefore, vicariously he loves you! I can make a Mr. Hankey too! (Pffffft) Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho! I'm Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo Seasons Greetings to all of you! Let's sing songs and dance and play Now before I melt away. Here's a game I like to play Stick me in your mouth and try to say Howdy ho ho yum yum yum Christmas Time has come! Singers: Sometimes He's runny Sometimes he's firm Sometimes he practically water. Sometimes he hangs off the end of your ass And wont fall in the toilet 'Cause he's just clinging to your sphincter And he wont drop off.. And so you shake your ass around And try to get it to drop in the toilet and finally it does. Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo When Christmas leaves he must leave too. Flush him down but he's never gone His smell and his spirit linger on. Howdy Ho! ‘Mr Hankey Theme’ by Mr Hankey Songwriter: Randolph Severn Parker III

Details & Dimensions

Print:Giclee on Fine Art Paper

Size:6 W x 12 H x 0.1 D in

Size with Frame:11.25 W x 17.25 H x 1.2 D in

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I’m (I am?) a self-taught artist, originally from the north suburbs of Chicago (also known as John Hughes' America). Born in 1984, I started painting in 2017 and began to take it somewhat seriously in 2019. I currently reside in rural Montana and live a secluded life with my three dogs - Pebbles (a.k.a. Jaws, Brandy, Fang), Bam Bam (a.k.a. Scrat, Dinki-Di, Trash Panda, Dug), and Mystique (a.k.a. Lady), and five cats - Burglekutt (a.k.a. Ghostmouse Makah), Vohnkar! (a.k.a. Storm Shadow, Grogu), Falkor (a.k.a. Moro, The Mummy's Kryptonite, Wendigo, BFC), Nibbler (a.k.a. Cobblepot), and Meegosh (a.k.a. Lenny). Part of the preface to the 'Complete Works of Emily Dickinson helps sum me up as a person and an artist: "The verses of Emily Dickinson belong emphatically to what Emerson long since called ‘the Poetry of the Portfolio,’ something produced absolutely without the thought of publication, and solely by way of expression of the writer's own mind. Such verse must inevitably forfeit whatever advantage lies in the discipline of public criticism and the enforced conformity to accepted ways. On the other hand, it may often gain something through the habit of freedom and unconventional utterance of daring thoughts. In the case of the present author, there was no choice in the matter; she must write thus, or not at all. A recluse by temperament and habit, literally spending years without settling her foot beyond the doorstep, and many more years during which her walks were strictly limited to her father's grounds, she habitually concealed her mind, like her person, from all but a few friends; and it was with great difficulty that she was persuaded to print during her lifetime, three or four poems. Yet she wrote verses in great abundance; and though brought curiosity indifferent to all conventional rules, had yet a rigorous literary standard of her own, and often altered a word many times to suit an ear which had its own tenacious fastidiousness." -Thomas Wentworth Higginson "Not bad... you say this is your first lesson?" "Yes, but my father was an *art collector*, so…"

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