Nothing Gold Can Stay Print

sometimes I feel like crawling down the water so to die in liquid stream to come back to life as air and to fly around in peace I had a dream about my wedding on a sunny summer day. It was late morning in a huge light mansion owned by my fiance’s family. The guy was old money, beautiful and blond. I would even say he was sweet by the look, like a prince from a tale. His friend was adjusting his suit in the room with high ceilings. I was standing there by the window, I had a view on a green meadow. By the look of it I could tell there were marble fountains and statues somewhere in those gardens. My wedding dress was on and I was sobbing. Silently at first but then I saw he didn’t care and the tears started to choke me. I recall yelling desperately at him to notice my feelings and pain but I guess I was muted. I thought he was supposed to love me, and I was to feel loved, not neglected again. Standing in that room I felt half transparent, like my shadow had not enough darkness. I wasn’t taking up as much space as my body and soul were supposed to. I drowned in the lake nearby the same morning, before the sun was at its zenith. But I didn’t die. After my lungs went empty I became air myself.