The Route Print

I am one of the lucky people who leads an amazing life that many wish for, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized it. For one full year, I traveled back and forth from my new home to the old one for work. But something was eating me up inside and I had no idea what it was. Frustration? Rage? Fear? Depression? or maybe it was my ego. All of these feelings that reminded me every day what I once was and what I could never be again. I had given up everything for them, and accidentally I began to blame my wife and daughters for my anger. I just missed my past. Not the money. Just what I was missing out on. I only thought about myself. I wanted to go back to the life that really took away my humanity. I became absorbed by this system. It was like a war without enemies. It was all adrenaline. Living in Puerto Rico, I eventually had to let go of my job in Venezuela. I started a new project. I had my highs and lows but I kept busy, I started to mix my new work with my responsibilities at home, but it wasn’t the same. Something kept eating me up, but instead of moving forward I kept on moving backward. One day at the beach, three years after moving, my wife and I began discussing our future and we agreed that Puerto Rico wasn’t the best place for our daughters to grow. Maybe it was destiny, because the very next day my wife got a call from work, talking about an opportunity in Europe she could try to get. Being the fighter that she is she got the job, and in just three months we packed up and installed ourselves in our new lives in one of the greatest countries in the world. My ego, my rage, and frustration took ahold of me for years. I kept on failing because of those three words. It was terrible for my wife and daughters, and I didn’t know how to stop. One day my wife and daughters got me a set of paints and a canvas. With fear, I painted something dedicated for them (imagen) Painting and thinking a lot, I began to understand that I was pushing them away. Thanks to the loneliness and talks with myself I think I lived the greatest battle any human can live. To accept and to let go. I kept on taking one step forward and two steps back. They were hard times, but I made the decision to let go of my biggest enemy. My ego. Then came harder days. In the midst of battle, I began to experiment with something marvelous. I enjoyed taking my girls to school and thinking that everything had a purpose.