Throw a fit Print

My work allows me to explore a lack of control. If you are not an artist, maybe artist statements like this sound ethereal or abstract. For me, it isn't. It's the one part of my life where I don't think. I utilize acrylic paints, diluted to different consistencies, and added to a pre-soaked canvas. This allows for a desired variability in how the elements interact. I enjoy this part of art. I, like others, have a difficult time not being in control. As a child and through adulthood, I was part of a religious structure that taught me to put all of my desire for control into another being, and that if I was anxious about this, then I was not behaving appropriately. Having left this culture a handful of years ago, I see the world as swirling, chaotic, and unpredictable, in the best and worsts ways possible. I see my desire for control as a natural, necessary part of being a human amidst continual change. This desire has likely been the reason we still exist as a species. However, I think it is our (humans') challenge to find ways to remind ourselves to chill - to let things go how they're going to go. When I complete a painting in this method, I am almost always pleasantly surprised with how it settled in the morning while drying. I am reminded that it is okay to have fun, try new things, and experiment. It's okay to not have rules. When I paint, I learn how to be free.