Fatigue Drawing

I was born in a provincial town in the South Urals. My father worked as a metal caster at the factory. He was a very strict man, far from art. Mother was a composer and music teacher and was actively involved in her art. Since childhood, I have felt this distinction, between stiffness and impulsiveness, between pragmatism and dreaminess. In our family, everyone dealt only with their own problems. I often felt lonely and melancholy. Deciding to follow in my mother's footsteps, I got an education in music. In the future, it became an integral part of my life, a bright light that gives strength and support in hour of needs. A large, but not the main role in the formation of my musical self-expression was singing in the church choir. At twenty I had a family, later we had children. I had no time for art. Family relations get worse, amid domestic problems, routine and lack of money. Experiences and emotions blew up in me. This was the impetus for the emergence of paintings. Everything that has accumulated in me has spilled on a piece of paper. Music became a conductor, helped to convey my thoughts better. In my works, I combine the musical principle and emotions that overwhelm me. I have never studied drawing and for me it remains something new. In the beginning, there were no definite ideas and images. Feelings turned into lines that took shape. So, the first works appeared. Some elements have become the personification of fears and anxiety. Others conveyed sadness, loneliness, and sorrow. I always listen to music while creating pictures. It guides me, sets the right tone, helps to better cognize my inner world.