'Babyyyy sitting blues. Baby, Baby.' Print

Chris: Hi. Um... My name is Chris Parker. I live in Oak Park. That's a suburb. Brad: They probably figured that out. Ha. Chris: This is Brad, Sara and Daryl. And we're in trouble. Daryl: Ain't no doubt. Chris: See, me and my boyfriend Mike, tonight's our anniversary. But then he went and cancelled. And now I'm stuck watching these three. And it's so hard...! Albert Collins: And it's so hard! Chris: Babysitting these guys. Band: She's got the... Chris: I got this call from Brenda. I went to pick her up. The tire had a blowout. And my mom's car got shot up. Sarah: And these guys started to chase us. Brad: And we all got hijacked. Ha! Daryl: We're cruising down the highway. Chris: In this big ol' Cadillac. And it's so hard! Albert Collins: And it's so hard! Chris: Babysitting these guys. Albert Collins: She got the babysitting blues. Band: Baby, baby. Babysitting blues. Chris: I've got the babysitting blues. Albert Collins: There's nights you swear you were born to lose. Like tonight. And you wish your feet were walking in someone else's shoes. Chris: Some guys are out to get us. Daryl: And Brenda's probably dead. Brad: We ain't got a nickel. Albert Collins: And they should be in bed! And you outta luck. Chris: I got enough watching these guys. I've got the babysitting blues. Sarah, Brad, Daryl: Baby, baby. 'Babysitting Blues' Brenda: Uh, those are hot dogs, right? Hot Dog Vendor: Yeah, want one? Brenda: Mmm, yeah I'd love one. Hot Dog Vendor: That'll be two bucks. Hot Dog Vendor: [Brenda hands him a check, he stares incredulously] A check? Brenda: Yeah, but it's a good check. See, Chris' mom wrote it to Chris 'cause Chris bought her something, I can't remember what. Then I bought Chris some press-on nails, I gave Chris the difference, and she wrote the check over to me. So I'll write the check over to you, you keep the difference, and I'll take the hot dog. So, you got a pen? Hot Dog Vendor: Get outta here! Brenda: Wait! I'm starving, you'd rather throw it away than give it to me? Hot Dog Vendor: I work on a cash-only basis. Brenda: But it's a perfectly good check! Hot Dog Vendor: No! I'll make it very clear. You slip me the cash, and I'll slip you the weiner. Brenda: But I don't have any cash! Hot Dog Vendor: Then I don't have a weiner! Gang Leader: Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell! [Chris picks up the knife and shoves it in the gang leader's face] Chris: Don't fuck with the babysitter! Daryl: You gotta be shitting me. Chris: Watch your mouth! Daryl: Watch my mouth? You gotta be shitting me! Chris: Don't worry. We'll get home. This has all just been a big mistake. Sarah: What about Brenda? Brad: That was her parents' mistake. Brad: Daryl, why are you hugging me? Daryl: Brad, don't you ever die on me! Ever! Brad: O.K. I won't. Sarah: [about Dawson] Its Thor! Brad: No it's no not Sara. Sarah: [to Dawson] Don't listen to him, he says you're a homo. Dawson: [Angrily grabs Brad by shirt] You spreading lies about me, kid? Brad: [Nervously] Who, me? Never! Brad: Uh... where's the spare? Daryl: Maybe it's on the car... you think? Janitor #1: Put the animal down. Brenda: Why? Janitor #2: We gotta kill it! Brenda: [shocked] What? You monsters! Why would you want to kill a poor defenseless little kitten? Janitor #2: Kitten? [both janitors start laughing loudly] Janitor #1: This ain't no kitten, kid. Janitor #2: That's a jumbo-sized sewer rat! Chris: What do you want? John Pruitt: I just want to help you. Daryl: Don't listen to him, he just wants to scrape our faces off. John Pruitt: [referring to the hook on his right hand] What? You scared of this? [laughs] John Pruitt: You kids must be from the suburbs! from 'Adventures in Babysitting' (1987) Starring Elisabeth Shue (Heart and Souls), Keith Coogan (Toy Soldiers), George Newbern (Justice League), Anthony Rapp (A Beautiful Mind), Penelope Ann Miller (The Freshman), and Vincent D'Onofrio (Full Metal Jacket). Written by David Simkins (The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.). Directed by Christopher Columbus (Bicentennial Man)