Magic Mirror No.1, "Lost in Nowhere" Painting

Like many of you out there, I have the challenge of manic depression. One day however, I thought to myself, Anthony, this big old temperamental ‘black dog’ has been following you since you were very young... what if he is actually your friend, and you feel like you feel because you are ignoring him? Why not embrace and make friends? So I did. And through that journey I gave him a name, ‘Cerberus’, and decided that instead of hiding away, I would go up to the dog, big and scary thing that he is, and extend my hand in friendship. When I made that choice, everything became possible – he was just lonely and had been following me because only I could see him. Now… I understand that many of you will also have black dogs of your own – and we all face our demons in our own way and exercise / exorcize them in one way or another – I paint. And when I do, Cerberus sits happily with me in my in my studio, his tail wagging and wondering what we are going to see and discover in the ‘Magic Mirror’ that is the blank canvas. I do not plan paintings - they happen organically - I begin using liquid-white medium with a 'wet on wet' technique in order to blend effectively. I see shape and form evolving through the early phases of a painting, and then I define what has come to light by chance. Each painting is therefore a series of 'stages of thought'... After each session, I let the oil dry and then build over the last layer or part of the canvas that needs attention. When I first started painting my thoughts, like Cerberus, were wild, radical and raw – but over time, they became more considered and philosophical. In some cases, like 'Lost in Nowhere', there are only 2 layers of paint, however, this is a particularly important work to me - It remains locked in a certain point in time and is very precious. I painted this when I was deeply depressed – for those of you who suffer – you know when you are in a low point and you feel as though it will never end? But at the same time, you’ve been through it before so you know that it will so there is a sense of stillness and acceptance about it? That’s the feeling – being ‘Lost in Nowhere’. In other cases, like, 'The Other Side of the Tower', there are over 10 layers of thought, the first was painted while experiencing deep anxiety in my late 20's, and the progressive layers which took time to paint reflect the journey out of a very dark place and coming through the 'door of oneself' into a new 'reality'.