(hopefully not...!) Deservedly, Finally, Alone, Completely Collage

Paint, paper, cardboard, masking tape, ink, pencil on paper - This rather sombre number - made in the summer of 2011 - at the time expressing my heartbroken and furious feelings of being betrayed towards a certain person. She sadly prophesied she would end up dying alone and was unable to feel..... hence the title. It is not a good feeling to discover via social media - 2 months after she said she was 'not ready for a relationship', but still snogging you and allowing you to pay for things - knowing you love her (but trying to be a gentleman - and aware of how fragile she was feeling)........that they are now going out with someone - someone she had been trans-Atlantically shmoozing - while you are unable to function (even speak!) while in the throws of a severe illness - and being told it was your fault for not communicating. OUCH! I really did this for myself as a sort of cathartic, 'thought collage' round a painting of 'the final straw' on THAT holiday that lead to my collapse....... I have never met someone so nice...yet.....alone and unable to deal with her 'stuff' - thus trapped in a bubble of aloneness, denial, and pretend - being 'jolly'........(and I suspect being with rather emotionally limited men). I can talk - I spent many years doing the same (with women) - I rather allowed myself to let her dump her 'stuff' on me as I thought that was what she needed at the time. So some fault for being a doormat and 'unmanly'. Wherever YOU are....I do hope you found the emotional intimacy - and acceptance - you so craved - rather than someone who'll just look after you as you can't be alone (or who you have to look after more like!) - And before you deny it - how long has it been since you were really single? (the 9 months you didn't go out with me doesn't count) - I think it is nearly 30 years - since I met you I have basically been alone for 36! - I wonder why?. You are forgiven, but I will tell it as it is - I was a psychiatrist who dealt with damaged people - and I have forgiven myself (equally damaged too). I learned from you not to be a doormat - trying to be too kind ends up in heartbreak - and repeats the earlier experiences of abuse. So thank you in a weird sort of way (not 'all good') of being so 'taking' and needy - through your own pain - that I was finally able to break MY own damaging cycle of being (ab)used. I have added the 'hopefully not....!' as love endures beyond the hurt. I now feel able to share it (the picture and the 'process').

Collage:Paper on Cardboard

Original:One-of-a-kind Artwork

Size:11.5 W x 15.8 H x 0.1 D in

Delivery Time:Typically 5-7 business days for domestic shipments, 10-14 business days for international shipments.