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VIEW IN MY ROOM
VIEW IN MY ROOM
Painting, Oil on Canvas
Size: 48 W x 60 H x 1.5 D in
Ships in a Crate
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(Please send all inquiries to firstname.lastname@example.org) For me this self portrait is proof that I can do more than I give myself credit for. I AM more than I give myself credit for. I’m not sure what exactly drove me to want to create this piece. Maybe the heartbreak, feelings of inadequacy, the depression and defeat that I was experiencing at the time. I felt as though I was losing my sense of self and I was being betrayed by my thoughts. I needed to see myself as the person I used to think I was. Before all of this ache had set in and before my heart was attacked with the illusion of being in love only to find that I was, and had always been alone. For a long time, deep down, I’d wanted to be someone’s muse. I’d always thought that would be a beautiful thing to have happen. But it’s not something that can be forced and the way I saw it, the inspiration could go both ways. I thought I may have come close to that type of relationship with a few people but it always fell short of allowing us to be together in that way. It felt like failed potential. In a deeply disappointed state, I decided I should try to produce the type of photo that someone might take of me if they were indeed in love with me. I washed up and moisturized my skin, fixed my hair to be as large as possible and put on my yellow silk kimono with pink and violet flowers that I had purchased as a special gift for myself right after a traumatic event had taken place the year before. I fixed the lighting in my apartment to a warm blush color, arranged some of my favorite things in an attractive way, turning my couch into a makeshift throne or some sort of shrine. I put flowers at my feet and next to my bare legs. As I sat there in my apartment with my iphone connected to a bluetooth remote, the lamp facing me and the blinds drawn, I tried to muster up all of the self confidence, pride, and sensually I could find within, then discretely push the button. Quite a few takes later, I knew I had what I needed. When I looked at the photo that I took of myself that night, I saw someone who was in control of their emotions and comfortable in their own skin. I saw the grown up version of myself who would not settle for a half ass commitment, a stifled apology, or anything less than true love. Then, I decided to challenge myself with painting a self portrait. Something, I had never actually done. I felt it was necessary for me to see that I actually am the person sitting there in that photo, on the couch shrine. An artist, with flowers at her feet. I needed to be that for myself.
Painting:Oil on Canvas
Size:48 W x 60 H x 1.5 D in
Packaging:Ships in a Crate
Delivery Time:Typically 5-7 business days for domestic shipments, 10-14 business days for international shipments.
Handling:Ships in a wooden crate for additional protection of heavy or oversized artworks. Crated works are subject to an $80 care and handling fee. Artists are responsible for packaging and adhering to Saatchi Art’s packaging guidelines.
Ships From:United States.
For me, creating art is a transformative practice that is necessary for self exploration and acceptance. I am primarily a self-taught artist and I paint because the act of doing so helps me to heal and carry through the traumas of life. I find painting to be enormously therapeutic. As a black female artist, I never want to be stereotyped or put into a box as I will always give myself the freedom to shift my focus between different mediums and subjects, real or abstract. I began oil painting my junior year in college after signing up to spend a semester in Aix-en-Provence, France at the Marchutz School of Fine Art. At that point, I had only dabbled in acrylic paint to complete some creative projects for an introductory art class that I took to fulfill some essential credits. I didn’t know the love that I would eventually develop for painting. The semester that I spent in Aix was life altering. I felt like a door had opened and I was becoming acquainted with a future version of myself that I previously did not know existed. At Marchutz, much of the formal studies that we did were based on how to see the world from a painter’s perspective with a particular focus on classical impressionism. With the exception of reviewing color theory, we were given little instruction on how to actually use the tools that were provided. For the first time, I stood in front of a square piece of cardboard propped up on an easel that wasn’t mine, with a brush in my hand, a bottle of turpentine, some linseed oil, and a limited array of colors spread out on the palette in front of me. I felt completely lost. One of the other students who had been there the previous semester saw how confused I was and she decided to take me under her wing. She showed me how to use the materials and gave me a few solid options for how to get the paint mixed with the oil and onto the cardboard. From there, I felt myself start to take off. Over the next decade I would continue to keep my passion for oil painting close to me wherever I was in life. I have taught myself new techniques, upgraded my materials and canvas sizes, moved my studio across the country from Seattle to Chicago, and most recently, began to work on projects that include people. Which is not something that I had previously done in great detail. This journey has been and will continue to be one of self exploration and growth apart from the expectations of others.
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