Anticipation Painting

People’s internal worlds have always intrigued me which drove me to re-train as a counsellor/psychotherapist in my early 40s. Having originally studied literature, I was interested in looking at different forms of expression – beyond language – for several years. The exploration of internal landscapes and emotional processes carried over for me in my practice as a mixed media, abstract artist. The world of therapy opened up a deeper exploration of instinctive and deeply personal processes that painting helped me to access. Concurrently, producing art became my own form of therapy. In my therapeutic work I discuss emotional states; in my art I aim to translate emotions into abstract, poetic, visual markers on canvas. The starting point is most often colour; I start with a particular palette in mind that most adequately relates to my current state of mind. My work is process-driven leaving room for chance and error. Rather than specific imagery, the work develops through movement and gesture on the canvas. I let the painting guide my brushstrokes, splashes and marks on the canvas surface. Much like the human psyche my work is layered with thinner and thicker washes of colour. The painting process itself is soothing and frequently cathartic for me. I can discharge my emotions through the work on canvas or paper. Primary emotions such as sadness, terror or disappointment are often masked as secondary emotions, i.e. emotional reactions that we have in response to the primary feelings. Often the secondary emotion such as anger masks the underlying feelings that we experience originally. The process of painting often helps me to access these primary emotions; having access means having more understanding and choice in dealing with these hidden feelings. While never formally studying art I have been tutored and mentored weekly for a year, 2021 to 2022 by the artist and lecturer Jens Kilian at the Freie Akademie für Malerei und Grafik in Düsseldorf, Germany.