"Halloween Charity Ball Gone Bad" Painting

My approach to making art is like cooking. Here is my recipe. You can alter this slightly depending on your state of mind:
In a non-stick inherited cheap sauce pan, heat one ounce linseed oil mixed with 3 ounces of drama and an angry cat hiss. You can add a very small amount of seriousness, but not necessary. Whisk in one tablespoon each cobalt anger, song, betrayal, and cadmium acid reflux. Then in a small sauce pan, heat to 120 degrees 3 cups of laughter, 5 gessoed cat whiskers, and one adult magazine from 1977. Remove from helium inflated floating stove and cool until you understand what just happened. In a separate bowl, place 2 Wes Montgomery guitar solos, about a cup of Oh-Woe-Is-Me, and a very silly dance. The dance MUST be silly for best results. Pre-heat oven to reach the temperature of the sun. Or 325 degrees. Line a jelly-roll pan with one layer of hallucination and one happy raw sienna memory. Check your wallet to make sure that there is still no money in it. Pour 8 ounces of a good cry into wallet. Repeat. Go poop, and wash your hands. Bake ingredients above for 25 minutes or until you are mildly depressed and smiling. With a palette knife, playfully spread 6 to 10 high resolution black and white JPG photo files that have been opened, cleaned, and archived. This recipe goes well with small pieces of oil pastel and jalapenos pickled in mineral spirits, self-doubt, and thoughtful contemplation.