Inner Girl or Goethes Magic Painting

I've been painter since very early childhood. My common believe is that painting can gain life of its own and I consider individual painting the dynamic conundrum of slow process. Vitalism hits my attitude towards creation. That is probably because I see in it fertile pronouncement of a claim rather than a mechanistic method going after its prearranged goal. Painting to me is a life lived. In this respect I admire Guston, Vallotton, Bonnard, Piero della Francesca, Agnes Pelton and others in the considerably long chain from family of painters. The claim on life in painting coalesce with myself, my individual persona, my emotional body and open mind, my great but also absolutely failing skills and sheepishness. Therefore I seek balance and harmony in every image I make. Everything is worthy to be transformed into painting. Painting goes beyond control. I negate and deny many pictures on one canvas before reaching the point when I want to see the painting again without getting neutral to it. There is a lot of scraping and repainting; many of new starts. Awkwardness with pinch of humor. The critical point rests in the way of grasping rightly meeting and melting edges of the metamorphosis momentum. Change from Within. To see the finished painting supposes to become an exquisite serene enigma vibrating with beauty and love to which one keeps returning.