69 Views
4
View In My Room
Canvas
20 x 16 in ($120)
White Canvas
White ($160)
69 Views
4
The painting got it's name from Maren Morris' song "Kingdom of One". This beautiful song charmed me not only for it's sound but it resonated with me on a personal level. One of my deepest fears is that I'm a dysfunctional person to a level in which I will never be able to be together with someone, trapping me forever in solitude within myself. While I realise it's probably a dramatisation in my head, it's still a very real experience. For some reason I was left out from groups from a very early age. I wanted to belong but somehow I never fit. It hurt, so after some time it became normal for me to stay on my own doing my thing and just wanting to be left alone... At least that's what I told myself. Truth be told, like any other human-being, I always wanted to belong– I've had several periods in my life where I've gone out of my way to try to fit in. Mostly they've consisted of faking my nature one way or another. As an adult I isolated myself further until I got really sick of the deep loneliness I felt. I understood that "fake it til you make it" won't work for me, so instead I started genuinely opening up to people. I started trusting the people around me and let my existing friends even closer. I let go of the pre-existing notion of "they'll never understand me anyway" and found that yes, the people around me probably won't give me what I need, because that's something I need from myself. Everything else that the people around me bring to the table is a unique extra from their side. Relapses to the old and familiar feelings of solitude occur but today I know it's always going to be my choice, wether I let someone into my kingdom or not, it's on me.
2020
Giclee on Canvas
20 W x 16 H x 1.25 D in
21.75 W x 17.75 H x 1.25 D in
White
White Canvas
Yes
Ships in a Box
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Estonia
Through art I tell stories about my personal experiences as means of sharing my joys and relieving my pain. Even though I believe a painting should stand on its own, sharing stories alongside my work has proven crucial to the connection I have with my audience. The first stage of this act is therapy for myself and the second is comfort for others. The inner turmoil I’ve encountered in my life had first pushed me to start sharing my experiences in 2017 and today it’s become the essence of my work. I’ve found through years of this practice that the need for candid stories about one’s experiences is in high demand. It’s not common to share one’s struggle openly because as humans we are extremely complicated beings. Often it’s not the lack of will holding us back but the lack of understanding. In my practise I spend a lot of time studying psychology and comparing myself and my experiences to what I’ve learned. The aim of this practise is to be in the know of today’s ways of thinking as well as it’s heritage but more importantly to deepen the understanding of myself as a human being. This approach of accepting and bettering myself through knowledge and self-reflection is my way of making the world a better place. I believe my greatest responsibility before the world is to find peace and understanding within myself. Turning to more knowledgeable people on the topic of psychology helps me deepen my vocabulary when I choose to share my stories with others. In the end I think that being such intricate creatures it’s impossible to reach our true depth and often words will fail in describing the human experience. That’s when I pick up the brush to paint a picture that gives meaning to my existence.
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