Monarch with Peonies Print

I’ve been studying art since I was 12, and my art teacher went out of her way to talk about my “talent” in front of my mother. It’s so easy to fall in love with art and pure creation, but the relentless realities of life can often make the strive for betterment of yourself seem insignificant. In 2016 my father, Charles Thomas Moore, Jr., 58, committed suicide. I tried to continue with my life as normal, teaching for work, getting to know my new husband. I had been dealing with undiagnosed depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and varying states of PTSD for the previous decade of my life. My father’s death was the last straw and my version of rock bottom looks like an 6th grade girl hugging me while I’m crying over the loss of my father, even though she had no idea what was wrong. So, I went to therapy, found out a lot about myself, like compulsive thoughts are a sign of OCD, I’ve been trapped in codependent relationships my entire life, and that the world that was built for me was one of constant fear and danger. Therapy worked so well for me, and above all I would recommend it for literally anyone. I learned that I was broken but that I could fix myself, and that’s what good therapy can do. Now the cornerstone for my rebirth is art, and I find that I have to apply many of the changes that I made in my mental health life in my work. You won’t see evidence of my personal struggles within my work, perhaps I’m not ready to make that work, but right now my life and art are about holding on as tight as you can to joy, peace, and beauty. I can no longer live a life where I dwell in the awful and compulsive thoughts in my head, so I’m learning how to chase joy. I can’t hate myself all of the time anymore, so I have to chase peace. I can’t frustratingly try to fix a world that I have no control over, so I need to chase beauty. But I also need my work to be seen and to be shared, perhaps to soothe others, to bring that solid moment of tranquil happiness to other people, maybe to help other people on their paths of recovery.