Rock Bottom Print

My art started as an escape of those dark times. With an old, stained painter’s drop cloth wrapped around a 66"x47" canvas print and primed with gesso. I began self-rehabilitation through an angry flow of creativity. Plumbers foam was squirted into rock formations, metallic and matte spray paint depicting abstract landscapes. Various blues used to represent my deep loneliness. Glitter was strewn about everywhere to represent the fire light within my soul still burned. When I was finished I unwrapped the canvas and brought it to my dad, he made a simple frame from 2"x4"'s and I stapled the drop cloth canvas to the frame. The painting is hung with a tied string stapled and hanging from the back. My Journey of expression: Most of my portfolio was created when i was at rock bottom, whether in body, mind, or soul. Rock bottom is an interesting place; to the outsider, the acquaintance, or even the friend I seemingly had it all together. If only they knew! If only I was able to share my soul with them. I am a believer of not manifesting negative thoughts, so I found another outlet to express emotions without speaking them into existence. To learn, grow, and become better than I was yesterday. My struggles have taught me that overextension becomes exhausting and can lead to a loss of identity. Previously, when I knew I wasn’t capable of being the best version of myself, I would hide away until I was “myself” again. I know now that one’s identity is comprised of both the best and worst one’s self, and that hiding away is to deny an awareness of areas in need of growth. I have vowed to never lose my sense of self, regardless of the shortcomings that make me who I am. Now, I don’t worry myself with the things I cannot change, but I do attempt to address them head-on to realize swift improvement. Pablo Picasso once said, “Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” My dad taught me to create a vision, document that vision, and remind myself daily that incremental steps are what bring me closer to that goal, that success. I witnessed his path to success cut short by addiction. I saw myself in him, and I’m sure he saw himself in me. My art started as an escape of those dark times. With an old, stained painter’s drop cloth primed with gesso as a canvas, I began self-rehabilitation through an angry flow of creativity. Plumbers foam was squirted into rock formations, metallic and matte spray paint depicting abstract landscapes. Various blues used to represent my deep loneliness. I realize now that it wasn’t really an escape, it was a healing; to create that dreamland of loneliness and denial was to also journey back to reality. I believe that my art captures the elements of life—water, earth, wind, fire, and energy— and that this elemental understanding isn’t antiquated. Air gives us life. I often feel the impact of the weather on my mood. I notice that I give power away when I react instead of respond. Movement can calm the soul. Nourishment of the body requires balance, and nourishment of the soul requires streams of support and energy given by those who love us. I am a believer in being part of a community and believing in something greater than the individual. The story my art tells is one that many understand, and one that I believe desperately needs to be shared more within our society.