Everything is Awesome Painting

I was never one of those little girls who dreamt about what it would be like to get married and have kids. I never had boyfriends in high school and had only one real relationship in college. It’s kind of bizarre then that my husband and I began dating a few months after I graduated and have been together ever since. We dated for five years before we got married and were married for seven before we had kids. We just weren’t ready, until we were. Or were we? I love my children more than anything in the world, but I am the first one to admit that being a mom is the most difficult job I have ever had. I don’t think I am particularly good at it (and I am not just saying that, so people say yes you are). I am an only child, and an introvert, and have spent most of my life just doing me. That’s not to say that I am not a good friend, or partner, or even that I am selfish. I just am used to having a lot of time by myself. I’ve mentioned before that I have gotten fired from almost every job I have ever had. Well, funny enough my youngest fired everyone in our family the other day. I didn’t go goo goo gah gah over breast feeding and mothering the way many of my peers did. I see so many artists who lean into that portion of motherhood and the beauty in it, and while I appreciate the beauty and sentiment, it’s just not my thing. Breast feeding did not come easily to me because I had little to no milk. I’m not going to lie I am kind of thankful for that because I HATED it. It was exhausting, frustrating and all consuming. I lasted four weeks with my first and maybe two with my second. I loved snuggling and still do, but when it’s bedtime I want my kids to go to sleep. In their own beds. And not wake up until at least 7am. Wishful thinking. So, images of co-sleeping never ran through this artist mama’s mind. That’s not to say that my kids don’t have an impact on my work because they absolutely do. I work with what inspires me, and the repetition, pride, frustration, love, anxiety, fear, and joy that I find from my children have completely inspired this latest series of work, title “Inspired By.” Before this series I was at a point in the studio where I was stuck, and that’s mainly because my job of Mommy had become all-consuming. With one in Kindergarten with his own emotional and health issues, and another in pre-school that works out his frustration by hitting, kicking and throwing everything but the kitchen sink at me, his brother and Dad, I just wasn’t feeling inspired to do much of anything but cry. I still cry often because I’m human, but I took this energy and turned it into a series of work that I am really proud of, and “Inspired By,” just like I am by my little family.