A Self Portrait of Social Anxiety Painting

Initially inspired by Frida Kahlo’s own self portrait “The Wounded Deer”, this piece is a tangible embodiment of my social anxiety. Completed in a Pointillist style, impasto is frequently seen, being particularly thick in the whites of the lightbulbs. Fitted with hardware and ready to hang. Edges painted with a contrasting, bright, lemon yellow should you choose to leave it unframed. I am a taxidermy deer, hanging upon the wall, cemented, watching without interaction. In group interactions I remain mute. My inability to speak is depicted with my muzzle, located directly center of the image. The lightbulbs are those people who surround me, who are laying all around me, enveloping me, yet those who I am unable to break through to; I cannot penetrate their conversation. They are so bright and extroverted and too colorful, too comfortable among only themselves that I cannot intervene. Their light immediately refracts off of me for I am allotted no time to absorb and respond. I am too afraid to reply. I feel constricted within myself. More literally, I identify myself with the buck because of my surname. In addition, the twelve points of the antlers represent my date of birth: 12/12/98 while the quantity of bulbs—17—correspond to my age at the time of this work’s creation.