WHO I AM Painting

It was March 8, 2020. Who am I? - such a question sounded in my head that day. It was a psychologically difficult day, because I realized again how hard it is to be strong. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say, how hard it is for a strong person to reveal to someone that he has moments of weakness or even despair. That he no longer understands where to get inspiration. I would like to say that right now the whole environment, social networks are making loud slogans - YOU MUST BE STRONG! YOU NEED TO THINK POSITIVE! YOU MUST BE EXAMPLE TO OTHERS! It places so much responsibility on strong people who fight and achieve so much in their lives that it inspires others, that they drive others. They become afraid to show their true nature. They start to think that discovering that they are afraid of something, they will no longer be able to be strong and stand up to keep moving further. This was that day for me. There was a feeling that emotions would tear me to pieces. All I wanted at the time was to take a canvas and put all these feelings on it. Without thinking whether a particular word is bad or good. It is difficult to describe the fireworks that I had at the time. I literally ran into the studio. I tore off the canvas packaging. I dropped it on the ground. I grabbed the first pencil I saw, squatting on my knees, wrote all these words which came out of me uncontrollable. After the words, colors came on the canvas. My hand just reached out for colors the soul craved. RED, BLACK - it was big energy. I has angry. Then a little extra from blue, yellow, orange. Then I paused. Broke into tears. Through the colors, I saw the words you see on the painting now. Purely intuitive, it seems like only the most important words for me remained. I stopped again. At first I didn't even think it would be a painting. I just wanted to talk to myself. However, I could not stop. I had accumulated a lot of words and it was a poem, I will try to translate and add below. I stopped that day . On the way home, I suddenly felt like it was a painting and on it I wanted a child who was swinging on a swing. Then I remembered such a photo was with my son as a child. I found it. A little boy on a swing arrived on the painting the next day. Paper boat I painted later. This is a symbol for me - to let myself be the way I am. This was a unique experience that I want to share with others. A way to help yourself when you feel psychologically drained. The whole process of painting really freed me as a personality, as a woman. It was my trance condition. Deep subconscious cleansing. My true self. For me, the boy is a symbol of not forgetting or limiting my inner child. In fact, only our physical body grows, the mind becomes perfected. Internally we are always a child in need of support. At the end of the painting, I wanted to highlight only three words in white - ME, CHILDHOOD, HUMAN. The word that I finally striked out with yellow lines is death. Emotionally I no longer felt the need for it. The words of the painting are used in my poem. Who am I? I am words! Words! Learned words! Words of my feelings! I am an emotion - fear, despair, loneliness, pain. I am the beginning and I am the end. But today I am sadness, tears, hatred, anger, frustration, death. Who will I be tomorrow? I will be joy, laughter, love, emotions, happiness, song… I will be life! The beginning and the end! I am human! I am words! Do you expect joy from me ?! But today I will give pain! I will give mine shining tears! My despair is just mine! It makes up my words. I'm just asking you to understand. I am human! My life is my words! My colors - the beginning and the end! I will put on my pain in gold. I will turn tears into pearls. You will say - beautiful! Yes, pain also can be like that. However, these are just words at this moment. The words of my heart. Invisible to you. But they bent me to the ground. Tomorrow I will be JOY! Tomorrow I will be the beginning! © Anda Bieza 08.03.2020.

Painting:Acrylic on Canvas

Original:One-of-a-kind Artwork

Size:47.2 W x 39.4 H x 1 D in

Delivery Time:Typically 5-7 business days for domestic shipments, 10-14 business days for international shipments.