I wanted to give everything, everything that I have, just to... Drawing

Hi!My name is Anita Crystaleva. I draw the ghosts of humanity in a dying universe. All my life I am looking for an answers to the questions: what is it to be a human and why do we exist? What will be left of humanity when the world is gone? What is the cosmic value of what we live, feel, and die? Are there any particles in the universe that will preserve the memory of us? My drawings are a fantasy about such particles. Surreal unstable ghosts of our experience of lives, our feelings, our technological achievements, momentarily visualized in this huge stream of memory particles of the universe seconds before its death. The goal of my art is to allow people to feel the full horror of the grandiose unknowable greatness of the universe and, drowning in this feeling, ask themselves "What is really valuable to me?" The formation of me as a person and as an artist was influenced by two things: The first is that I have been an atheist since I was 14 years old. I can't help it, I can't think otherwise. And I'm very afraid of death. On this side, my drawings are a lonely cry into a pitiless void that will take me and everything I hold dear. Second , I was raised by my mother, who always wanted to die as soon as possible. And she still wants it. On this side, my drawings are a reminder that there will be no second life and that every moment is now a value in itself. If you want to learn more about my vision, how I draw and what I reflect on, I blog on instagram. I will always be happy to talk to you.