![Woliger: Achoo!
Major Payne: What the hell was that you little freckle face cartoon? Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie?
Woliger: No, sir.
Major Payne: Then you hold it before I kick your ass back to Mayberry.
Major Payne: You like the way I handled them white folks back there?
Cadet Williams: Yeah.
Major Payne: You like a black man to handle things?
Cadet Williams: Malcolm X.
Major Payne: Let me tell you something... I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BROTHER!
Major Payne: Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up.
Emily: Excuse me, what did you say?
Major Payne: I didn't stutter, I said pop-your-titty-out-his-mouth AND STOP BABYING HIM.
Emily: I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing.
Major Payne: And I call it neutering.
Emily: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic ASSHOLE!
Major Payne: I ain't frigid.
Major Payne: Hello, little fella. What you had was a nightmare. You know what a nightmare is?
Kevin 'Tiger' Dunn: [nods head]
Major Payne: Well, that's all this is. Now, you better run on up to your room before that man jump out the closet and chop your little head off!
Major Payne: What's your damage, muscle head? You stupid? You ignorant or are you just plain old deaf?
Woliger: Actually, sir, he is deaf.
Major Payne: Oh, thank you now drop down and give me 25 more for speaking out of line!
[back to Fox]
Major Payne: I'm sorry, Mr. Handicapped Man. I did not mean to offend you. Do you understand sign language? Can you read lips? Well if you don't answer me when I speak to you, I'm gonna put my foot in your ass, is that clear dummy?
Cadet Fox: Sir, yes sir!
Major Payne: ...WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, ASS-EYES...? You eyeballing me, boy...? Let me tell you something, ass-eyes... LET ME TELL ALL OF YOU PUKES SOMETHING! WAR HAS MADE ME VERY PARANOID! AND WHEN ANOTHER PERSON GOES TO EYEBALLING ME, IT MAKES MY AGENT ORANGE ACT UP, AND I GET THE URGE TO BREAK HEADS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, ASS-EYES...? DO THE REST OF YOU TURDS UNDERSTAND THAT...? *I CAN'T HEAR YOU...!*
Major Payne: Hello cue balls! Welcome to the house of Payne!](https://images.saatchiart.com/saatchi/1343820/art/7900083/additional_c5bf9ff4f5f1dc125acdeb8c2a0d4ec0099492ba-AICC2-22.jpg)
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"I've been known to cut a little rug in my day" Painting
Painting, Acrylic on Canvas
Size: 36 W x 48 H x 1.5 D in
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About The Artwork
Woliger: Achoo! Major Payne: What the hell was that you little freckle face cartoon? Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie? Woliger: No, sir. Major Payne: Then you hold it before I kick your ass back to Mayberry. Major Payne: You like the way I handled them white folks back there? Cadet Williams: Yeah. Major Payne: You like a black man to handle things? Cadet Williams: Malcolm X. Major Payne: Let me tell you something... I AM NOT YOUR DAMN BROTHER! Major Payne: Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up. Emily: Excuse me, what did you say? Major Payne: I didn't stutter, I said pop-your-titty-out-his-mouth AND STOP BABYING HIM. Emily: I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing. Major Payne: And I call it neutering. Emily: And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic ASSHOLE! Major Payne: I ain't frigid. Major Payne: Hello, little fella. What you had was a nightmare. You know what a nightmare is? Kevin 'Tiger' Dunn: [nods head] Major Payne: Well, that's all this is. Now, you better run on up to your room before that man jump out the closet and chop your little head off! Major Payne: What's your damage, muscle head? You stupid? You ignorant or are you just plain old deaf? Woliger: Actually, sir, he is deaf. Major Payne: Oh, thank you now drop down and give me 25 more for speaking out of line! [back to Fox] Major Payne: I'm sorry, Mr. Handicapped Man. I did not mean to offend you. Do you understand sign language? Can you read lips? Well if you don't answer me when I speak to you, I'm gonna put my foot in your ass, is that clear dummy? Cadet Fox: Sir, yes sir! Major Payne: ...WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, ASS-EYES...? You eyeballing me, boy...? Let me tell you something, ass-eyes... LET ME TELL ALL OF YOU PUKES SOMETHING! WAR HAS MADE ME VERY PARANOID! AND WHEN ANOTHER PERSON GOES TO EYEBALLING ME, IT MAKES MY AGENT ORANGE ACT UP, AND I GET THE URGE TO BREAK HEADS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, ASS-EYES...? DO THE REST OF YOU TURDS UNDERSTAND THAT...? *I CAN'T HEAR YOU...!* Major Payne: Hello cue balls! Welcome to the house of Payne!
Details & Dimensions
Painting:Acrylic on Canvas
Original:One-of-a-kind Artwork
Size:36 W x 48 H x 1.5 D in
Frame:Not Framed
Ready to Hang:Not applicable
Packaging:Ships in a Crate
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Delivery Time:Typically 5-7 business days for domestic shipments, 10-14 business days for international shipments.
Handling:Ships in a wooden crate for additional protection of heavy or oversized artworks. Crated works are subject to an $80 care and handling fee. Artists are responsible for packaging and adhering to Saatchi Art’s packaging guidelines.
Ships From:United States.
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I’m (I am?) a self-taught artist, originally from the north suburbs of Chicago (also known as John Hughes' America). Born in 1984, I started painting in 2017 and began to take it somewhat seriously in 2019. I currently reside in rural Montana and live a secluded life with my three dogs - Pebbles (a.k.a. Jaws, Brandy, Fang), Bam Bam (a.k.a. Scrat, Dinki-Di, Trash Panda, Dug), and Mystique (a.k.a. Lady), and five cats - Burglekutt (a.k.a. Ghostmouse Makah), Vohnkar! (a.k.a. Storm Shadow, Grogu), Falkor (a.k.a. Moro, The Mummy's Kryptonite, Wendigo, BFC), Nibbler (a.k.a. Cobblepot), and Meegosh (a.k.a. Lenny). Part of the preface to the 'Complete Works of Emily Dickinson helps sum me up as a person and an artist: "The verses of Emily Dickinson belong emphatically to what Emerson long since called ‘the Poetry of the Portfolio,’ something produced absolutely without the thought of publication, and solely by way of expression of the writer's own mind. Such verse must inevitably forfeit whatever advantage lies in the discipline of public criticism and the enforced conformity to accepted ways. On the other hand, it may often gain something through the habit of freedom and unconventional utterance of daring thoughts. In the case of the present author, there was no choice in the matter; she must write thus, or not at all. A recluse by temperament and habit, literally spending years without settling her foot beyond the doorstep, and many more years during which her walks were strictly limited to her father's grounds, she habitually concealed her mind, like her person, from all but a few friends; and it was with great difficulty that she was persuaded to print during her lifetime, three or four poems. Yet she wrote verses in great abundance; and though brought curiosity indifferent to all conventional rules, had yet a rigorous literary standard of her own, and often altered a word many times to suit an ear which had its own tenacious fastidiousness." -Thomas Wentworth Higginson "Not bad... you say this is your first lesson?" "Yes, but my father was an *art collector*, so…"
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