Flowers Drawing

When I am painting I am often attempting to create an inner moment externally. When successful, these moments invoke feeling, atmosphere and a sense of memory through use of color, design, texture, and symbols that have deep meaning for me. Painting has never been a social commentary, a flashy statement or an overly descriptive exercise in realism for its own sake. Painting is an expression of personal history and internal thought and feeling with a hope of creating symbolic language that is descriptive of interior life. The painting process quiets the inner chatter in my mind and is my meditation. Sometimes when I am working it feels as though I step on a fluid river of semi consciousness, down and far away from lucid thought. In those fortunate moments the creating is so fluid that what comes out on canvas seems like the result of an unspoken conversation coming from some other energy source. And because of this fluidity, I don't feel as though I am the true author, I am just a conduit. In my painting studio a day starts with expectation and certainty that a journey will begin. Uncertainty is part of this journey, in fact, sometimes an “unsuccessful” session is a struggle and seems as though the path is leading in the wrong direction. I now do not believe in “unsuccessful” sessions, because I am certain that searching will get me to the end product. There could be twenty plus different layers on top of each other, and even if each layer is not visible, there is a resulting presence and energy because of the lamination. There is a resulting presence and history because of the mark making, therefore, opacity doesn't matter- so I trust the process and path. Searching is part of the process, even if it is tangled so I know that eventually the meaning will surface. When I am fortunate, the resulting painting can evoke specific moments or atmosphere with sensory delights, like capturing and freezing a memory that can be entered at other times just by looking at it. I hope there is a commonality to my experience that can connect with others looking at and entering my work.