Appendix 6 - Externally Home! Drawing

When the Facade of something pertaining to the external part of the property I live in, goes missing. I became concerned. Not impossible to be perceived as overly concerned, and nothing to be worried about. But....because, I had previously experienced,a style of trophy stalking! A style I felt was little understood. I was concerned about where the item may turn up again. Concerned, the item had been deliberately taken, and not just thrown away! Having also experienced a style of property entry. Which seemed to be based on the practice of a type of speed entry. These persons would specifically use a person. Observing how long it would take for them to leave their own property, before, they could enter. Insert something into that person's home, or disturb something in this persons home before they return. It is a style of.....how fast can you get in.....damage, or leave, or replace something - where it would be noticed, or would not be noticed for some time! Sounds bizarre? We are all different We all have a myriad different ways, of doing anything, and saying the same thing! If it is your home Upon return despite knowing you left things a certain way. You may find things are not the same This is not just paranoia It is the practice of those who specialise in making you feel paranoid Partly, because they are just sick! Or because they are convinced of having feelings for you which just do not translate the same to you! What one person feels! Is not what another person receives! You find things are not the same when you return home! Which eventually leads you to doubt yourself. Wondering, if ever it happened - though you know it did! Leaving you forever wondering about who is around you? By which time you know you are not safe, already! But, when you live alone. Who could you really tell? Who would believe you? Who is left to trust? People may love you, but they do not necessarily understand what is happening to you! Friendships cannot be forced! Depending on the type of 'grooming' campaign you were faced with You may have been isolated out of trusting anyone! A campaigner of a stalker can feel like.... .....somehow all of sudden in your life Everybody, you speak too, in life is saying the same thing! There are trigger words used! So, even if you go out to try, and socialise You think you are free, and have met new people, or someone new....then, one word is said, and you know it relates to who the stalker is! If no one ever helps you Guaranteed, your life will be surrounded by them! Your life becomes filled with the stalkers interest! Who they claim as friends! You learn diplomacy But life feels like you are living up in, ICE! Feeling like someone is always getting there before you! Despite, stalking you! Their stalking antics, and tactics, have more charisma, fun, and entertainment for everyone - than you have! Despite the help you need Therefore, they get all the attention Though, they maybe looked at, and investigated They have probably always been able to get away with saying.... I CAN EXPLAIN! That is the ICE! Which may also pertain to being stalked by someone who knows you, or who pretends they know you. Pretending that they are somehow related to you, or familiar with you. Therefore, they cannot possibility be seen as stalking you! They now have the perfect alibi, not only to continue to stalk you. But, also to get away with whatever else they do! For you, though you know you are being stalked But, do not quite know by whom They on the other hand are able to walk away free Free to carry on, and in the worst case scenario develop an even more heinous crime, undetected! Why? Because they have developed an undeniable way of 'befriending' their victim, or survivor first. Right, in clear view! With a very believable, and strong grooming campaigns, and a ton of alibi's They continue to do so y locking down every area of your life they possibly can! By entertainment, entrapment, and anything else no doubt! Therefore, nothing they do looks wrong! Sounds cold? Fictional? Or even far fetched? But it is a very stark reality! What I would like to convey to viewers is that very feeling of restriction! The amount of time, and effort that goes into recovering from what is being directed toward you. Constantly! To be aware that there are endless possibilities in the various ways a person would stalk! The private, and very intimate parts of your life, can be dragged wide open. Thrown into public. Just because someone is paranoid, and jealous. Or has done something, they are hiding behind you with? There is unfortunately a degree of people do not realise they are actually stalking, or being stalked! The best thing I try and keep telling myself is not to be dismissive Dissmiveness is a trap anyone can fall into. Even, in the midst of being stalked!! Even, when you ask for help, it is not to take it for granted that the person who comes to help you has not experienced stalked themselves. So many people take things on the chin without realising exactly what it is, and the potential of what that is! Still, call for help even if you have been misunderstood Try, and hold onto the belief in yourself Even, if you only have an ounce left! GET HELP! Stay alert. Unfortunately, without wanting to scare monger, even if the area of help you go too, doesn't feel safe. Try, and try again! I got fed up, and really irritated by trying to get the door panels right! Straight lines! Straight lines! There was so many details which I found too time consuming! Subject Matter! In life I always seemed to laugh at the wrong time, and at the wrong things, and the wrong people! That is what is ingrained in this piece Self Portraiture Work I was also amazed that whilst the subject matter was in front of me! Trying to get the composition of even in the slightest way was incredibility difficult to do. Because to get a straight line straight, it can actually mean drawing at an diagonal angle. It opened up questions of perception for me on every level Am I really seeing what I think, I am seeing? Is everything really in the order I am seeing it in? Am I really looking at what I think I am looking at? Is there an expectation involved of how the composition should be? A preconceived idea? If there is expectation Then, Why is there an expectation? Why is it wherever it is? The event depicted in this scene happened to be the night I got a lot of the answers I was looking for! I realised a level of powerful hatred It became clear to after this event, my privacy yet again was blown open. There was nothing comforting about what I knew to be correct. It was an unwitting thing. It was on huge energetic lesson! Life exploded into so many directions as a result of this scene. I actually did not feel less stalked. Quite the opposite. I created book, after blog, in an attempt rebuild myself from the distraction of being stalked. Feeling examined, and investigated. After book, or creation. Each one chipped away something! Helping me feel better equipped, and able to return, and strengthen the direction of myself, back to myself!

Drawing:Pencil on Paper

Original:One-of-a-kind Artwork

Size:4.6 W x 6.5 H x 0 D in

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