"George Washington's Nightmare" Painting

My name is Jon Eric Narum. I am an oil painter living in Austin, Texas, and I want to introduce you to the artwork of the mysterious and somewhat surly artist named Hercules da Vinci. I first met Hercules (whose birth name is Herbert Davinski, but he insists on being called Hercules da Vinci) in Austin, Texas, when he was going through some hard times and homeless, living in an obscure encampment under the south end of the Lamar Boulevard bridge. One afternoon, over ten years ago, I had unintentionally surprised Hercules as he was consuming his favorite meal of tuna cat food. The first thing he said to me was, “Did you know that I sleep with tin cans on my hands?” I found that intriguing, and we struck up a fairly entertaining conversation. As I was departing, I gave Hercules five bucks to buy some more tuna cat food and then headed back home. Unbeknownst to me, Herc had stealthily followed me home AND moved his encampment into the subspace under my house! I was totally unaware of his presence until, one afternoon, I heard the distinct sound of music coming up from under my kitchen floor. So I stepped outside, opened the door to my subspace, and looking down there I found Hercules sitting in one of those folding camp chairs, playing music on a boom box, and painting one of his so-called “Napkin Abstracts.” As it turned out, in my garbage cart Herbert had found some of the discarded paper towels that I’d used to clean my paint brushes on and he decided they were the perfect canvas for him to create his own artistic vision. He told me he calls his paintings ABSTRACTS FOR INTELLECTUALS. Being curious, I asked Hercules if he considered himself to be an intellectual, and he reminded me that he hadn’t claimed to be an intellectual, only that the paintings were for intellectuals. Fair enough.